I'm Never going to Live this Down

Saturday night was Lisa and my annual birthday extravaganza. What I don't understand is why I never learn my lesson to not make a fool of myself in public. I'm a glutton for embarrassment.
I was so excited to rock out my knee high, red, pleather, platform boots with my sequence thong and booty shorts. I did my makeup, put on my press on nails, and painted them a lovely shade of red with glitter. That's when I realized my first mistake. I should have put on the fish nets before I put on the nails. Oh well, I lost a few nails in the process, but I managed to get them on.
I realized how skanky my costume was, and was okay with it. When everyone else saw it, they made me doubt myself. Everyone kept saying I was going to get kicked out of the bar since you could see my butt crack, and the bottom of my butt cheeks. I drank some more vodka, and said I would bring a pair of jeans, just in case.
The first people I saw when I got to the bar were my co-workers. I found out today that I actually showed them just how much of my body was exposed before I said, "It's okay if you see my butt, we've worked together long enough that it doesn't matter." I don't remember that, but there is lots to the night I don't remember.
I made a dollar when I was doing karaoke. Some random person put it in my guarder, alongside the flask I had tucked away. I decided I was on a roll, so why not bust out in a dance in front of everyone. In the process of dancing, I broke the bottoms off both of my shoes. Some of my friends came down to help me up the stairs since they thought I wouldn't be able to walk without my shoes in one piece.
Amazingly enough, I managed to walk up a flight of stairs with minimal help without falling. As soon as I got upstairs, I collapsed though. I couldn't get up, and I think I took one of my friends down with me. I sat on the floor of the bar until someone brought me my tennis shoes and changed.
I think lots of other exciting things happened, but I don't really remember. I do know that I love Amanda, but I just wanted her to leave me alone. Long story, but apparently I said that to her. Sorry.
I've heard there is video footage of me singing, but I've yet to see it, and hope to never be forced to watch it. The night would have been better if I had remembered my camera, but I'm dumb. So, everyone who has pictures, send some my way. This was a night I wish I could remember.