Thursday, January 25, 2007


For some odd reason, I keep seeing commercials on TV for Vagisil. I've known about Vagisil for a long time, but for some reason, I noticed something odd about it yesterday. Am I alone in thinking the name of a product used on "special" feminine parts shouldn't have VAG in it?
It kind of grosses me out. I think they should rename it. Something like "My Special Flower-isil" would be so much better. I hate it when people say vag or worse yet, vagina. I refuse to say that word. It's so gross.
Everyone, try to think of a new name for Vagisil. Once a more suitable name has been picked, I will personally rally to get the name of it changed. Who's with me?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Congratulations Jennifer Hudson!

Actually, this post has nothing to do with Jennifer's Oscar nomination for Dreamgirls. I just didn't want to dedicate an entire post to it, so that's all the love I'm giving her.
Today after work, I went to the video store. Big shocker, there wasn't really anything worth renting. I ended up getting Saw 3. It was about as bad as the second one. If only someone had warned me before I wasted my time and money.
Anyhow, most of the people at the video store are on a first name basis with me. I got a new girl tonight when I was checking out though. She looked me up in the computer system, and gave me a weird look. She hesitated for a few minutes before asking if I was really Scott. I told her I was.
She looked at me kind of funny again and told me there is no way they have my age correct in the computer. I got kind of annoyed when she said that. I'm constantly having to tell people that I am indeed as old as I am, even though I look like I'm 12. It gets old, really fast. Anyhow, I decided to be nice and gave her my birthdate so she wouldn't be embarrassed. I'm so glad I didn't get snippy and tell her I'm older then I look, like I wanted to. According to the computer system, I'm 105 years old.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Step, Ball, Change

This weekend has been an exciting one in the Warnke household. My parents are getting hardwood floors put in. Basically, that means that the kids are all installing it for them. By the kids, I mean my brother in laws, while my sisters and I watch because I have no idea what to do. Power tools scare me, and I tend to make more work for everyone if I try to put the flooring down.
I was reduced to tearing up carpet for the majority of the time. Once my job was completed, we ran into a snag, and work was halted for about an hour, perhaps longer. The entire living room was nothing but the wood sub-floor. I decided to entertain.
I busted out my tap shoes to dance for my family. What I thought was funny, they found annoying. It doesn't help that I don't know how to tap, so I just kept stomping really loud and doing the same steps over and over.
I've decided to build my own dance studio in my house. I need somewhere to practice my tap dancing. That way, the next time someone needs their floor redone, I will be ready to entertain.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Keep Some Distance

Last night, I did something amazing. I chaperoned a dance for the 7th and 8th graders at my church. As if I wasn't feeling old enough as it is, being a chaperone just pushed me over the edge.
I remember when I used to go to those dances. I thought they were so much fun. No one really danced, except for an occasional slow song, but we thought we were so cool to be out on a Saturday night in a social setting. Drama always ensued, and I was ready to be the moderator for any fights that may break out.
Actually, there was no need for me to be there. I only had to break up one fight, and it wasn't even a fight. Two boys were goofing around kicking each other. It was all in fun, but I had to tell them to stop. I tried to act tough when I told them to knock it off, and they probably thought I was such an ass, but really, I couldn't have cared less if they started doing it again as soon as I walked away. I wonder if that's how the chaperones felt when I was at those dances. Thinking about that makes my head spin though.
I figured that by the end of the night, we would have to turn hoses on some of the couples during the slow dances. If you want to get pregnant, that's fine, but just don't do it when I'm responsible for you. Well, it turns out we had nothing to worry about. I was actually laughing at how the kids danced. If there was a couple slow dancing, they would stand an arms length apart. None of them would look at each other, and normally, there was a third person standing next to them, talking to them so there was a distraction and no real conversations were needed. Aww, young love.
By the second hour of the dance, I was ready to pass out from boredom. My sister and I decided to entertain ourselves and dance. They kept playing old school Britney, Backstreet Boys, and N'sync, songs from our high school days. We wanted to bust a move to them. We both walked out to the dance floor and stopped at the same time. We realized that we don't know how to dance, unless we dance dirty, which probably wouldn't be a good idea. We ended up walking off the floor without dancing.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Dancing Through Life

