Shut Yo Mouth!

Sometimes I think people just shouldn't talk to me. Life would be far less complicated and dramatic if they would just cut me off. Why? Because in the last 24 hours I've had two people make very odd comments to me. I'll start with the comment my mom made first, even though this was the second comment if we go in chronological order.
My parents went to Wisconsin this week for my grandpa's funeral. They got home today and I was asking how it went since I didn't go. My mom told me that he looked terrible when she saw him. Then, she continued to say his face was as skinny as yours. Okay, I know that my mom didn't really mean to say that my face looks like a dead person's, but she also knows that I have real issues with how I look and should watch how she phrases things around me because now I have another complex.
The second thing that was said was after rehearsal last night. I was sitting at a table and Paul said, your shirt looks clean tonight. I wasn't wearing my costume anymore, just my normal shirt. The way I see it, there was only three ways to interpret this comment. Say thanks, and let the conversation move forward, assume that my shirts are normally dirty looking and this is a step forward, or be completely confused as to why someone would make such a random comment. I was confused, and still am today. The irony of this comment was that my shirt was actually dirty.
What are some odd things that people have said to you? Do you think Paul is an asshole? I want people to comment on this.