Friday, March 31, 2006

Defying Gravity...And Nobody in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was, is ever going to bring me dowwwwwwwwwn.

I love the title to my post. I've had the song stuck in my head. I can't help it.
I've been having the same dream a lot lately. Well, it isn't completely the same every time, but the same thing happens. I'm not really sure what it means.
For the last few weeks, I'll have a dream that I'm able to walk on the air. I'm not able to fly, but if I jump, I'm able to stay suspended. The details of where I am change each time it happens, but I'm always walking through the air.
Each time I have this dream, I tell myself that I'm not going to be able to suspend myself long enough to get to whatever destination I'm going to, but then I start to move and always make it there without touching the ground.
The truly bizarre aspect is that when I wake up, I feel like I can fly. I realize I can't, but for a few seconds, I always tell myself I should just try and I'll be able to. Then the confusion that sleep brings clears from my mind and I realize just how unreasonable it is. I'm weird.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Stupid Door

Don't you love it when your in a public place and someone trips or does something stupid and you see it? It gives you the rite to laugh at them. There's nothing worse then when you're the person doing the embarrassing thing though. In my defense, the door wasn't working correctly.
I went to Meijer before rehearsal because I needed socks and undershirts. Mine are old and I needed new ones. I walked up to the automatic door and saw it start to open. I heard something behind me and glanced over my shoulder. It would figure that at the exact second I turned to look over my shoulder, the door would stop opening. The door didn't even open half way.
I turned back around just as I slammed into the door. I almost fell over backwards I hit it so hard. There were at least 3 people behind me. You know they all are going to be laughing about me and writing about me on their blogs tonight. It wasn't my fault though. I'm going to sue Meijer.

A Sticky Mess

Have you ever had a skittle stuck up your nose? I have and it hurt. I don't really know why I was thinking about this today, but I was driving and my mind suddenly thought of it.

When I was in high school, I was eating skittles after school one day and talking to some of my friends. Someone said something funny, and I started to laugh. Of course, laughing with skittles in my mouth made me start to choke.

I was able to cough the skittle up, but instead of it going back into my mouth, it went up into my nose and got stuck there. I could feel it way in the back, but I couldn't do anything to get it out. I tried to snort it out, but it didn't work. I tried to flare my nostrils, but that didn't work either. I started to panic. I didn't want to go to the hospital to have them take it out. I knew they wouldn't believe my story and would assume I was being dumb and shoving skittles up my nose for some reason.

I finally decided to try to blow it out. I grabbed a tissue and started to blow. It didn't work at first, so I gave it everything I had. That bad boy shot out like you wouldn't believe. Unfortunately, the skittle was bigger then my sinus, and everything stretched out in the process. I think it took a good 2 weeks before my nose finally felt normal again.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Woh Norah

Norah Jones. Where to begin? I'm not a big fan of hers. When she won like 50 Grammys a year or two ago, I thought it was bull. The only song of hers I had heard was Don't Know Why. I wasn't impressed by it. Actually, I hate that song.

With that said, I've recently discovered how much I love the song Come Away with Me. The first time I heard it, I could have taken it or left it. Nothing too special. I've been hearing it a lot lately, which is odd since it isn't a new song anymore. Every time I hear it, I like it a little more. I don't know if it's that smoky vocals, the lyrics, the snares in the background, or a combination of all of them.

I apologize on my blog for some of the bad things I've said about Norah in the past. I still don't think she deserved all those Grammys, and I doubt I'd ever buy her CD. I may download Come Away with Me someday. She isn't all bad.

Son Of a Whore!

