Thursday, August 31, 2006

What's That?

I have a habit of not washing my jeans after every wearing. They don't get too dirty since I don't normally wear them for too long. I also don't empty out the pockets after each wear, which makes for some interesting finds from time to time.

Today after work, I went out to eat with one of my coworkers. As I wrote a few days ago, my uniform is hideous, so I brought a change of clothes with me. Apparently the jeans were dirty, but I couldn't remember if I washed them after I wore them last.

I was talking with my boss after work today, when I picked up my jeans so I could get changed. I heard something fall out of the pocket and hit the floor. We both looked down casually to see what it was. It was the top of a beer bottle.

For a second, we both acted like we hadn't seen it. Then, she started laughing at me. I was so embarrassed. I'm bringing alcohol memorabilia to work with me. The sad thing is, I don't even remember where it came from. Possibly the pool party I went to a few weeks ago, but I didn't think I was wearing those jeans at the time.

Everyone I work with already thinks I'm an alcoholic. This just adds fuel to the fire. I know that stories will spread about me, and they will be exaggerated. By tomorrow night, people will have heard that an empty 6 pack fell out of my pants and I was drunk. Oh the humanity.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I No Longer Have Dignity

I consider myself to be quite fashionable. I'm always abreast with the latest fashions and styles. I'm not really, but that's okay. I like to make sure I look presentable though.
The problem I'm having currently is with my job. About a year ago, the corporate office decided to change our uniforms. What was once a solid blue scrub top was replaced by a blue print that has paw prints, children, dogs, cats, rabbits, and a bird that looks like a cross between an owl and a hawk. It is by far, the ugliest thing I have ever seen. I couldn't find a picture online, and I don't want to take a picture of my shirts, so the only visual you get is my description.
Anyhow, when the change was enforced, I refused to wear the new top. I would show up to work in my old one and go about business like always. At one point, I had a talk with my bosses about it. They wanted me to wear the new clothes; I threatened to quit if they made me. Since it wasn't an idle bluff on my part, they came with a compromise. I could wear my old scrubs. It really wasn't a compromise at all since I got what I wanted out of it, and they got nothing in return, but it makes me sound less harsh to refer to it as a compromise.
We recently hired in a new staff member. It seems we're always hiring new people in because no one sticks around for long. I have my theories as to why that is, but I won't get into it. The problem this time around is that they hired a male. In the history of the clinic, I'm the only male who has worked there, until now.
I was called into a short meeting last week and told that since the old scrub tops were no longer being made, they had to order the ugly new ones for him. The deal we made a year ago was void, and I was expected to wear the uniform. I reminded them of my vow to quit before I would wear it, but I think they want me gone because they didn't budge.
I still wasn't too concerned. I just wouldn't wear the new shirts. They can't make me change after I get there if I have nothing to change into. They know me too well. Monday morning, I went to work in my normal scrubs. They had extra shirts waiting there for me and made me change into one. Of course they all thought it was funny to see me wearing puppies and kittens all over my torso, but I'll have the last laugh when I get a new job over it. They made the mistake of thinking that I'm not vain enough to leave a job over ugly uniforms.

Monday, August 28, 2006

A Not so Routine Shower

Saturday started out as any other for me. I went to work, and smelled nasty by the time I got home. Typical when you work with dirty animals. I wanted a shower, but I decided to take a nap first.

I woke up just as it started to storm. I normally don't have any problems taking a shower when there's a storm, but I thought better of it this time. I didn't feel like getting electrocuted that day.

The storm was a big one, and we lost power. Lightening hit just outside my house. It was so exciting. I could actually feel the energy rush from it when it hit because I was near a window at the time, safe, I know.

The storm blew over eventually, and I got in the shower. Mind you, we had been without power for a good half an hour at this point. No sooner had I put shampoo in my hair, did the smoke alarms start to go off.

I thought seriously about getting out of the shower to make sure there wasn't a fire for about 2 seconds before I decided I didn't want to be stuck outside with shampoo in my hair if there was, so I rinsed it out first. By that point, it was only logical for me to condition my hair before I got out. A good two minutes later, I was ready to grab a fire extinguisher and investigate.

