Cricket

On occasion, I decide to write about my friends on my blog. Since I'm bored, and my friends are out of town/working; which means I'm at home alone on a Saturday night, I decided to write about my good friend Amanda...A.K.A., Cricket.
I've known Amanda for about 5 years now. Not too long in the great scheme of things, but long enough to know that she is a great friend. We met during Grease at the good old Pit. I think I may have written that before.
Amanda is one of those people you can trust. She is the only person, other then me, who knows the password to my blog. Perhaps that is because I know the password to hers too. She's only abused the privilege once, to correct a blog entry I had written about the Red Violin.
The picture above is actually a picture of her on her birthday back in '84. Spectacular, isn't it? She looks just as smashing in present day. She was even crowned "Miss Lake Dardenelle" a few years back.
Amanda always takes time out of her busy schedule to correct my spelling and tell me what weekends I'm allowed to throw birthday parties on, so she will be able to attend. God love her.

ADD

A few days ago, Lisa told me how to update my profile on myspace, to include fun surveys and cool layouts. I know how to do the surveys, so those will be slowly added to my page, but the process for changing the layouts has completely slipped my mind. I was trying to do change my layout and put a song on my page today, when I realized, not only do I not know what I'm doing, but I must have one of the worst cases of ADD ever.
Here's the thing. Everyone who knows me, knows how impatient I am. I hate to sit around and be idle. I constantly have to be doing something, which would explain why I normally get about 5 hours of sleep each night and work about 19 hour days. When I was looking for layouts and music, I realized that maybe it isn't impatience so much as being physically unable to sit still long enough to finish a task.
I thought I knew how to change my layout. I was trying to do it, but after about 20 seconds, I realized that I didn't feel like looking anymore and just chose one to use. It didn't work, but that isn't important.
I can't for the life of me figure out how to add a song to my profile(Amanda, call me, I'll give you my password and let you do it for me. I'm so over trying to figure it out). I tried for a bit, but I just can't do it anymore. I can't sit around trying to figure it out.
Like most things in my life, I can't complete a task. Don't think this makes me an active person, because I'm not. I simply can't stand waiting around for something. I always think there is something more important I could be doing. Maybe I should be medicated for this...or sedated.

Gas Prices

There's nothing worse then high gas prices. Luckily, they've been coming down some lately. However, I hate it when you miss the low prices because you don't need gas. This always happens to me.
I filled up my tank a few days ago. Less then an hour later, I drove by the gas station, and gas prices had dropped 12 cents a gallon. That sucks.
I was thinking about filling my gas tank before work today since I was running a little ahead of schedule. I decided I would do it after work. Of course, while I was working, gas prices jumped 14 cents a gallon. How is it possible that I have that bad of luck? This happens to me all the time. I never get the low gas prices.
I guess I won't miss the $2 I would have saved if I had filled my tank earlier in the day, but it still makes me mad that I am never able to get cheap gas. I think the powers that be have some sort of gauge in my car that says when my tank is getting low so they can raise the prices of gas.

English

I'm not racist. I just need to throw that out there before I write this. I'm actually very impressed when people are able to speak more then one language. However, if English isn't your first language, I feel there are certain jobs you shouldn't hold. Namely, you shouldn't be taking my call at FedEx.
I call FedEx all the time for work. Whenever

we have labwork that we aren't able to run at the clinic, FedEx comes to pick it up and send it to the lab for us. I have their telephone script down, and can answer all their questions for them before they ask me. It's amazing.

Today, I called, and got a man who spoke broken English and couldn't understand me. It was really frustrating for me. First of all, he doesn't need my name. Second, I shouldn't have to spell my last name for you 3 times before you get it correct. Third, when I say, I know it's too late for pick up tonight, you can pick up the package after 7:30 tomorrow, the next thing out of his mouth shouldn't be, I'm sorry it's past your cut off time for pick up tonight. What time will it be available tomorrow?

Saturday Afternoon

My sister and I are not normal. We went to the mall today just to kill some time and waste money. Of course, we ended up at our favorite clothing store. I wanted jeans, but didn't feel much like looking for them, so I found one of our favorite sales associates and told her what I wanted. I let her do the work. As I was walking to the dressing room, I found another pair that I really liked. I picked them up and made a lewd comment to my sister. The sales girl heard me and asked my sister if I was a whore...true story. I laughed really hard.
I bought the jeans, and my sister was driving me home, when she made the comment that she wants a tattoo. I told her I would get one if she did. That's how it started.
We went to the tattoo place and started looking through books to decide what we wanted. I saw the Chinese...or some oriental language, not sure which, word for loose. I figured I had to get it. It describes me perfectly. MJ decided to get the word for mole; a long story about our childhood.
I wanted to get mine on the underside of my left arm, but I've heard from a lot of people that is one of the most sensitive areas. The artist was making fun of me because I was so scared. He started and I realized that everyone had lied to me. It was the least painful tattoo I've had.
The artist was really funny. Molly and I can be a lot to handle, but he took it in stride and was laughing at us. He told us we were the highlight of his day. No doubt a ploy to get a tip out of us, but we took it as a compliment.
As we finally were driving home, we laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. Only in my family will someone decide to get a tattoo on a whim with their sister. It was a good bonding experience though.