The title of this post is what was running through my head when I got out of rehearsal tonight. I couldn't find my car keys. I knew in my heart where they were, still in the ignition of my locked car, but I refused to believe I had been so careless. After checking all the pockets to my coat and jeans about 5 times, I decided to look in my car to see if they were in there.
It was too dark to see from the drivers side window, so I went to the other side of the car so I wouldn't block the light from the building as I cupped my hands around my face and strained into the dark abyss of my car. Sure enough, my keys were still in the ignition, where I had left them. I started to panic because I couldn't remember if I turned the car off or not when I got there. I realized I had and my car had indeed not run out of gas.
I made a call home to see if someone could grab my spare keys and bring them to me. I didn't have any idea if I had spare keys or not, and if I did, I didn't know where they would be. Luckily, they were in the drawer with all the other spare keys. My mom told me she would bring them to me, but wouldn't be able to leave for a few minutes. Understandable enough, I guess. Half an hour later(literally), my mom called me back to let me know she was leaving the house. Nothing like being timely. I guess I can't comlain since I was the stupid one to lock myself out of my car.
The point of my writing this is so everyone will do me a favor. If I'm on the phone with you, and I am about to get out of my car, remind me to grab my keys. I blame Lisa for my mishap tonight. We had been talking on the phone while I was sitting in the parking lot. I was distracted when I finally got out of the car, and didn't grab my keys. I just have to blame this on someone else.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My Hair is Ruined

Since my hair has been growing rapidly since I dyed it awhile ago, I decided to get rid of the roots and go back to my natural color today. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I figured I could get it close enough that it wouldn't really matter. I knew that I would have to lighten my hair color first since my natural color is lighter then the black I did.
I lightened it, and it worked pretty well. My roots were a different color then the tips, but I didn't think it would matter much once I darkened it. I did my second round of dye. Things didn't go as well as expected the second time around.
First of all, my scalp started burning. I don't mean it got a little warm, but it felt like it was on fire. I know that can be a sign of an allergic reaction, but I didn't care. I just left the color in. I couldn't get the water cold enough when I rinsed it out. Washing the dye out felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper across my head.
I dried my hair and looked at it. My hair looks like a dyeing campfire; embers under charcoal. Somehow, my roots turned bright orange, and my tips are still dark. I can't put anymore dye in my hair. I'm scared my skin will fall off. I'm just going to leave it like it is. I don't care anymore.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Got Ink?

I decided to get a new tattoo this weekend. I didn't really know what I wanted, just that I wanted a new one. My brother and sister decided they wanted to get one too, so we made a family day of it yesterday.

We went to the tattoo place to look for designs. My brother actually had a design drawn up for what he wanted the next time he got one, but left it in New Orleans. He decided to just wait till he got back home to get his. That left MJ and me. I was having trouble deciding what to get. That's when I saw the Colonel Sanders tattoo. We're talking about the same colonel who is the face of KFC. It's a portrait of his face, and about the funniest thing I've ever seen. I thought it would be hilarious to get it on my ass.

In time, I decided to go with a design on my lower back. I think it's cool, but I'm not sure everyone else liked it too much. Whatever, it's my body. By the time we picked out what we wanted, the artists told us we would have to come back later in the day to get them done since they had people coming in with scheduled appointments. I had to work that night, so we scheduled appointments for next week to get them done. I'm so excited. I want to be more white trash then I already am and cover my body with ink.

Back to the Stage

I'm getting ready to make my return to the stage, and I'm really scared about it. It's only been about 4 months since I did my last show, so it really isn't a return to the stage, I just wanted to sound dramatic about it. What has me worried is that the show I'm going to be doing isn't a musical. I haven't done a straight show in a long time, and I know I have limitations as an actor.

I didn't audition for this show. I got a phone call a little bit ago from the director saying she still needed someone to play one of the parts in her show. Rehearsals start tomorrow, and she really needs me to do it. Against my better judgment, I agreed. Basically it comes down to the fact that I"m incapable of saying no to people when they ask me to do them a favor.

So, anyone looking for a good laugh at my expense, come see Biloxi Blues at the good old Pit in May. I'm sure to touch your heart with my unconvincing performance.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


My brother is a stupid fuck. I'm drunk as I write this, so I apologize. My brother and my sister went out to eat with my dad tonight. I fell asleep before they went out and ended up meeting up with them just before they were ready to leave.