As it turns out, it's a good thing I didn't get out sooner. There was no fire. I'm assuming there was a short somewhere in the wire and it set the alarms off. The problem was that not only was the noise driving me crazy, but the poor dogs were whining because it hurt their ears. I decided to take all the alarms down so they would stop.

Here I was, wearing nothing but a towel, my feet still wet, climbing on a chair trying to get the smoke alarm off the ceiling. I couldn't figure out how to actually detach the plug from it though. I now was holding it 2 inches from my ear, as it continued to scream at me.

I gave up. Luckily for me, about an hour later, they stopped. My hearing hasn't completely recovered yet from it.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Whores at the Bar

Last night we had a midnight show. It was decided that we were going to do a photo call at 9. Okay, the photo call didn't really start till almost 10 because, well, a certain cast member decided to show up half an hour late, but that's beside the point. We were in full makeup and costume 3 hours before the show started.

We finished with pictures a little before 11, and had nothing to do. We decided to do what any person dressed like a cheap whore would, and walked to the bar. That's right, if you're going to be half naked on stage, you may as well be drunk while you do it.

I was a little worried as we walked down the road that we might be stopped by the cops. As luck would have it, there were no police patrolling the road as we walked. It was a little scary, not knowing how the rest of the bar would react to us, but we were in a large group, so I figured it would be okay.

I didn't have to pay the cover charge, possibly because the bouncer thought the girls in our group were hot and easy. Whatever the reason, I wasn't about to complain. We walked in, and everyone turned to look at us.

It was pretty fun actually. Most people figured we must be in a show somewhere, so a few people came up to ask us about it. They thought it was really funny that we were dressed like that out in public. Not everyone took so kindly to us though.

One of the girls had to use the bathroom. She walked in mid-conversation between two people already in there. They were talking trash about us, saying we looked like whores and were going to complain to the bartenders.

Let everyone know that Noel plays and sings at basically all the bars on that road, and if you're going to try to get her kicked out of a bar, good luck. Plus, she isn't one to let you talk trash about her or her friends. She said she went off on them. She told them we were doing a show in an hour and wanted to drink, just like everyone else there. At least we had an excuse for looking that way, unlike most of the people in the bar who were just hoping to get laid when they got dressed that night in skimpy clothes.

Overall, it was a good time. We didn't really have a lot of time to stay and drink, so that was a bit of a disappointment. Although, when you're doing shots and have beer back at the theatre, you don't really need to hang out at the bar for too long.

Another Child Star Gone Bad

Perhaps he sees dead people because he's been smoking the marijuana too much. Seems that Haley Joel Osment had a rough night about a week ago. I just read in People that he was charged with a DUI and possession of some mary jane. Oops. His blood alcohol was over twice the legal limit too.

I love stories of child stars gone bad. They're so easy to find.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Last Weekend

This weekend is the last weekend of my show. If you haven't seen it yet, you should come. If you have seen it, you should come again.

Whenever I do a show, I'm ready for it to be done by the time it ends. I may be a little sad about it, but I'm always ready to get on with my life. I can't say that about this show.

I hated this show when we first started doing it. Now, I don't want it to end. I've had so much fun on it. How often do you get to run around half naked on stage...okay, I've had to do it in a few shows. I love that all we have to do is act like horny little perverts, and I get to hang out with my friends every night.

I've made a few new friends during this show, and it's sad to know I probably won't see them too often after I'm done with the show. It's almost time to retire my thong, and I'm not ready to do it yet.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Earlier in the week last week, I was asked if I could pick up some props for the show. I'm one of the few cast members who lives in Bay City, so the director asked me to go to the health department and get some condoms. I decided there was no harm in it, and it may make for an interesting blog post, so what did I have to loose? Probably my dignity.

First of all, condoms at the health department aren't free. I know, who knew? I did before I got there because I was told how much they would be. It was close to closing time, and I figured I could pay with a credit card, so I didn't stop to get cash.