The Children's Table

Every Sunday, my family gets together at my parent's house for dinner. It's just a chance for everyone to get to see each other and catch up on gossip. Fun times. Since my family is so large, we require two tables for such functions. We normally separate the children at one table, and the adults at another. I tend to end up at the children's table.

Since I'm one of the few left who isn't married, when someone has to sit with the kids, it's normally me. That way two adults don't have to sit there. I love my nieces and nephews, but I'm not one for kids, so sitting at the children's table isn't much fun for me. Luckily, I was able to squeeze in next to Eric tonight at the adult table. As my family was laughing at my plight, my sister reminded me of earlier years, when we were banished to the kid's table.

For holiday dinners, my entire family would be home. Today, my entire immediate family consists of 20 people when you factor in my brother and sister-in-laws, as well as nieces and nephew. You can imagine that many people don't fit at one dining room table, no matter how big it was. When I was getting out of high school and the first few years of college, we couldn't really have a kid's table, since my nieces were too young to eat by themselves. Thus, Molly, Kara, Kyle and I got screwed every holiday and had to sit at a card table by ourselves.

It sounds really funny, but it wasn't. We were excluded from every conversation, had to get up and get food if we wanted it since no one could pass it to us, and were completely ignored. After the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, we decided to enjoy the holidays our way, with liquor.

Like I said, no one paid any attention to what we did, so we would break into the liquor cabinet...okay, the basement, we didn't have a cabinet. While everyone else was having a glass of wine, we were mixing mean drinks and getting trashed. Kyle was between the ages of 12 and 14 the years this happened. Thus, I don't think I've ever celebrated a major holiday with my family while sober. It's my link to rougher times.

Discrimination

I know that my trials don't compare to most minorities, but I feel I need to write this so you can all be aware of the problem that is

plaguing our country and do your best to stop it. I'm going to start a coalition that demands equal rights for left handed people.

I'm so tired of going to restaurants and having to move my silverware from the right side of the table to the left. Especially when I'm doing something with my left hand when the server walks up to the table and sets the silverware down.

The worst is when I need to sign something. You wouldn't believe how many people refuse to hand a pen to your left hand. Just try it sometime. They'll automatically bring the pen to your right side, and most of the time won't correct themselves when you try to grab it with your left hand.

Here's what should be done. Silverware should be placed in front of a person, below the plate if needed. That way, I don't have to reach across my food with my expensive clothes and risk getting my sleeve in it.

Pens should always be presented to the center of a person. This way, the person can decide which hand to grab it with. It isn't difficult, and it would make me a lot less cranky every time I have to correct people on a daily basis.

Party Planning

Despite the fact that my birthday isn't until midway through November, planning for Lisa and my party has begun. I got a phone call from Amanda last week so she could give me her work schedule and plan the party around it. God love her.

Last year's party was great. It was a costume party that was 80's themed. We were a little worried that we wouldn't be able to top it, but I believe that we have. This year, our party theme is Pimps and Hoes. That's right, a costume party where everyone comes dressed as either a pimp or a hoe. I can't wait.

Invitations will be sent out later, since it's still way too early. I'm a little worried about party favors though. What do you give everyone for a party with this theme? I've been thinking it may be fun to give everyone an STD. What do you think?

Welcome Back

Although I love my family, I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be born into different circumstances. Would I be less self-conscious/mean/ugly/depressed?
To the chagrin of some of my readers, I'm not going to go into too much detail with this post. All I'll say is that I've been a jackass to some people recently. If I could take things back, I would. Unfortunately, we make mistakes and have to deal with them. So, to those that I've made upset and angry, I'm sorry. I love you all.

Adios

I'm taking a break from my blog for awhile. I've got some issues I need to deal with and just need to clear my mind for a bit. I'll hopefully be back in about a week.

God is Smiling on Me

I can't think of anything more exciting then the news that I found out a few days ago. Sad, but true, one of the happiest moments of my life was a few days ago when I found out that Fox was going to re-air season 1 of American Idol.

