equippedtofascinate

Too much of a prude

2008-09-14T11:53:00.002-07:00

Seriously, it's been too long since I've updated this blog. This is my third attempt at starting this story. I feel as though I've lost my natural knack for blogging. Such a sad realization that is.
I have some whorish tendencies. I'll be honest with myself, if I have too much to drink, and someone is willing, I'll make out with you. I know, so sad, but so true. I draw the line there though. I don't want to get pregnant or anything. Sometimes though, I feel as though I should loosen my morales and just have some fun. I really hope I'm making some of you uncomfortable with this post. Ok, by sometimes, I actually mean in the specific situation I'm faced with right now.
So here's the predicament I'm in. There's a certain someone, someone that I used to date...I think some of you may know who I'm writing about. Feel proud of yourself if you do. If you don't, I'll give you a clue. There was a post about a year ago about my underwear being washed by this person's grandma. Chanel your inner Sherlock Holmes, I'm not about to spell this one out for you. Mainly because I can't remember if this person has my blog address. That may make for an interesting conversation later...
I'm trying to focus now, and not go off on any more tangents. For the sake of this post, we'll refer to the person as A, simply because his name is andy. A and I have reconnected after a few months of not being on the best of terms. He has made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship right now. He has good reasons for it, and it isn't a snub to me, he just doesn't want one in general...or so he says. Now, I'm not one to sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with. Ok, I'll sleep with you if we're speaking the strictly plutonic sense of the word, but that's not the implication that I meant. No lies in this post, I do still have feelings for him, which he knows. I just don't really want to allow those feelings to come to the surface too much, knowing that nothing will come from it right now. At the same time, I have no desire to date anyone else right now either.
So, do I just do the deed? The feelings are already there, and aren't going away. I could become a tramp for awhile and live with that. Or, do I just live like a monk like I have been for the last...not willing to mention how long? I think I may have shared too much on this, but whatevs. Give your imput. I don't like to make decisions.

Maybe I'll get back into this

2008-06-15T08:09:00.002-07:00

So, I've been slacking for awhile on my blogs. I haven't really been inspired, I guess. Now, I just want a diversion. Who knows, I may come back in full force again with fun little stories about my screwed up life. Only time will tell. Keep checking.

Screw People

2007-12-18T20:56:00.000-08:00

More often then not, I love my job. Sometimes I get fed up with dealing with people, and want to tell them how I feel because they're so stupid. Today, I had to deal with something I've never had to deal with before, and hoped to never have to deal with; dog fighting.
For the most part, I try to see the good in people. I may come across as stuck up and calloused, but for the most part, I like people. However, there are certain situations that make me sick to my stomach and make me wonder what the hell is going on in people's sick, twisted minds to inflict pain and suffering on others to the extent that they do.
My day was going along normally, when we got a phone call from someone saying they had just picked up a dog from the bad part of town that they thought was hit by a car. Under no circumstances do I want people to think that the man who brought the dog in was somehow involved in anything that happened. He happened to be in the area, and came across a dog that was in a bad situation.
As soon as the dog got to us, it was obvious that he was used in fights, most likely as the bait dog, and the owners didn't want to use him anymore because he was so badly injured. I've seen a lot of horrible things with animals in the past, but nothing as bad as how this dog looked when he came in. I almost threw up when I saw him because I knew what had happened, and felt so bad for him.
We did what we could to make it comfortable before I called 911. I knew it was pointless to call, but part of me hoped that possibly, someone would have enough of a heart to at the very least go to the area he had been picked up from to investigate. The dispatcher was symapthetic and put a page into animal control telling them to call me, since it was after hours. She sounded like she really cared, and hoped to do as much as she could too. Turns out, animal control doesn't care. The dog didn't make it, and no one has to suffer any consequences for it.
Fuck that. I considered calling the news station to let them know how I felt about our laws that do absolutly nothing to protect those who don't have voices. I knew it would probably result in me losing my job, but still feel like I should do it. I know that even if the police did investigate, nothing would come of it. The dog had no identification on him, was likely dumped in an area far from where the owners live, and if by some odd twist of fate, they were caught, they wouldn't spend time in jail because jails are overcrowded with worse offenders.
What has come of the world today? Michael Vic...or whatever the hell that assholes name is, is still considered a hero because he's a celebrity. People excuse him because that's they way he was brought up, and cruelty to animals still exists because people can make bets on them and make money. My hope is that every person who ever has taken part in either raising a dog for fighting, or gone to a dog fight, some day has the dog turn on them, and attack them. I've had more then my fair share of dog attacks, and let me tell you, they suck. I just hope that when these dogs do turn on the assholes that feed off of this kind of bullshit, they go for the jugulars, and their family and friends give them the same kind of compassion they give to their dogs, and leave them bleeding on the side of the road. Karma's a bitch.