I stole my dad's beer and started to drink. When the owner of the restaurant came to talk to us, my stupid brother decided to tell him how our waitress hadn't asked for my ID before I started drinking. He wanted to get me in trouble, but the waitress was the one who was going to get into trouble. I kept telling him to shut up, but he is too dumb to realize what was going on.

I wish everyone had class like me.

Monday, March 20, 2006

H.I.P. to be a Whore

Has anyone seen L'oreal's new commercials for their H.I.P.(high intensity pigments) line of cosmetics? I love them. They feature Beyonce looking like an 80's crack whore. Seriously, does anyone want to look like that? If so, why? Is Beyonce that hard up for cash that she's willing to do a national add campaign that makes her look like shit? It's sad.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

It's Raining Candles

I love Yankee Candles. Actually, I love the clean cotton Yankee Candle. I'm a bit of a freak when it comes to scents. If something is too strong, or just smells like ass, I get really nauseous. My candle burned out last night, so I had to get a new one today.
I went to my local distributor to purchase a new one. I hadn't been in there for awhile, and was a little disappointed to see that the clean cotton was on the very top shelf. I'm average height, and there was no way I was going to be able to reach this candle. I decided to try anyway.
I was struggling to get the candle down for a good five minutes. I was on the verge of scaling the display to get it, but figured if I put down my bag from Hallmark and stood on my toes, I should be able to reach it. My fingertips were able to slowly move the candle to the edge of the shelf and I was almost able to get it. Progress is so exciting. About this time, the sales associate finally saw me struggling and started to tell me there were more lower down when about 12 candles feel off the shelf.
I covered my head so I wouldn't get pelted by the candles as they descended around me. It was like a hail storm, but a little more dangerous, as two pound chunks of wax encased in glass fell around me. The irony is that of all the candles I managed to knock off the shelf, none of them were the kind I wanted. I'm pretty sure the girl working wanted to kill me, but she smiled as I stuck the candles back on the shelf.
I still had to get my clean cotton one though. Wouldn't it figure that there were more located at eye level with me. I swear that I'm blind. I still needed an air freshener, so I went to grab one. As I turned to walk to the register, I almost ran into someone in a wheelchair. Seriously, do my eyes work at all? It wasn't like it was a small wheelchair. Full sized, and the poor person in the chair apologized to me, as if it was his fault I don't look where I'm going.
At this point, I was absolutely mortified. Of course my friendly checkout girl saw me run the man in the wheelchair over too. I wanted an air freshener for my car too, but I couldn't find the courage to go look for one. There was a display at the checkout with car air fresheners on it. I didn't see any clean cotton, but the ever helpful, observant worker saw me look at it. She asked if I wanted one in clean cotton, and I said yes. She didn't even try to point me in the right direction, she just went and got it herself. I think she was worried I may ruin the entire store or kill someone if I was to walk across it myself.

Insurance Problems

If my computer tells me there were errors when I try to publish this post again, I'm gonna be pissed. I don't like to rewrite my entries, and I have to because my computer won't let me publish.

Anyhow, I was trying to let everyone know how much of a headache paperwork for insurance is. Even though I've been full-time at my job for the last year or so, it was only made official about a month ago. That means I finally get benefits. With benefits, comes paperwork. I can't figure out how to fill it out, and I'm getting frustrated. Of course it's due tomorrow. I always wait until the last second to do anything. Does anyone know a good lawyer who will work for free for me tonight? I can't decipher any of the legal junk on my papers and am at my wit's end with it. Stupid legal talk.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hit the Road

I checked my schedule at work today and had about 20 seconds of euphoria when I saw that I have next weekend off. I have so many people that I've been promising to visit the last few months and years, but have never had the time to make the trip. I decided that next weekend would be the perfect time to make one of those trips. Before I could even decide who I was going to bless with my company, I realized that I wouldn't be able to make any trips. I volunteered to work at Pit and Balcony that Saturday night. I hate volunteer work. It always foils my plans. Starting next month, I'm going to make one trip each month. That's my goal. Keep your house clean, you never know when I may show up on your doorstep, uninvited.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Speaking of Concussions...

