That Person

There's nothing worse then trying to have good time, and some random person has to ruin it for you. If you can't handle your liquor, don't drink it.

Last night, I went to the Junction with Lisa for the first time in a month. Even though I'm not really 100% better, I wanted to sing some karaoke. Lisa and I are hateful bitches when we go to the bar. We always make fun of any mulletts, whores, or public displays of drunkenness we may encounter.

There was a lady who was probably in her late 40's-early 50's there, wearing a skirt that barely covered her crotch, and a top that showed her stomach. She was missing some teeth, and was terribly drunk. Of course she was the topic of our conversation when we saw her. The only problem was that she was sitting directly behind me.

Don't be fooled into thinking that because someone is sitting near us, we will not talk about them. No, if you can't look in a mirror before you leave the house, you deserve to be talked about. She was a friendly drunk girl though, and wouldn't leave us alone.

I made the mistake of trying to sing some Meatloaf. Sore throat, dry contacts, and me not really knowing the song as well as I thought, made for an interesting performance. Our new lady friend loved it though. She kept telling me how someone must have been grabbing my balls while I was singing for me to be able to hit those high notes. Then she offered to grab my balls herself if I should need the help on any other songs. I declined the offer.

Lisa and I were trying to ignore her, so she kept tapping me on the shoulder so she could let me know that she was staring at me. I told her that's great, and please don't touch me. I have never wanted to use Lysol like I did last night after she touched me. Unfortunately, she forgot that I asked her not to touch me and kept tapping my shoulder to talk to me.

Lisa and I were having a field day talking about this woman, and laughing quite hysterically. I made a comment about her, and we both started laughing. The next thing we know, she leans over to our table laughing as well, and asks what's so funny. She wants to hear the joke too. I figured that since we were laughing at her, and she already was laughing, without even knowing why, there was no need to fill her in.

Eventually she left, and Lisa and I had a good hour to ourselves. We've been discussing finding a new bar though. Sad, but true. We can't handle crazy people like that anymore. I think people just want to talk to us because we're so nice.