Scabies

2007-12-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

I appologize in advance to anyone who may think I'm making fun of their scabies infestations. I know it's not a laughing matter, I've been exposed many times through work...don't want to talk about it, but never had an outbreak. However, sometimes the simplest solution means making a fool of yourself.
I went out after my show last night. I'm not for picking someone up at a bar. I know, I'm too classy for my life. It just isn't something I'll ever do. I need to get to know someone before I'll start dating. However, I always get hit on at the gay bars. I don't understand it. I'm not really attractive, and I'm definitly not easy, so I don't know why I always find the trolls when I go there.
Last night, after my show, I went to the bar with a few friends. I had been there no more then ten minutes before someone came up to our table to let me know that his friend wanted to talk to me, but was too shy to do it. Aww, how sweet. A few minutes later, one of my other friends showed up, and when he was filled in on the drama that was starting to unfold, was able to correctly identify the "shy" boy who wanted me to talk to him. Nice try Josh.
Anyhow, Josh came over to talk to my friends while I was sitting there a few minutes later. All I wanted to do was have a night out singing karaoke with my friends. I wasn't looking for someone to go home with. I'm a good Christian boy, afterall. He introduced himself to me, like I didn't already know his name, and he didn't know mine already. Awkward, but whatever.
A few minutes later, I needed another beer. Katie and I went to the bar and left Brooke at the table. We were stuck in the line for a few minutes, and when I looked over to check on Brooke, I saw Josh talking to her. Great. She told me that he told her to put in a good word for him. She apparently told him I had just got out a long relationship and that I wasn't looking to get into another one at the time. When that didn't work, she tried to tell him that I was dating her. Signs of a good friend really.
When she told me what he had said, and explained her unsuccessful attempts to get him to leave me alone, I told her to tell him I just wasn't interested and that I have scabies if he talked to her again. It was a joke; the scabies aspect, that is. I should have known better.
A few minutes later, he came back to our table. I wish I could remember the conversation word for word, because I will always admire Brooke for her ability to bring up my scabies in a conversation, and making it work, without making it look like she was trying to scare someone off. She did it beautifully. The look on Josh's face made the entire night worth while. I scratched myself for effect. Josh ran away, and I thought everything was fine.
Turns out Brooke, or P.J. Sparkles, as her karaoke name was, was due to sing shortly after. She sang the classic Bonnie Rait(don't crucify me for spelling her name wrong) song, "I Can't Make You Love Me" and dedicated it to me. It was sweet and heartfelt, until the end. Something came over her, and she said, into the microphone, "I love you Scott, and the scabies."
Turns out all of Saginaw now thinks I have scabies...I don't, in case you're confused. I appreciated the effort. Not everyone will make up an STD for you to have in order to scare someone off. That's how you know who your true friends are.
At the end of the night, Josh came back to our table to say goodbye to everyone. Everyone, but me. He started to walk out, and I decided to have a little fun. I called his name, and said, "Josh, it was really good to meet you." He looked a little horrified, when I extended my hand to shake his, but since he was gloved, decided he was good to go. He didn't even ask for my number, which I don't understand. I mean, there is treatment for scabies.

