Sunday, July 29, 2007

I'm Going Mad

My show opens in less then 3 weeks. Normally at this point, I'm honing my character and tweaking my performance. Not so much this time. I have NO IDEA how to do this character. People give me ideas, but I just can't get them to come through, and it's really frustrating me. I need help, and I need it quick.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of sitting for an hour or so, trying to think of characterizations I want to use, or how I want the character to develop. I've spent the last 2 days thinking about this, and I'm not coming up with any ideas. I think I'm at the point now where I'm so stressed, I am blocking anything productive from coming into my mind. Not good.
I was thinking the other night that I should get high and see how I act(I'm doing Reefer Madness, if I haven't written that in a previous post FYI). I didn't, but it's seeming as though that may be the road I need to take. Not the best decision, but I don't know what else to do. Oh the pains of being a bad actor.


Saturday, July 28, 2007


Tonight marked a summer tradition for me. I went to the demolition derby at the Munger Potato Fest. Yes, every summer, with the exception of last summer(for reasons I don't remember), I go to the demolition derby there. I'm so white trash at heart, I love it.
I'm not sure what it is about derbies; the danger, the mullets, the overpriced 6-packs, but something makes me love them. I wish there was one every weekend. Alas, there isn't, so I'm forced to have only one amazing weekend every summer.
I've come to realize that I suck when it comes to picking the winning car. In fact, if you're driving in a derby, and I pick your car to win, it pretty much guarantees a disqualification of ride in an ambulance.
This year's derby was the most action packed derby I've ever been to. First, one of the cars got stuck on the girder running along side the ring. Then, one of the drivers had to be taken out of his car with the jaws of life, and then, one of the cars flipped upside down. None of these things have ever happened when I've been to a derby before. For three major events to happen all in one night was amazing, and it made me realize I still have at least one life goal to achieve. I need to drive in a demolition derby before I die. I don't care if I don't win, I just want the excitement that goes along with it. I need sponsors though. Call me if you have any extra money. I'll spray paint your name on my car.

Friday, July 20, 2007

I Did Something Stupid

This week has sucked. Somehow, in the middle of July, I managed to get a cold and the flu. Only in my life. For those who are curious, I never did make it to karaoke on Sunday night. MJ and I stayed in instead. Lucky for me, because instead of having Monday off, I got called at 7:45 and asked if I could come in. Not so much fun when you're sick.
Anyhow, this morning, I was able to swallow as soon as I woke up, which was amazing since every other morning this week, it's taken 3-4 tries every morning since my throat is so swollen and sore. It put me in a good mood, which carried over into my drive to work.
I have a little bit of OCD, and give myself at least a 15 minute cushion when I need to be somewhere. I consider myself late if I don't show up at least 5 minutes early for something. Anyhow, I was sitting in my car, enjoying the frigid weather, when I thought I saw a dog running loose through one of the adjoining parking lots. It went behind trees, and I didn't see it again.
A few more minutes passed, and I figured I should get inside and get to work. I opened, so there was no one else there. As I got out of my car, one of the people who cleans our parking lot and does our lawn service pulled up and told me there was a dog running around in the other parking lot. The other parking lot is a good 200 yards away, and I really didn't have that much time to walk over there.
I asked if it was wearing a collar, and he said yes. I had hoped that it wouldn't have one on and then I wouldn't be able to identify the dog, so I could use that as my excuse to not get it. So much for that.
I hesitated, but was able to swallow, so I decided to go get it. The man must have noticed my hesitation, and offered to drive me over there. I'm not sure how I had such a large scale lapse in judgement, but I got into a car with a stranger. As soon as I did it, I realized I probably shouldn't have. Not that there was anything wrong with this person...okay, there kind of was, and I'm getting to that, but because ever since you're 6 months old, you're always told to never get into cars with strangers.
The guy started to drive me to where the dog was, and told me that it's big and mean. He knew it was mean because it growled at him. I knew it growled at him, not because he said, "the dog growled at me" but because the guy demonstrated what the dog sounded like by growling at me. I responded by moving closer to my door, to which he responded by locking them.
At this point I was feeling a little apprehensive about retrieving the dog. Not only was I likely to be mauled by it, but perhaps this man was going to bite me too. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket, ready to call anyone willing to save me.
We didn't see the dog in front of the store, so he drove around behind the store to look for it. I knew he was going to kill me back there and throw me into one of the drainage ditches. It would be hours before anyone found me, by which point I would probably be water logged and unrecognizable. He broke the awkward silence that followed his growling by telling me the stories he heard while waiting for his trial to begin when he was in court yesterday...he isn't a lawyer. I tried to feign interest, when really, I kept thinking, how did I allow myself into this mess? Part of me wanted to ask what he was on trial for, but another part of me said that I would probably be finding out soon.
We never did find the dog, and he drove me up to the front door and dropped me off, unharmed. I got inside, and realized that I have to be the dumbest person alive. Then I laughed. Mainly because I realized how judgmental and presumptuous I had been. Just because this person growled and me and had been in court the day before, didn't mean he was a bad person. Perhaps he just likes dogs, and was willing to let me get attacked by it, rather then be bit himself.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Just a quick update