When I got there, I wasn't sure where to go. I stopped at the front desk and told them I had an order for condoms. The lady told me that I'm not able to order condoms, so I must be mistaken. I tried to tell her that since I was picking up such a large quantity, an order had been placed. About half way through the sentence, I realized just how bad it sounded, so I tried to explain more. I said I was doing a show, and I needed them for that. She looked at me really funny, no doubt wondering what type of "show" needs 10 dozen condoms.

Anyhow, they finally told me where to go in the building, but when I got there, I was told I would have to pay cash. I apologized for not having any and said I would be back the next day.

When I arrived the next day, I went into the office again. I told the lady I had a package to pick up and gave the last name. She looked at me like I was a slut who was abusing the system. As she went to grab them for me, I looked around the waiting room. Never before have I felt so classy. There was a 15 year old girl there, fighting with her boyfriend in the middle of the lobby, and two older people with bad 80's perms loudly complaining about how long it was taking to get the test results.

My package arrived, and I was more then a little disappointed to see my rubbers were in a paper bag. I wanted to walk out holding them for all to see. I secretly wished I would run into someone from my church, and rumors would spread. Instead, I walked out discreetly, and no one knew what was going on.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I'm Back

I apologize to everyone for my blogging absence the last week or so. You know you've taken on too much when your shortest day of the week only requires 14 hours of working and rehearsing. Alas, I got through it, and am now able to update my blog the next few days.
Rocky Horror opened on Thursday night. There was an article in the paper promoting the show, and my boss happened to see it. I had intentionally not mentioned the show to anyone I work with because I didn't want them to see it. She asked me if I was going to go see it, and I had to come clean and tell her I was actually in it.
I didn't really think it would be a big deal. I've worked there for 4 years, and they've never seen a show that I'm in. Of course they would pick this show to be the one to support me in. I tried my best to talk them out of it. I explained my costume, the premise, and things I had to do on stage. I should have known better, because that only made them want to see it that much more.
Saturday night, we had a midnight performance, and I knew they were there. Five beers later, I had worked up enough courage to get myself on the stage in costume. I realized the show was trashy, but it wasn't until I knew people in the audience, that I realized just what a whore I am in it.
There's a scene where I'm on all fours, sticking my bum in the air and wiggling it around at the narrator, before he sits on me and whips me. I wanted to die before doing that. I knew I would never live this show down at work.
They told me today that they liked it, but I'm not able to look anyone in the face anymore. Next time I do a show, I will think about the potential consequences before I agree to do it.

Saturday, August 12, 2006


In preparation for my trashy costume, I decided I needed to buy a thong. I wanted some extra support, as well as a little added security should there happen to be a wardrobe malfunction during the show. Being the fashionista that I am, I figured that a thong would be ideal so I wouldn't have to worry about panty lines. I went to Lover's Lane again yesterday to browse through their selection.

I purchased a nice black thong from them. It wasn't till after I got home, that I realized it was a stripper's thong. That meaning there is velcro on the sides so you can rip it off. Hot as it may sound, it is really uncomfortable; think velcro digging into the skin around your hips while dancing, and I realized I couldn't use it. Lover's Lane has a strict no return policy, so I was stuck with it. I'm sure it will come in handy sometime.

I had the day off today, so I decided to go shopping for a thong again. I went to the mall to peruse the selection of the department stores. Let me just say, I was embarrassed beyond belief. It's one thing to go into Lover's Lane to get a thong(they carded me by the way, I love that I'm 24 and still get carded going into an adult store), but it's another to be at Marshal Fields and getting one. My face was red the entire time.

I found a nice black thong without any velcro and brought it up to the fragrance counter, since I needed to get more cologne. While I was waiting in line, I noticed that they were giving out $10 off coupons if you purchased something. I figured I would get my cologne and use the coupon at a different counter and save the money.

It wasn't till after I was checked out that the sales associate told me that the coupon wasn't good until tomorrow. I have a tech rehearsal all day tomorrow with a full dress, so I was out of luck. I ended up having to say, "Oh, I forgot about this, can you ring it up too?" As I handed her my thong. I was mortified.

Later in the day, I was proud of my purchase and showed it to Samantha, one of my fellow cast members, as we were on a beer run for the cast. She grabbed it from me and held it out the window for all the world to see.