One of those days.

2007-12-05T19:34:00.000-08:00

I hate it when I wake up in the morning and feel like I should just stay in bed because I have a feeling it's going to be a bad day. I hate it because I'm always right when I think that. Yesterday, I had that feeling, but I had to get to work, so I got up, and began to dread what I knew would be a bad day.
This story actually started last week. I like to crochet. I'm doing a show, where I have a lot of downtime, so I decided to make myself a lovely scarf when I'm not onstage. It's become the cast joke of who gets the scarf when I'm done with it, because I don't normally keep anything I've made for myself. Things turned ugly, and I somehow got death threats from two of the people over my scarf. Needless to say, they were quickly moved down on my list of people I want to give my scarf to.
Anyhow, I got ready for work yesterday, and no major incidents occured. Maybe I was just thinking too much, and it would be a good day after all. I drove to work. I was about half way there, when I noticed the wind was making a lot of noise blowing under my car, and blowing my car to the center of the road. Oh Michigan winters. That's when I realized that the wind wasn't actually blowing. Huh? I continued to drive, and then realized there was something wrong with my car. A mile later, I realized I had a flat tire. Yeah, I'm not too bright.
Now, I get flat tires all the time. Normally one or two a year. I'm not really sure why, but I always find the one nail in the middle of the road and run it over. The good thing about that is that I know how to change a tire really quickly. I pulled into the 7-11, and went to get my spare and jack out of my trunk. Great, for some reason, the lock on my trunk is stuck. I figured i would deal with my tire after work, and called my sister to see if she was on her way to work and could give me a ride. She didn't answer. I called work to see if anyone there could come get me, no answer. Great.
So, here it is, quarter to 8 in the am, and I have to walk the rest of the way to work. Mind you, it was only about a half mile, but I have never been so cold in my life. There are no sidewalks the first quarter mile, so I had to truck through 2 foot deep snowdrifts. I could see the sidewalk looming in front of me, and I realized no one had bothered to shovel. The sidewalk was under a good two inches of ice. The only good thing about this story is that I didn't fall on the ice.
I had to call my parents when I got to work to make sure someone could give me a ride home after work. I felt like such a child. Everyone made fun of me.
I decided to change my tire this morning, since I didn't get out of work till after dark last night. I still didn't have a jack, so I borrowed my sister's. Turns out, hers was too high for my car, so I had to drive all the way across town, to my mom's work to get hers. I got the car up, and the tire wouldn't come off. I went home to get a hammer, thinking I could loosen the tire with that. No luck. I waited for my dad to get out of work, to see if he could help me, and nothing. My brother in law tried to get it off, and it was still stuck. Only in my life.
At this point, I had to get to my rehearsal, so I left and called a tow truck to get my car in the morning. I'll let the professionals get my tire off. I got to the show, and lost my voice. I mean lost it like I've never lost it before. My throat doesn't hurt, it's just that it all of a sudden will stop working when I'm singing, with no warning. Kind of odd.
So that was my day today. Earlier in the week, I was so excited to have the day off. I literrally haven't slept a full night in almost 4 months now. The most sleep I've been able to get in a night was 6 hours, and only get 3-4 hours about 90% of the time. I really needed a day to sleep and rest. No such luck. I think I'm about to lose it, but whatever. How was everyone else's day?

Unanswered Prayers

2007-12-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

Just the other night, at a home town football game...If you can finish that sentence, without looking up the words online first, you'll earn serious bonus points with me. Oh Garth. If only I'd known how relavent your song would be to me, 10 years later.
Listen to the song, think about my life, and then tell me how stupid I've been the last few months. It's okay, I can take it. Wow, sometimes I feel like an idiot, and I've been feeling like one for the last few days when I realized how stupid I was for caring about someone who only cares about themself. Good ridence. I'm ready to move on and be happy.
That's it for tonight. I'll write a fun post once something funny happens and I'm not so tired.