I think that I maybe wrote about this once before, but I don't remember, and I don't feel like looking through my previous posts to find out. So here we go, a possible second telling of a not so entertaining story.

I don't want to admit how old I was when this happened because I was WAY too old to do something this stupid. Okay, I was a junior in high school, and had always wanted a black eye and never had one.

I went roller skating with my sister and our friend Nicole. The three of us always wanted black eyes...I still want one, but have never had one. You just look really tough if you have one. We started talking about it while we were sitting at a table in the snack bar and decided to go for it.

Of course none of us were willing to hit the other. Not because we were worried about hurting each other, we just didn't want to get kicked out of the rink. We had paid, and were going to get the most of our time. We started to hit our heads on the table. We were sitting in a circle around the table, so we just took turns slamming our foreheads on the table(we couldn't figure out the correct angle to actually hit our eye on the table, so we decided to have bruised foreheads instead). People stopped skating to watch us hit our heads out of our own free will, but we didn't care. We were going to get bruises so we could tell people we were in a fight.

The table gave us bumps on our heads, but didn't really make us bruise as well as we had hoped. We decided to use the brick wall instead. I swear to everything this is a true story. We stood along the wall and started to hit our heads on it. Finally, we had the correct ratio of bruising to small cuts on our heads. We looked fierce.

The next day in school, everyone asked what had happened to our faces. We chickened out about the fight; mostly because no one would have believed us. We told them we were roller skating and fell. Amazing that the three of us fell and hit our heads at the exact same spot. No one questioned it though.

So, there you all go. Three updates in one day. Now I'm going to go back to sulking and will update again in a few days.

Problems with my Head

My life has kind of sucked the last few days. Basically anything that could go wrong, has. I know, I'm more moody then a girl with a bad case of PMS. I had a bit of a breakdown today, but things seem to be turning around.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning with horrible stomach cramps. I couldn't do anything but lay curled in a ball and whimper in pain. Eventually, I got sick, and felt better. I fell back to sleep for a few more hours before I had to get up for work.

More than anything, I wanted to take a sick day today. Unfortunately, we're so short staffed that I basically have to be dead before I'm able to take a day off. At work today, I managed to hit my head, not once, not twice, but three times on open cage doors. It seemed like every time I stood up I hit my head on something. Since I now have 3 minor concussions, I couldn't take a nap after work like I wanted to. Instead, I decided to go shopping for jeans for the third day in row.

God love the Buckle. They always make my day better when I go there. I told them what I wanted, went to the dressing room, and let them bring the clothes to me. I found a couple pairs of ridiculously overpriced jeans and bought them. When I checked out, they gave me punches for $70 more then I spent on my frequent buyer card. That's what I call customer service.

Once again, my close friends at the Buckle managed to save the day for me. Friday will bring green beer and the opportunity to wear jeans that make me have an orgasm every time I see them. My week is starting to turn around.

I'll be Back

I'm in a bad mood and don't feel like updating my blog. When my mood changes, I'll write again. It may be tonight, it may be in a few weeks. I don't know.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Mud and Happiness

