Naval Collapse

I've always hated belly buttons. I don't think people should decorate the remains of their umbilical cord with jewelry, and worse yet, to play with said jewelry after it is pierced. To be honest, my long standing unease with belly buttons stems from my self-consciousness of my own. It pains me to admit this, but I have an outie.
Yes, my belly button sticks out. It's really gross. I've always been told that outies become innies after you get older, but my button never was one to conform, and never went in. Anyhow, I was driving earlier today, and happened to rest my hand over my stomach. For a moment, I was really excited. It seemed that my belly button decided to go in. I finally had a belly button to be proud of. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that not only did I still have an outie, but it was a fat role that was making it feel like an innie. Life sucks.