My Obvious Eating Disorder

2007-11-26T06:39:00.000-08:00

I'm thin, and I can't help it. Anyone who has seen me eat, knows that I can put away food like no other. I just can't gain weight. Perhaps I have worms, I don't know. What has really been bothering me a lot lately is the amount of comments I've been getting from people about how they're concerned I'm anorexic.
Mind you, I haven't been loosing weight, if anything, I've gained some, but for some reason, the last year or so, I've got a lot of comments from a lot of different people saying they're concerned about me being anorexic. I've had enough people comment on it that I myself got concerned that maybe I do have an eating disorder and didn't realize it. So, I did what any responsible person would do, and started counting my calories to make sure I am eating enough. Turns out that a typical day for me consists of anywhere from 2500-3000 calories. Like I said, I can eat a lot.
Part of the problem is that I don't even try to defend myself anymore when someone accuses me of it. People already have their mind made up about it, so let them think what they want.
Last night, while I was eating, someone told me he thinks I'm anorexic. Right, because I'm holding a plate loaded with food, obviously I am. I don't understand the double standard here. I would never tell someone they're fat, but it's okay to accuse someone of having a disease that could be life threatening. Plus, I don't think I look anorexic. Yeah, I'm skinny, but I'm not that skinny that I would think people would think I don't eat. Maybe I am though and should start eating Crisco in hopes of putting on some weight. More likely though, I'm just not going to worry about it and bitch slap the next person who asks me about my eating disorder.

Anal Glands

2007-11-23T18:13:00.001-08:00

All dogs have them...unless they've had surgery to remove them, I suppose. I guess I should say all dogs are born with them. I suppose there may be the genetic mutant out there that was born without them, but I just want to get on with my story.
So, dogs(and cats) have glands on either side of their rectum. The glands fill with an oily discharge that is primarily used for marking territory and the like. For whatever reason, some dogs aren't able to express these glands on their own, and they need to be manually expressed or else they can get infected. Enough Biology for tonight, on to the story.
Ted E Bear(yes that's really his name) came in today for a routine check up. The owner asked us to express his glands. Now, if you've ever smelled anal gland material, you'll know the pleasentness of the process. Noramally, they express pretty easily, but the first one I did was kind of thick(really sorry, this story is gross, and it only gets worse). It was difficult to get it out. I got it out, and moved on the the other one.
Expecting the same thickness, I raised the tail higher then I normally would in hopes of getting leverage and prepared to squeeze harder then I noramally would. Probably not the best idea. See, this one had a normal consistancy to it, so when it expressed, it came out easily. Due to my poor judgement of holding the tail high and squeezing hard, it shot out of the gland...right onto my face. Yeah, it was about the grossest thing I've ever encoutered.
So there you have it. After over a month of not posting, I'm back in full force with a gross story that no one wanted to hear about, but that I found necessary to share. Feel free to discuss.

Tale as old as time

2007-10-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why, but when I found out that our community theatre was doing Beauty and the Beast this year, I got excited. Truthfully, it's a horrible show, but it's one that I've always wanted to do. I remember when I was little and the movie first came out singing along to the songs thinking how amazing it would be if I one day got the opportunity to preform them.
I auditioned on Wed night for the show. I've been insanely busy for the last few months, and didn't really have time to prepare an audition song. I figured that I would sing a song from the show, that I had only heard once before. I also figured that 2 hours would be more then enough time to learn and memorize a song. I also picked a song that is too low for my range. Do you see how I was setting myself up for failure?
I got to the theatre, and couldn't for the life of me memorize my song. It wasn't that the words are difficult, but my brain is kind of on overdrive lately. I had been memorizing the lines for the show that I'm doing right now all week long, and was stressed, which made it more difficult for me.
When my time came to sing, I appologized for not being memorized and said I needed to have the words with me. I figured they would let it slide because they knew I was doing another show and hadn't had time to sit and memorize. I also figured I would blow them away with my voice and it wouldn't matter.
Well, they didn't mind that I had to read the words, they did mind that I couldn't hit the low notes and that I couldn't find the melody. I had never been so embarrased in my life as I was trying to sing that song. When I was done singing, I appologized to the director, music director, and everyone in the audience for having to listen to that. They laughed but then looked at eachother like, thank God he's done.
Up next? Dance auditions. I can't dance to save my life. I'm not really sure how I've ever been cast in a musical before because my dancing is that bad. I sometimes think it looks like I'm having a seizure when I try to dance. Luckily for me, while we were doing the dance for the director, someone behind me fell and skidded across the stage. That distracted the director, and I don't think he really paid any attention to how bad my dancing was.
By this point, I knew it was pointless for me to continue trying to get a part. We began to read lines from the show. I really didn't put too much into it because I knew I wasn't going to get cast.
Fast forward to yesterday. I'm sitting at home, and got a phone call. It was from the theatre asking me to come back for a call back. Now, I've had some bad auditions in my day, but this one took the prize for most embarassing. I have no idea why they want to see me back. Perhaps because they just felt so bad for me. It's not like the director knows my abilities that well. I've never worked with him before. I guess I owe someone some sexual favors.

