Saturday, December 08, 2007

Scabies

I appologize in advance to anyone who may think I'm making fun of their scabies infestations. I know it's not a laughing matter, I've been exposed many times through work...don't want to talk about it, but never had an outbreak. However, sometimes the simplest solution means making a fool of yourself.
I went out after my show last night. I'm not for picking someone up at a bar. I know, I'm too classy for my life. It just isn't something I'll ever do. I need to get to know someone before I'll start dating. However, I always get hit on at the gay bars. I don't understand it. I'm not really attractive, and I'm definitly not easy, so I don't know why I always find the trolls when I go there.
Last night, after my show, I went to the bar with a few friends. I had been there no more then ten minutes before someone came up to our table to let me know that his friend wanted to talk to me, but was too shy to do it. Aww, how sweet. A few minutes later, one of my other friends showed up, and when he was filled in on the drama that was starting to unfold, was able to correctly identify the "shy" boy who wanted me to talk to him. Nice try Josh.
Anyhow, Josh came over to talk to my friends while I was sitting there a few minutes later. All I wanted to do was have a night out singing karaoke with my friends. I wasn't looking for someone to go home with. I'm a good Christian boy, afterall. He introduced himself to me, like I didn't already know his name, and he didn't know mine already. Awkward, but whatever.
A few minutes later, I needed another beer. Katie and I went to the bar and left Brooke at the table. We were stuck in the line for a few minutes, and when I looked over to check on Brooke, I saw Josh talking to her. Great. She told me that he told her to put in a good word for him. She apparently told him I had just got out a long relationship and that I wasn't looking to get into another one at the time. When that didn't work, she tried to tell him that I was dating her. Signs of a good friend really.
When she told me what he had said, and explained her unsuccessful attempts to get him to leave me alone, I told her to tell him I just wasn't interested and that I have scabies if he talked to her again. It was a joke; the scabies aspect, that is. I should have known better.
A few minutes later, he came back to our table. I wish I could remember the conversation word for word, because I will always admire Brooke for her ability to bring up my scabies in a conversation, and making it work, without making it look like she was trying to scare someone off. She did it beautifully. The look on Josh's face made the entire night worth while. I scratched myself for effect. Josh ran away, and I thought everything was fine.
Turns out Brooke, or P.J. Sparkles, as her karaoke name was, was due to sing shortly after. She sang the classic Bonnie Rait(don't crucify me for spelling her name wrong) song, "I Can't Make You Love Me" and dedicated it to me. It was sweet and heartfelt, until the end. Something came over her, and she said, into the microphone, "I love you Scott, and the scabies."
Turns out all of Saginaw now thinks I have scabies...I don't, in case you're confused. I appreciated the effort. Not everyone will make up an STD for you to have in order to scare someone off. That's how you know who your true friends are.
At the end of the night, Josh came back to our table to say goodbye to everyone. Everyone, but me. He started to walk out, and I decided to have a little fun. I called his name, and said, "Josh, it was really good to meet you." He looked a little horrified, when I extended my hand to shake his, but since he was gloved, decided he was good to go. He didn't even ask for my number, which I don't understand. I mean, there is treatment for scabies.

2 Comments:

At 4:48 AM, Blogger amandarama said...

So, working with the dogs as you do, you KNOW that scabies isn't an STD, right?

 
At 7:22 AM, Blogger equippedtofascinate said...

I'm very well aware, but most people aren't. I've actually been exposed many a time through work, but have never got an infestation.

 

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