Yesterday started off routine enough for me. For personal reasons, last night was one of the most exciting nights I've experienced. I won't go into that though, just thought I would give a little teaser into how happy I am right now. I went to work last night, and was one of the last people to leave. There had been a concert, and the truck that holds all the equipment for the show was blocking the entire drive when I went to leave.
One of my friends and another random car had decided to drive through the grass to get around the truck. Since it had rained all day, it wasn't the best option they had. Both cars were stuck in the mud.
I couldn't really leave my friend stranded, so I offered to help push her out. I'm not really strong, so I didn't have any luck. We called some more people to come help.
As we were waiting for the reinforcements to arrive, Deena and I were watching the other people try to get unstuck. I didn't know those people so I felt no obligation to help.
As we were watching, a lady who was all dressed up, was trying to push while someone else was flooring the car. Not only was there mud flying everywhere, but the lady lost her footing and feel face first into the mud.
I'm such an ass because I just stood there and laughed. Eventually the other people showed up, and both the cars were pushed to safety. I went out to the bar for a little while, and had a very confusing, yet uplifting time. That's all I'll say about it.
Remember, when it's been raining, grass is never a safe place to drive. If you're dressed up, don't try to push your car out of the mud, it will never end well. Most importantly, if something embarrassing happens, make sure I'm not around, because it will end up on my blog.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Kids in America

Wow, that picture is huge. Whatever, it happens. I rented this movie tonight. To be honest, the only reason I wanted to see it was because Nicole Richie is in it. I'm a huge fan of The Simple Life, what can I say?

I love how she gets billing in this movie and has a tiny part in it. She's probably in about 5 minutes of the movie total. So sad.

This movie is so stereotypical. It deals with protesting high school issues. The main characters range from cheerleader, to hippie. Each character portrays everything you would expect from a stereotype.

The story line of the movie didn't really satisfy my desire to see a movie with a great plot and good acting, but it entertained. By entertained; I laughed at the acting that was the equivalent to a high school stage production. Loved it.

The only redeeming aspect of the movie was the credits. During the credits, there were interviews with people the story was based on. There was a girl who was expelled from her school because she dreamed about killing a teacher and wrote it in her diary which was seized under the patriot act. The person who wore a shirt that said Barbie is a lesbian, and someone else who was suspended for wearing condoms on their clothes to promote safe sex.

If nothing else, the movie made me wish I had been more willing to take a stand in high school. Of course, I never did and just followed the crowd, like everyone else. I wish I could go back and cause all sorts of controversy. I could cause so many problems with my little conservative Lutheran private high school if I were a student there today.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Irish Idiot

My stupid computer won't let me upload a picture tonight. I hate technology. On a lighter note, St. Patrick's Day is rapidly approaching. I thought I would spend my night telling you how much I loved this holiday growing up. I don't know why I always bore people with stories of my childhood, but it makes me happy to relive them.
I'm not really Irish, but my parents always made St. Patrick's Day a big deal. I thought leprechauns were real until I was about 12. Yes, I'm that stupid. My parents encouraged it though.
Everything would be turned green on St. Patrick's Day. My parents would make green ice, turn the ice green, and even put green food coloring in the faucet so the water would be green the first few times you would turn it on. We also shit green for a few days after, but it was well worth it.
Every year, my parents would hide candy around the house on St. Patrick's Day. They told us the leprechauns did it. The candy was some nasty spearmint gummy crap, but I loved it when I was younger. I would spend hours searching the house for these nasty candies.
My parents also told us that if you could find a leprechaun, they would grant you three wishes. If you blinked once you saw one, it would disappear. I have vivid memories of walking around on St. Patrick's Day literally holding my eyes open so I wouldn't be forced to blink. It's no wonder my eye sight is as great as it is today.
We had two leprechauns who visited our house every year. Mickey and Sean. There were others that came on and off, but those were the two constants that I remember my parents talking about. We would write notes to them, and my parents would write very small writing.
As I got older and realized just how incredibly stupid I was for wasting my time all those years. My mom found it hard to let go of the St. Patrick's Day traditions. It would be kind of embarrassing to open my bookbag in high school on St. Patrick's Day and have some candy fall out, or a note from Mickey. I of course had to explain to my friends, who just didn't understand why I was holding a note from an imaginary leprechaun.
I may have been dumb, but my parents were geniuses. For one day a year, they were able to occupy 8 kids by having them look for little green men and write notes to them.
To this day, I don't really talk about St. Patrick's Day with my parents. Of course I know my parents were behind all the green festivities, but I don't really want to talk about how they went through all the trouble of hiding candy while we were sleeping or trying to find all the notes we left all over the house so they could respond to them. Part of me likes to believe in the leprechauns still. Should I go to counseling for this?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Life is Like a Big Kick in the Balls

I've had one of those days. One of those days when nothing seems to go right. In retrospect, nothing has gone too terribly askew, but it's just been a pain in my ass.

