Why Not?

Tomorrow, I'm going to begin to undertake a huge endeavor that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I'm going to start writing a book. I know, how stupid of me, since I'm not really that great of a writer. Ever since starting my blog though, it's been something that I've wanted to do. I figure it will be a good way to release some of my creative energy. Plus, I have all sorts of amazing stories that I've never shared on my blog. So, here's to my new book, the failure it will become, and the lack of ambition I will have in two days from now when I realize it was a stupid idea.

God has a sense of humor when it comes to my life, but I'm not laughing. I wrote 2 weeks ago about how I need to get out of here and start my life over. I don't know what to do now.

The funny thing is, I have a job offer, which will require me to move. No, I didn't put out any applications. An old employer of mine asked me to come work for him in the southern part of the state. Currently, I'm waiting to find out about rent on the house I would be living in before going down there and finalizing everything.

The problem is that there is someone who has made this decision difficult for me. I'm ready to leave many people behind and never speak to them(pretty much one person, but whatever) again. Why did someone who would be perfect for me have to send me a mildly drunk text telling me about the crush they have on me? Now, I'm starting to second guess what I should do.

If only every circumstance was black and white. Why do there have to be so many grey areas? There are so many other factors coming into play in this decision, and I can't for the life of me figure out what the best decision is going to be for me. I only have a few days to make the decision, which is what is stressing me out. I wasn't prepared to make it this quickly, but I also know that it's something I should do.

I'm scared to move to an area I don't know, leave my family and have to start over making new friends, learning a new job, and give up theatre since there isn't one close by. On the other side, it's an amazing opportunity for me. I just don't know what to do.

Total Recall

Oh how I hate my job on days like today. I opened this morning, which was bad enough in its self. I started to get sick Friday night, and wasn't really feeling too great this morning.

I was there by myself, when the local newspaper called me to ask if I knew of any pets who were sick from the recent food contamination. I had no idea what the lady was talking about, but I didn't want to look stupid. I told her I didn't. She wanted me to call her back with any names if I heard of anyone. She wanted to do an interview with them. Right, because I can legally give out names of people without their permission.

Anyhow, the day started, and I forgot about the call. Then, we got another call. This time from one of the local TV stations wanting to interview the doctor for the news. She agreed, and I remembered that I wanted to ask what was going on.

For those not familiar, there is a huge recall on certain types of dog and cat food. Most major brands have been affected by it. Apparently, something was put in with the fillers that can cause kidney failure. Not a good thing. Especially when the animals start to die, as has happened with some of them.

Anyhow, the paper ran a story on it today. What was great about it was that they were quick to list all the brands of food, and how deadly it can be, but they didn't print the phone number people were supposed to call with questions. We spent the day talking to every owner of every sick pet in the area today.

At first, I tried to be nice. What bothered me was that everyone who read the paper seemed to pick up on the fact that in a few cases, the mess up turned deadly. What no one noticed is that it has to be canned food or food in pouches. About 90% of the people had nothing to worry about because they either hadn't fed the tainted brands or were feeding hard food. It got really old, really fast. Especially when I had to listen to people describe their pet's diarrhea to me in detail for more times then I care to count, and my job isn't even to answer the phones.

As it turned out, the doctor didn't need to do her interview today. The news was able to find a local woman who's cat was on the verge of death from eating bad food, and decided her story was more informative then going with an educated person who actually could tell people what to look for and what types of food were compromised. What struck me as being the most funny about changing the interview was that there have been 10 confirmed cases in which a pet actually died in the US from this. The odds that this lady's cat was actually going to die from eating this food were slim to none. That doesn't stop the news from spreading its propaganda to the masses though. Whatever makes for good TV.

Dance Fever

I can't dance, plain and simple. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just a fact of

my life. Every choreographer I've ever worked with has learned this early on, and always sticks me in the back during dance numbers. Why Tom decided to bring me up front is beyond me.

Tomorrow night, Cabaret opens. The last song has a few little dance moves in it. The moves aren't actually difficult, it's just that we've only run it twice with music, and I don't know the song at all, so I'm never sure where to come in. I thought I had it down tonight though.

There I was, up front, unable to see anyone else dancing. I was swinging my pelvis, popping my knees, all while owning the mesh halter shirt I have to wear. Then, I heard the director and choreographer laughing in the back of the theatre. I kept going, thinking to myself, someone must be messing up really bad. The thought never even occurred to me that it was me.

Finally, someone behind me whispered, Scott, we're not supposed to be dancing yet. I felt like such an idiot. I begged the choreographer to move me into the back so I could just follow everyone else. He won't. I asked if we could just cut the song from the show, and they said no. I don't know what to do. All I know for certain, if I mess up tomorrow night, you better believe I'll be doing it in style.

Untitled, as of yet

My life is falling apart. I've thought this before, but this time, it actually is. Everything just seems to be going wrong and be a huge mess right now. It seems like every good thing that has happened lately has been countered by 3-4 horrible things. In the last few days, every fun/good/exciting thing that has happened to me, has been negated within 24 hours when I learn the truth behind intentions, or find out what really is happening.

I'm stuck here for 3 more weeks, finishing up a show. After that, I'm done. I want to move somewhere where I can get a new job, new friends, and a new life. Yes, that is my new way of dealing with problems, I'm running away from them. Things have become too screwed up for me to have the energy or desire to try to fix them, only to have the problems come back a few weeks later.

So, anyone in a warm climate who knows of apartments for rent and job opportunities for me, let me know.

Betrayal

Sometimes, I think that I'm too nice. Try not to laugh too hard at that comment. I just wish that I had the guts to say what I feel and actually act on my feelings. As the saying goes though, the good guys always finish last.
Being careful not to divulge too many details of what I'm talking out for fear of the reproctions, I have never felt more betrayed then I did today. The irony of the situation is that I should have known better. Of the two people responsible, my track record with the one has proven that I shouldn't trust the one. Instead, I decided that I would give this person the benefit of the doubt and be friend again. Right, that worked out well.
So, that leads me to tonight. A bottle of wine later, I still can't get over how hurt I am by it. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the person completely stabbed me in the back, won't even recognize my existence today thinking that I'm not intelligent enough to realize what's going on, or actually thinking I could trust that person to be a friend.
Honestly, how many times should you forgive someone before you realize it isn't worth it to keep them in your life anymore? I suppose I've done this about 3 times too many with this person. I wish I was a stronger person who could actually say what I thought to this person. I'm not, so I'll resort to my blog, omitting crucial details and names in order to protect the reputations of all involved.
On a lighter note, I saw a clip today of Joss Stone giving her opinion of Paris Hilton today. She said something to the effect of that when you have nothing better to sell then sex, you may as well sell your sex. Seems completely out of place in this post, huh? Not really.

It's been awhile.

Okay, I've been home for about a week now, but I've just been trying to catch up on sleep and alcohol withdraw. I realized that I never wrote about the concert I went to the night before I went to New Orleans though. I had meant to, but kind of forgot about it in the excitement of being down south.
I went to see Josh Groban last week. This was my second time seeing him, and let me say, he never disappoints. I wish I had a fraction of his talent.
I was kind of tired when I got there, and wasn't really too excited to see the concert to be perfectly honest. I still had to finish packing, and just wanted to go to bed. The concert started though, and I remembered why I love listening to him sing so much.
Just as exciting, he brought his violinist, Lucia Migarelli, back again. She is by far one of the most talented musicians I've ever heard. Last time I saw him in concert, she played Bohemian Rhapsody on her violin, and it was amazing. She did another song this time, which was equally impressive, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was.
With that said, I'm about to be off to bed.