Paying Bills

I've been meaning to send out a bill for the last few days, but I needed a stamp, and just didn't get around to buying one till today. See, I refuse to buy books of stamps. Every time I do, the post office raises the price about halfway through the book, and I have to then buy a 2 cent stamp in addition to my regular stamp since my stamps are worthless. Actually, this has absolutely nothing to do with my story, but I figured you all wanted to know this useful bit of information about me in case you were ever on a quiz show and the question of how many stamps do I buy at once came up.

Like I said, I had to pay a bill and needed to get a stamp. I didn't feel like going to the post office because it's too far, and it always takes forever. I went to the grocery store instead. I was about to get out of the car, when I realized I didn't write my account number on my check. I know, it probably doesn't matter, but I like to do it because they tell you to, and I don't want to get a late fee for something stupid like that. I follow rules, that's all there is to it.

I started to write the info on my check, when I noticed a pickup truck pull alongside my car. It was kind of odd, because I was parked near the back of the lot(I felt like walking), and there were lots of spots much closer. I had my windows rolled up already, even though it was almost 90, but I could hear the two guys yelling, "Dude! Hey, dude!" at me.

I, of course, ignored them. Anyone who knows me, knows that my name isn't Dude, and therefore, I won't respond to it. I don't even respond when people call me Scottie, so we all know something that doesn't even have my name as the root word isn't going to warrant any sort of response. They were persistent though, and I felt embarrassed that they were yelling at me.

I finally acknowledged them when they screamed, do you want a home entertainment system. I thought, if this is some salesperson trying to make a cheesy pitch in the middle of a parking lot, screaming at me through my closed window, he really needs to work on his act. I turned my head slightly and said no.

This is when it got interesting. At no point during our entire conversation did this person lower his voice. He kept yelling the whole way through. He said, "Are you sure, it's free." Free my ass. I'm not about to do sexual favors for an entertainment system. A new car, maybe. Then he said, "I deliver them to houses for my job, and they accidentally gave me an extra to deliver."

I looked at him because I couldn't believe someone would be that stupid. He and his friend were so excited and happy. Did they really think that no one would notice this mix up at some point? When they did, would they still be so happy that they gave the merchandise to a random, sexy, intelligent person in the parking lot? Crazy people always flock to me, and I don't understand why. I should have taken it. These idiots deserve to loose their jobs, and I deserve something nice for sitting in a parking lot.