Friday, August 11, 2006

There's Always Next Time

As I wrote earlier in the week, I got to have a private audition for The Wizard of Oz. I guess knowing that I was going to be getting a call, I should have prepared something, but for whatever reason, I didn't.

Yesterday, I was at work and checked my phone for messages on break. There was a message from the Pit asking if I could make it there at 6. I was working till 6, so I called and let them know I would be a few minutes late, but I would be there. I left work a few minutes early, and sang through my old stand by audition song while driving.

I arrived, and filled out my audition form. My voice is exhausted from rehearsing and lack of sleep in general, so I knew the audition would be a little rough. That kind of scared me because I know that of acting and singing, singing is my stronger talent by far. I didn't have any music with me, so I got to sing acapella...not really sure how that's spelled, and I know spell check won't catch it.

I was able to hit all the notes, but it was a strain for some of them, and you could hear the mucus rattle with my vocal chords. I probably should have warmed up a bit before getting there. Too late for that.

I went to rehearsal, and got a phone call while I was there asking me to come back tonight for a call back. I was a little surprised, but was willing to give it a go.

Both rehearsal and call backs started at 6 tonight. I let the director of Rocky know I would be a little late, and prepared for call backs by taking a nap today. When I got there, we were told we would have to sing a song from the show, and do readings from the script.

For those who don't know, I have a hard time reading out loud. I don't really know why. I'm perfectly competent as a reader, but when I have to read out loud, I stumble all over words and make a fool of myself. After being there for almost an hour, I was told that I was going to need to do a reading.

There were about 10 people who were asked to read parts from that section of the script. I got my copy and was about to start reading it, when the director told me I was the first one to go. Great. I did the best I could to develop a character out of a section of a show when I had no idea what was going on. It didn't work too well.

He asked me to read it again after everyone else had read, and by that point in time, I didn't even care anymore. I knew I had blown any chance of getting a decent role in the show. I read through it with a little more gusto then the time before. A few minutes later, I reminded the director I had to leave to get to my rehearsal. I figured, what's the use of staying when I'm not going to be cast. I left, and will not be waiting for a call from them.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Ahhh, So Nice

I'm too tired to look for a picture to go with this post, so you get no visuals. This may be the cheesiest thing I ever write, but deal with it.
There's nothing better to me then when you have a crush on someone and find out they like you too. The awkward transition period is so much fun. Everything is new and somewhat taboo. That's where I am right now, and I love it. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? Honestly, who cares. At this point, I don't. I'm just happy, and that doesn't happen very often.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I Missed It

I had big plans for this year, well, at least as far as doing shows is concerned. Rocky Horror, The Wizard of Oz, and Cabaret were all shows on my to-do list. It looks as though I may not be able to do all as I planned.
Auditions for The Wizard of Oz were last night and tonight. I planned to go audition after rehearsal tonight and amaze the director with my amazing song choice, although I didn't have a song picked out. Things don't always go as planned.
I wanted to be a flying monkey. Okay, I keep telling people that's the role I want, and I think it would be fun, but I would really rather be the scarecrow. The fact that I'm allergic to straw and can't dance aside, I would be great in that role. I'm limber, skinny, and ugly. It was a part I was born to play.
I got out of rehearsal, and a few of my cast mates and I decided to drive the 4 blocks down the street to audition. Auditions were over by the time we got there, and we weren't able to get in. Everyone had gone home for the night.
Before you all are overcome with shock, there is a possible happy ending to the story. The director of the show I'm in right now is friends with the man directing The Wizard. She told me she would call him and get me an audition. I feel so special. A private audition. What should I wear?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

My Hidden Talents

A few years ago, I developed a talent that I believe is becoming a lost art. I learned how to crochet. That's right, I can crochet with the best of the grandmas of the world. Before you judge me and make fun of me for it, let me just tell you how much I love to do it.

I had a hard time learning the proper way to crochet. I'm left handed, and my brother in law's mom, who tried to teach me one night(I don't remember why), is right handed. I couldn't figure it out. I was left out while everyone else made lines of crocheted yarn. I went home, and my mom, who is also left handed, taught me what to do.