My life hasn't been uber exciting the last few days, so this post won't be too specific to any one thing. Just a chance to catch everyone up on the events of my last few days.
I've been sick the last 2 days with problems you don't want details on. I'm finally able to stay away from the bathroom for more then a few hours at a time. Hurray for my tummy being back to normal.
I went to see Sicko today. It was a really good movie, at least, so I thought. I was the loser who went by himself. How embarrassing. The only bad part of the movie is that my nose wouldn't stop running. I'm not sure why. I don't have a cold, and I don't feel like my allergies are a problem right now. It was just gross.
My grandma is coming into town tonight. I plan to go to the bars later tonight since I don't have to work tomorrow. Let's just say there has been quite the fair share of family drama lately, and this visit may end up being a little intense. I'm already drinking wine in preparation.
Tomorrow, I begin rehearsals for my next show, Reefer Madness. I can't wait. Well, actually, I can. Long story that I probably shouldn't write about on my blog. I feel like such a tease. That's two different stories in one post that I won't give details on. Aw, I'm so considerate to some people.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

No Means No

What happens when no one says no though? Apparently, you can still get into trouble for sexual harassment. That's the lesson I learned yesterday at work. This is by far the most ridiculous thing that has happened to me in a long time.
I'm not saying that there shouldn't be laws against inappropriate comments and other things going on in the work place, I just think my work handled this completely wrong. I know all of you are thinking that I did something to get in trouble for sexual harassment, but you couldn't be more wrong. Actually, one of my coworkers got in trouble for sexually harassing me.
I'm fairly laid back. If I know someone is joking, I don't care what they say to me. I'll get a good laugh out of it too. She and I have a good relationship where we can joke around with each other. She never says anything in front of clients, and I've never complained. However, she was told that if she continues to say things, she may get fired.
Again, I understand that in certain cases, someone may feel bullied into saying that they don't mind that someone said something or did something and won't admit that they are uncomfortable, but this is obviously not the case with me. Also, no one even said anything to me about it before the meeting. I found out the next day from the poor girl who got in trouble. We both laughed when she told me, but that isn't the point. I actually thought she was joking when she told me, and she thought the bosses were joking when they reprimanded her. Who would have thought that this actually isn't a joking matter?
What really bothers me is that we all get along at my job and make comments that verge on being inappropriate. When you're friends with the people outside of work too, sometimes the lines blur a little. I just don't think it's fair for someone to get in trouble for something that everyone there has done at one time or another, and for them to make it look like I complained and that is why they had to say something.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


My best friend from high school's little sister got married on Friday. I wasn't invited to the wedding. I wasn't offended, but I was a little surprised. Jamie's family was like my extended family for a few years, and if for no other reason, I wanted to go and see Jamie, who had moved to China a few years ago.
I did what any self respecting person would do in this situation. I crashed the wedding. Well, not completely. See, my sister and her husband were both invited, and RSVP that they would both be there. Eric ended up not being able/wanting to go, so I went in his place. I know, it's kind of shady rationalization, but that's what I used to not feel bad about going to a wedding I wasn't invited to.
Anyhow, after getting there, I felt really bad and stupid. I wondered if my lack of being invited was actually intentional for something I may have done at some point and wasn't aware of. Thank god for the open bar. My sister told me that since the groom's family buys the alcohol, I shouldn't feel bad about drinking it, since it wasn't costing my friend's family anything.
I was by no means drunk, but I was having a good time. At one point, my sister and I left the reception to go outside and smoke. My mom was there too and decided to come out with us. For those who aren't related to me and don't know my mom, she is a goody-goody. She always tries to act like she doesn't ever do anything wrong. As were were walking out, I realized she was still holding her beer. I told her she can't bring it outside. She looked around for somewhere to put it down and I sighed. Sometimes, I just don't understand how she could have birthed me. I told her, you can bring it with you, you just have to hide it.
Outside, we ran into Jamie's cousins, whom I spent quite a bit of time with when I was younger. They were doing shots out of the back of a car. We joined them, and they warned us not to let security catch us, they had already been warned about drinking in the parking lot. A few seconds later, the security person came up to the car. I thought I was going to die laughing. My mom panicked. I seriously think she thought she may be going to jail if she got caught with her beer. Of course no one got into trouble. We were just told to put the alcohol back in the car(that of course seems safe).
We ended up leaving about an hour later. The party continued at my sister's house. My brother was in town for the wedding, and he came over with his wife and his wife's brother. I played beer pong for the first time of my life that night, and I realized that i have a natural talent for it. My brother's wife told me the secret to the game is to distract the other team when they're about to throw. I dropped my pants, but I did it too early, and they didn't mess up. They just laughed at me. We ended up losing, but not by much, which I considered a victory since my brother plays that game all the time.

Thursday, July 05, 2007


The end of February, I went to New Orleans. It was a magical trip, at least from what I remember. Anyhow, the last few days, I've been thinking about a specific night from when I was down there.
I don't really believe in fortune tellers, or any of the related spiritual advisers that are lumped in that group. For whatever reason, I decided to waste $20 dollars one night and get my cards done. I had never done it before, but I figured, why not?
I've heard before that people in this profession know what they're going to say about you as soon as you walk into the room. They're able to read your body language, asses your clothes, and listen to your voice and determine where you're from, your social class, and how your mood is by your stance. I walked in and attempted to be as nondescript as I could in everything I did and said, just to see what they would say.
As I expected, my reading was very generic. However, I kept it in mind since everything that was going to happen was going to take place in the next 6 months. I was just curious to see how much of it would come true.
Apparently, I would make lots of money and find true love. Well, I hate to bring down the mood, but it's been 4.5 months, and I'm not really making any more money then before, and love sure as hell hasn't come around me.
Has anyone else ever had their palm read or cards done? I'm just wondering if they always say the same things. Also, was it actually accurate for anyone?