This season was the best by far. I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but Kelly won. Can you get any better then that? I can't wait to tape the entire season. Yes, I'm serious.

Shaking it with Shakespeare

I've enjoyed my last week or so of freedom since Rocky ended. I've gone to a party, gone to the movies, and even had time to sleep. It's been amazing. In all honesty, I've felt really lazy, but that's just because I'm a freak who feels as though I need to be doing something 20 hours a day.

Anyhow, my free time is no longer. I got a call tonight asking if I would be in Hamlet. Right, because I'm talented enough to do that show. Small part that it is, it doesn't really make much of a difference. My experience with Billy was when I had to ready Romeo and Juliet my freshman year in high school and ended up renting the movie instead because I couldn't follow it.

So, for the next 2 months or so, I again have no life. Sleep is over rated, and something I've learned to do without over the course of my life. I just hope I get to wear tights.

Drinking Games

I went to a party last night. It was one of those awkward parties, where you don't really know anyone, but go anyways because you figure you'll have a good time. As with everything I do, there was drinking involved. The people there started talking about drinking games. The usual games were mentioned; beer pong, quarter bounce, etc. As I saw it, games for amateurs. Before I thought about it, I mentioned that I knew of a really fun drinking game.

Keep in mind that of all the people there, I knew only one person. Their first impression of me was based soley on my knowledge of this game. I tried to retract the statement, but it was too late. They wanted to hear about it.

I don't know the name of the game, it's something my older sister, Megan, taught me a year or two ago. Unlike other drinking games, this one doesn't involve people taking shots after someone successfully achieves the goal, it's just to look stupid and develop talent.

I told them you need a shot glass and a quarter. Interest was sparked, but then I explained how the game is played, and they wanted to kick me out of the party. The objective of the game is to drop the quarter into the shot glass. The twist is that you have to stand about 10 feet from the shot glass before you can walk up to it. Oh, did I mention that you have to hold the quarter between your butt cheeks?

No one wanted to be the first to try it. I refused since I had already made a fool out of myself by suggesting the game. Soon enough, everyone came around and tried it. I know you're all judging me for this right now, but just try it once, it's the funniest thing to watch people clench a quarter in their bum and try to drop it in a shot glass.

For whatever reason, I'm a natural at this game. I have no butt to speak of, so it doesn't really make sense, but I learned the trick to the game early on. You have to squat before you release the quarter. I didn't have good jeans on last night, so squatting was out of the question. My aim was good, but the quarter kept bouncing out of the glass. I was a failure.

For everyone who collects quarters, think twice before you save them next time. There's no telling where it was before.

Scary Movies

I just returned home from seeing Snakes on a Plane. I won't lie, I liked it. It was funny, scary, and witty, all in one movie. The thing that bothered me most about the movie was when they got the snake expert on the phone, it never occurred to him to tell them to turn up the A/C so they wouldn't be active anymore. He could name the species of every snake on the plane, tell where they were from, and say how long it would be before someone would die after they were bit by each type, but it never occurred to him that snakes are cold blooded and won't move if it's cold. I guess there wouldn't have been much of a movie if that's all it took to save them though.

Anyhow, I actually wanted to write about a different movie tonight. I love scary movies with a passion. Every now and then, there is a scary movie that scares me for months on end after. When I first saw Scream, I was afraid to go anywhere by myself at night for a few weeks. The Mothman Prophecies scared me so badly, that I blocked that movie from my memory, until tonight.

I was talking to Todd before I dropped him off, and he mentioned the movie. For those not familiar, the movie is based on actual events. People see a mothman before a huge disaster, and he gives them clues as to what will happen. It freaked me out. Anyhow, we were talking about it, and I was scared of any shadow that moved, and then I had to drive home by myself.

One of the opening scenes in the movie is when someone actually hits the mothman when driving at night, and then all the terror is unleashed. I've never been so scared to drive as I was tonight. A cat ran in front of me and I almost peed myself. So, if you want a good scare, go rent this movie, but don't discuss it with me when it's done. I want to forget about it again.

Life Sucks

I don't know why it bothers me so much, seeing as how I didn't do anything wrong, but I feel like crap. I had a horrible day at work today. I was accused of horrible things by a client. I wouldn't care so much, but it's from a client that I really like, and the things that she said I did are horrible, and could actually result in me getting fired if they were true. Luckily, my boss is standing behind me and realizes that I didn't do the things she is saying. I have a knot in my stomach right now, just knowing that someone could think I could do something like that. My confidence was non existent the second half of my shift, and I just wanted to cry all day. I'll deal with it the best way I know how; drinking. Luckily for me, tonight is Warnke family bar night, Sept '06 edition.