On my way to work this morning, I contemplated stopping for gas. Even though I had left the house earlier then usual, I decided to wait and get it on lunch. I spent too much of my lunch updating my blog for all of you, and didn't have enough time to stop and get gas. No worries, I figured I could get gas after work. In the time between going back to work and getting out of work, gas prices jumped about 20 cents a gallon. Gotta love our economy.

I was supposed to work till about 5 today. I didn't get out till after 7. True enough, I was paid for those 2 hours, but since I'm always scheduled for more then 40 hours in a week, I need to cut hours to begin with, and starting the week with two extra hours to cut always sucks. It basically means that I'll be rushed all week long in hopes of being able to take an extra half hour on lunch so I don't get overtime.

I had two videos I needed to return after work. I stopped at home to pick them up and drop them off before I made dinner. As soon as I dropped the movies in the return slot, I realized that I never taken North Country out of the DVD player. I had to go inside and ask for the empty case back so I could go home and get the movie and then actually return it. The girl looked at me like I was mildly retarded.

I got home from returning the movie, the second time, and decided to make dinner. I had something specific in mind and was really excited to eat it. Of course I didn't have everything I needed. I couldn't decide what was worse, going to the store, or making something else. Since I was in a bad mood and just wanted something good out of the day, I decided to go to the store. It was after 9 before I could even start to make dinner. I hate days like this.

I Wet Myself

Saturday morning, I woke up with a fever and a cold. Nothing too serious, just enough to make me feel like crap. After work, I decided to take a nap. I felt a little better. When I woke up yesterday morning, I felt sick again, so I took another nap. When I woke up, I was starving because I hadn't eaten in 2 days since I didn't have any appetite while I was sick.

I took this to be a good sign. If you're hungry again, you must be feeling better. I went to rent some videos and get some food. As I was standing in line at the video store, I started shaking since I was so weak. I realized I should probably eat asap.

I spent the entire day laying on the couch, eating. It was glorious. By the time the Oscar's came on, I felt like my old self again, only congested. I figured I had gotten over my fever and everything was back to normal.

I went to bed last night and everything still felt normal. No chills, no weakness, no sweating. I figured my fever had broke slowly during the day since I was randomly sweating a few times during North Country.

I woke up to the grossest experience today. I was completely wet. I'm not talking damp, but soaked. You could have rung sweat out of my clothes they were so wet. Apparently my fever hadn't broken yet, and it did at some point last night. I've had fevers break before and been fairly well moistened, but never like this. I seriously don't know how I lost as much fluid as I did without becoming dehydrated. Gross.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Three Questions

Did anyone see this movie? Don't lie, I know you did. Second, how many of you were motivated to write a list of things to do before you die after seeing this movie? Third, how many of you actually are going to admit to me that you wrote the list after watching this movie and actually think I'm not going to call you out on my blog about it? I love you Noland.

Things To Do

I had the day off today, and had huge plans to do a whole bunch of things I have been avoiding for the last few weeks. As luck would have it, we got a ton of snow last night, and I didn't feel like driving through it. Instead, I spent the day reading and watching TV. Boring, but a much needed day of relaxation.
While I was making the transition from watching TV to picking up my book, I started thinking of all the things I really should be doing at that moment. That's when I remembered that I made a list of things I wanted to do before I die when I was in high school. I have no idea where I actually put the list, I'm sure it's in a landfill somewhere. I tried to remember what was on that list, and realized just how much I have to accomplish still before my time is up.
Here's what I remember:
1) Get a tattoo...did that one, twice.
2) Ride a bull...I rode a mechanical one once, and I consider that close enough. I have a scar from that, so I'm not doing the real thing.
3) See the 7 natural wonders of the world...Amanda don't even think about writing a post about the picture of me at the Grand Canyon.
4) Drive in a demolition derby.
5) Skydive
6) See an endangered species in its natural habitat..saw a bald eagle catch a fish over a lake this summer. Not sure if bald eagles are endangered still or not, but for the sake of my list, I'll say they are.
7) Visit all the continents
I have a long way to go. Anyone willing to fund any of my goals, feel free to send me some money. If you don't have my address, you can email me, my email address is available on my profile, and I'll send it to you. Thanks.