It became an obsession with me for awhile. I would make blankets, scarves, even beer cozies for 40's(yes, I'm that talented). After awhile, the demand from family and friends asking me to make them something became more then I could handle, so I gave it up for awhile.

I took it back up just long enough to make a blanket for myself about a year later. The funny thing was, of all the things I made, I never kept anything for myself. I love that blanket, but it's time for a new one.

Once my schedule lets up some, I plan to make a new blanket. I'll post pictures when it's done, but it won't be for a long time. People don't understand the time it takes to make something so beautiful.

More importantly, the act of crocheting is something that I relish. It's very tedious, and your mind is able to wander as you do it. I love it. There's nothing better for calming yourself after you're stressed. I think everyone should learn how to do it.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Theatre etiquette

I hate when I'm rehearsing a show, and someone decides to bring a friend along to rehearsal with them. When you're still developing your character, learning music, or choreography, there shouldn't be people not involved with the show around. You end up making a fool of yourself during rehearsals a lot, and you don't want people to witness it. True, the rest of the cast is there watching and listening, but they all go through the same thing as you, so it isn't a big deal.
Tonight, someone brought a friend along. I was not happy about it. I would have said something to him about it, but in the 3 and a half hours we spent learning choreography tonight, I really didn't have much of a chance.
Granted, none of us have had much time for a social life the last few weeks because we rehearse 6-7 nights a week. Bringing someone to rehearsal could be an opportunity to spend some time together. The cast should have been asked before someone was brought in. Don't be fooled, I would have said no if I was asked, but we weren't, which is just poor manners. I'm still a little pissed about it if you can't tell.

Sunday, August 06, 2006


I've known Dustin for about 5 years now, and he's one of my all time favorite people. I would love him more if he continued to blog, but he gave it up not so long ago. Oh well, no one is perfect.
Anyhow, I just wanted to write a post about him because he sent me a text tonight letting me know he's going to see Kelly Clarkson. I love her. If only I was in Seattle right now, I would have been there too.
Dustin has helped me through a lot of rough times in my life, and I thank him for it. He'll be moving to New York in a few short months, and I have no doubt that I'll be seeing him on Broadway in the near future. He promised to leave me a voicemail tonight of Kelly singing, so I can't wait to check my messages in the morning.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

In a Hurry

I've never claimed to be a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the most impatient people you will ever meet. I'm not rude, it's just that between working 2 jobs and rehearsing a show, I tend to put in at least 70-80 hours a week. Time is very precious to me.

There is nothing worse to me then making small talk with a stranger. Yes, I'm glad that someone is friendly and feels the need to make conversation, but I'm not going to stick around and finish a conversation about unimportant things if I don't know you. It's just odd.

Yesterday, I had to get gas between work and rehearsal. I'm a freak about making sure I get to places on time; I hate to wait for other people, so I do all I can do to make sure no one is waiting for me. Anyhow, I was in a time crunch, like usual, when someone pulled up to the pump next to me.

He was very nice, and started to make small talk about the weather. Very generic, but polite, none the less. Since I had to wait for my tank to fill, I figured there was no harm in talking. He started asking me questions though that made me feel a little awkward, and I wished I was able to leave.

To be honest, whenever I speak to a stranger, I make up lies. It's actually kind of fun to make up a scenario about what I do and where I'm off to. The person doesn't need to really know the intimate details of your life, so I figure there's no harm in it. What irks me is when I'm stuck finishing my lies when I'm in a hurry.

I tried to make it obvious that I needed to go by putting the cap back on my gas tank and getting my keys out of my pocket. Subtlety was lost on him, so I ended up cutting him off mid sentence saying, nice to talk to you, I've got to go.

I wish people would just realize that I'm stuck up and don't want to talk to them. I don't care about the small details of their lives, anymore then I'm sure they care about me. To me, being polite is simply ignoring the stranger near you and letting him or her carry on with their life without interruption.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Happy August everyone. I was informed of some very exciting news tonight. It seems that August is canned beer month. I don't know if this is a national thing, or something my friends made up. In either case, enjoy your beer of choice for the next 31 days, just be sure it comes from a can.