Typically, when I make my way to the dance floor, you can rest assured that I've had enough to drink. I hate to dance. Actually, I don't mind dancing, it's just that I don't have any talent when it comes to busting a move, so I sit and watch.
Last night, I went out with my sisters and a few friends. None of us had to work today, so why not? After 1.25 beers, we decided to switch bars. I knew that my sister wanted to go to the other bar to dance, and I wasn't too excited about it. After all, I wasn't drunk enough to dance, and I didn't want to be in a loud bar where you can't talk. I went anyway.
After being there for about 2 minutes, I decided to dance. I'm not really sure why. I had an amazing time though. Shannon and I made up some killer dance routines. Remind you to show them to you the next time you see me. No one else was on the dance floor but us, so we had room to rip it up.
Later in the night, when I actually was to the point that I didn't care anymore, Shannon tried to keep me on the dance floor by telling me that I actually am a good dancer. I laughed at her. I told her I knew what she wanted, and if she wanted me to continue dancing, I needed another beer.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Trashy Whore

In the last few weeks, I've become the person I've hated. Where have my morals gone? No, I'm not sleeping around. The thing is, every time I go out or meet someone who talks to me during the last few weeks, I think that they are interested. What is wrong with me? I need to realize that a friendly person isn't going to just offer up an invitation to go home. I need to go to bed, but I'm just so confused right now, and so is everyone that was out with me tonight.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

New Shoes

I spend most of my day on my feet. I'm forced to wear work issued shoes, which aren't the most comfortable things in the world. Due to this, I've become accustomed to wearing uncomfortable shoes. It's just part of my everyday routine to wear shoes that hurt. I'm not complaining, it's actually a great thing for me.
On Saturday, I went to the mall. There was a huge sale going on. My favorite store had an amazing pair of shoes for 75% off. I was willing to pay full price for them, so obviously the added bonus of them being on sale made me realize that God indeed wanted me to have the shoes.
The problem was that the pair on display was the last pair in the store. I'm not above wearing the display shoes. Spray a bunch of disinfectant in them, and you're good to go. The problem was that the shoes are 2 sizes smaller then what I wear. I tried them on anyway, and figured that since I've worn shoes more uncomfortable then those before, I would buy them.
After wearing them for a few hours, I no longer can feel my feet because they don't get any circulation, so it really doesn't matter. I wore them today and got my first compliment. I love my fashion sense.
When I wore them tonight, I wore them to audition for Cabaret. I wanted to look good, and I'm always willing to sacrifice my well being for clothing. However, when your audition is also having a dance audition, it's always a good idea to wear shoes that fit.
I came close to killing myself a few times. I'm not a dancer, and never pretend to be. Dancing becomes more difficult when you can't feel your feet. Also, the combination of movement and my rising body temperature, made my feet swell. To be honest, I'm not sure I can get the shoes off right now. Regardless, my feet looked amazing tonight.

Monday, January 08, 2007

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

I'm so excited. I got my tickets to go to New Orleans last night. In a month and a half, I'll be down south, enjoying the aftermath of Mardi Gras...or however it is spelled, French was never my best subject.
I was actually supposed to be down there for Mardi Gras, but since there were scheduling conflicts, my sister and I are going to get down there the day after it ends. I'm actually okay with that. I think the festivities may have been a bit much, even for me. I can't wait to get down there. I'll get to see my big brother again. Hurray!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