You Light Up My Life

Amanda makes my life a little brighter. Seriously, I don't know what I did before I was friends with her. The reason I'm writing her praises today is because I got a card in the mail from her.

Most of my friends understand where I'm coming from with this. Amanda always sends cards for no reason other then she sees a card that she likes and decides to send it. There's nothing more exciting then getting a card in the mail. Better yet, getting a card when you aren't expecting one.

So Cricket, thanks.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I Hate How I Look

I've never understood why it's okay to make derogatory comments about people who are skinny, but making them against the overweight is so socially unacceptable. I'll joke with my friends about being completely underweight, and have no problem with the comments they make. Complete strangers have no rite to say anything about what I look like.
I think I would be so much happier if I weighed about 20 pounds more. I would love to be an average weight, so people didn't feel the need to comment on what I look like. I had my obligatory anorexia comment recently.
I wish people would realize how much it affects me when they point things like that out to me. I've spent the whole day thinking about how I need to eat more, and being self conscious wondering if everyone who looked at me thought I had an eating disorder. I'm not normal, I know.

No Longer a Virgin

Last night, in celebration of Mardi Gras, I gave up my pub crawls. The question I have for myself is, why? Not why did I go out last night, but why have I never done a pub crawl before?

I actually wasn't going to go out last night. My boss asked me at work if I was going to go out for Fat Tuesday. I thought this was an odd question because she knew I had to work all day today. She was honestly surprised and sounded a little disappointed when I told her I wasn't going to. Twist my arm, I'll go.

I ended up getting dressed and ready to meet a few people at the bar. I decided I should stop and buy some beads before getting to the bar. I couldn't find any anywhere, and since I didn't really like what I was wearing, I stopped at the mall and bought a new shirt to change into. I'm a mess.

For the price of a pub crawl ticket, your first drink was only $1.50 at every bar, you didn't have to pay cover charges, and you got a free string of beads at every bar. I love a deal. More so, I love to participate in things. I don't know what it is, but I felt like I was part of some exclusive VIP club.

My favorite parts of the night were when my sister whispered to me, "I don't want to be mean, but I think that girl may be the ugliest person I've ever seen." It's when things like that happen that I know I was born into the right family. Having my younger brother send a picture of his fiancee mooning my sister and me to MJ's phone, and trying to get beads from the bartender at Retro Rocks.

The beads at Retro Rocks was actually the highlight of the night. We were feeling pretty good by the time we got there. Like I said, you got free beads at every bar, but most of the time, you ended up getting a ghetto strand. They had nice ones at all the bars if you bought your ticket from them. After Molly lied and ended up with 4 strands of beads from Retro Rocks, instead of the one strand she was supposed to get, we decided to go for the good beads.

We tried to make friends with Trevor, the bartender, and get beads from him. He wouldn't give them out though. Bastard. I went to one of the other bartenders and tried to get beads from her, and she wouldn't give them to me. Molly tried to get some boys to give her their beads. She was somewhat successful, I guess. They threw her some beads, which hit her in the face, but they were more of the ghetto beads, and not the cool ones we were after.

I told Molly to stop being a pussy and flash the bartender. She wouldn't do it, so I offered to flash him. I wanted the beads. She told me she didn't think it was a good idea. I still think it would have been. I mean, I would have gotten the beads, and Mardi Gras is all about getting drunk and trashy, so it would have been okay.