Beer Pong and Bruises

2007-09-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

My baby brother was in town for the weekend, which meant family drinking last night. I've cut way back on my drinking the last few weeks, so my tolerance isn't what it used to be. With that being said, I may or may not have been running around my sister's house naked last night when my brother body slammed me into a pile of leaves. All I know is there were leaves in odd spots this morning and I have a few bruises. I was out of control last night.
My main injury last night came during a game of beer pong. I like to pretend that I'm good at it, but really I suck. I have no depth perception to begin with. Alcohol really doesn't help that any. Basically I end up hoping that my sister in law, who is always on my team, does really well and that I can distract my brother and Andy by dropping my pants right before they throw the ball. I play dirty.
Anyhow, at one point about halfway through the game, and after multiple beers and a shot of jager...you know how drunk I was if I did a shot of jager btw...the ball missed the table and went behind me.
My sister has a light fixture that hangs very low, but the dining room table is always beneath it, so you can't really hit your head on it. Well, we were using said table last night for beer pong, and it was in the middle of the living room. I turned and started to run after the ball, and hit my head on the marble and indescript metal of the light fixture.
Had I not been drinking so much, it probably would have hurt a lot more. The fact remains that I actually started to laugh so hard, that I couldn't stand. Everyone saw it happen, and saw me laying on the floor with blood coming from my head, and got kind of concerned. I assured them I was alright, and after a quick stop in the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to hold against my head, finished the game of beer pong. We lost, but I wasn't going to let something as trivial as a head injury keep me from trying to win. Unfortunatly, I think I may have a concussion right now. I should probably ice it, but I just don't feel like it. It will eventually heal on its own.

I Do Know Why

2007-09-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

I over react to a lot of things. It sucks, but that's just the way I am. Even when I know someone is joking around, certain things piss me off, and I don't find them funny. I have my reasons for it, believe you me. However, I don't want to put myself in certain situations, knowing that I had to deal with that kind of crap when I was younger. I don't think many people understand that, which is why I have problems with certain things. Yes, I'm being vague, but I'm trying to be. I'm just frustrated because it isn't fair that I feel the way I do sometimes, and expect people to understand, when I know they don't. Whatever, I suck at life.

First Impressions

2007-09-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

I suck at first impressions. They're too much pressure for me, and inevitably, I end up making an ass of myself. The good thing is that I know I'm going to screw up at some point, so I can prepare myself.
Yesterday, I met Andy's family for the first time. I literally couldn't sleep on friday night because I was so nervous. His mom just got engaged, and was moving in with her soon to be husband. Andy and I were helping them move. I drove the Blazer on the first trip to the new house. I forgot to mention that it was going to need more gas before we could make the second trip.
Poor Andy, about 2 miles from the new house, he ran out of gas. He had noticed that we were almost out of gas earlier on, but at that point, we had already passed all the gas stations, and just were going to hope for the best. See, the new house is out in the middle of nowhere. Turns out, we didn't get so lucky.
After turning a corner, the car stalled out. Andy had to call his dad to let him know we had run out of gas, and of course to point out that we ran out because I'm stupid and forgot to say anything before we left...those weren't really his exact words, but the story is more interesting if I tell it like that.
So much for me looking like a responsible person. Luckily for us, we hadn't actually ran out of gas. Because the gas level shifted when we turned, it caused the car to stall out. We were able to make it all the way to the house and use a gas can to get to a gas station. From now on, when I need to make a first impression with somebody, I'm going to make sure it's under circumstances where I don't have to move or talk.