No Sticks

My dad got a new car this past week. Actually, it's a used car, but it's new to him. You know how that goes. Anyhow, my sister went out to lunch with my family yesterday, and she asked him about it. He gave her the keys and told her to try it out. The car was at the house, and so she thought, why not?
The problem is, the car is a stick. Molly kind of knows how to drive one, but hasn't done it in a long time. We decided to go for a ride together.
I got in the car, and she said, "This car is a piece of crap, it won't start." Mind you, I have no idea how to drive a stick, but I knew you have to put the clutch in to start it. I laughed and told her that. She tried again, and again, it didn't start. I looked over and she had the gas pushed all the way down. I couldn't stop laughing.
Finally, she figured out what pedal to use and the car started. She put it in reverse, and the car stalled out. We figured at this point, we probably shouldn't drive the car because she was going to ruin it. Instead of getting out, we decided to have one last go at it.
This time, we backed it up about 3 feet and got it into the middle of the drive way before it stalled. I told her just to leave it where it was and we would leave. She wanted to put it back where it was.
Literally, about 10 minutes later, she managed to move the car the three feet she had driven it, and we left it there. Later last night, Molly called my dad for something and went on and on about how much she loves the new car and how it drives great.

Friday, January 05, 2007

The Day That You Were Born

When I was a wee lad, my mom used to sing to me. She isn't the best singer in the world, but it never mattered. I still remember her singing to me when I was 3 and 4 years old. Perhaps that is where my love for singing comes from, but probably it isn't.
I hate it when I get a song stuck in my head. It's so annoying to be walking around having the same song repeating over and over in your mind. No matter what you do, you keep hearing it over and over.
For the last few weeks, I've been getting one of the songs my mom used to sing to me stuck in my head. I have no idea why. I haven't heard it recently. It will just pop in my head and stay there for a few hours. What's truly irritating about it is that I don't know the name of the song or who sings it, and I only know three lines of the song. Yes, for hours and hours, all that runs though my head is, "On the day that you were born, the angels got together, and decided to create a dream come true. So they sprinkled star dust(?) in your hair and...." That's where the song stops; abruptly after the word and. I don't know anything other than that. To be honest, I'm not sure if those are even the correct words and if I have the correct tune in my head.
If anyone knows the name of this song, and/or who sings it, let me know(I'm counting on you Amanda). I figure that if I have to have it stuck in my head, I should learn the whole song so that at least it doesn't repeat as frequently.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

'07 is Going to be My Year

I'm worried that people who are involved with this story may end up reading this post, so I have to keep it vague. If you want more details, give me a call or send an email.
By the year's end, things were going well for me. All the drama I had been going through was ending. I decided that this year, I'm going to have an amazing year and just let go of everything that has been bothering me, and start over.
Let me just be clear, the first hour and a half of this year was amazing. No stress or drama. That's how long it lasted though. An hour and a half. Again, can't go into details, but it's funny, in a sick sort of way. Sometimes I think life would just be easier without emotions.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Like a Dream

I saw Dreamgirls last week. I had been waiting for someone to be willing to go with me. Friday night, I decided I didn't care anymore. I would go by myself if I had to. Luckily, MJ decided she would go with me.
I LOVE Jennifer Hudson. She was one of my favorites during her season of American Idol. It pained me that she was voted off so early. She's got mad talent and proved herself to be a bigger star then the forgettable Fantasia who won that year(incidentally, Fantasia also auditioned for the role of Effie, and obviously was passed over for Jennifer).
I had read the reviews, and was expecting Jennifer to be great. I wasn't prepared for her though. Anyone who has heard her sing before, knows she has an amazing voice, but I wasn't sure she would be able to pull off her role.
She blew me away. Her acting was more then adequate. What really got me was her use of her voice and facial expressions when she sang. She put so much feeling into her songs it was almost unbelievable. In fact, when she sang And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going, I was completely enthralled and couldn't move. The entire audience actually burst into applause at the end of the song. It was unreal.
What to say about Beyonce? I loved to hate her in the movie. I don't know if that's what she was really going for, but her character just made me angry in the movie. How can she do that to her friend? Bitch. Although, her singing and acting just didn't compare to Jennifer.
Like Amanda said on her blog, if you're going to see this movie, you have to see it in the theatre. I'm worried it will lose some of its magic on the small screen.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

I know everyone has been upset with my lack of posts the last few weeks. I've just been busy and not in a creative mood. One of my resolutions is to update my blog more this year. More to come with that in the coming days. Hope everyone had a good New Year's Eve.