This makes me happy

2007-09-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

Good thing People Magazine sends me emails about star's updates. This made my whole day worth getting out of bed for.

Kelly Clarkson is putting her tour back on track.

After scrapping the summer version due to poor ticket sales, Clarkson will instead hit North American arenas with special guest Jon McLaughlin, beginning Oct. 10 in New York, PEOPLE has learned. Shows are set through Dec. 3 in Nashville.

It's been a tumultuous couple months for Clarkson, 25, who recently fired her manager and shelved her summer tour after a public clash with Clive Davis over the direction of her latest album, My December, the first disc she co-produced and wrote entirely.

Fans who have tickets for the canceled dates are eligible for a special Ticketmaster code for the new shows; details are available on Clarkson's Web site.

Here's the lineup for Clarkson's My December tour:

• Oct. 10: Verona, N.Y. (Turning Stone Casino)

• Oct. 14-16: New York (Beacon Theatre)

• Oct. 18: Philadelphia (Tower Theatre)

• Oct. 21: Uncasville, Conn. (Mohegan Sun)

• Oct. 23: Boston (Orpheum Theatre)

• Oct. 24: Washington, D.C. (DAR Constitution Hall)

• Oct. 26: Buffalo, N.Y. (Seneca Casino)

• Oct. 28: Detroit (Fillmore)

• Oct. 30: Toronto (Massey Hall)

• Nov. 1: Chicago (Chicago Theatre)

• Nov. 2: Minneapolis (State Theatre)

• Nov. 5: Denver (Paramount Theatre)

• Nov. 10: San Jose, Calif. (Events Center)

• Nov. 12: Seattle (Paramount Theatre)

• Nov. 14: Sacramento, Calf. (Memorial Auditorium)

• Nov. 16: San Diego (Civic Auditorium)

• Nov. 18: Los Angeles (Gibson Amphitheatre)

• Nov. 20: Phoenix (Gammage Theatre)

• Nov. 23: Dallas (Nokia Theatre)

• Nov. 25: Houston (Verizon Wireless Theatre)

• Nov. 27: Atlanta (Cobb Energy Center)

• Nov. 29: Miami (Mizner Park)

• Dec. 1: Tampa, Fla. (Ruth Eckerd Hall)

• Dec. 3: Nashville (Ryman Auditorium)

At Least They're Clean

2007-08-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

Sadly, this story is true. It could only happen to me. It makes me want to curl up and die and quick painless death. To protect people's reputations, I'll only use initials when talking about them.
A few days ago, I did it. You know what I mean. If not, you will shortly. After, I couldn't find my unders(now you know what I'm talking about). I wasn't too worried about it since I'm not a whore and it wasn't a one night stand. I figured A would give them back at a later time.
I went home comando; sorry for the visual. Once I got home, I called A and said, "Bitch, I want my underwear back and I'm not frontin." Actually, it was something more along the lines of, if you see them, can you bring my undergarments to the theatre tonight. That's neither here nor there though. See, it was one of my favorite pairs of unders. If you're going to get some, you better look cute while doing it.
Anyhow, a few days passed, and still no unders. I wasn't worried since I knew they were still in A's apartment, I just forgot to get them every time I was over there. The apartment has laundry facilities in it, but you have to pay to use them, so A's grandma will randomly stop over and pick up dirty laundry and do it to save money. Thoughtful, huh?
Apparently, on one such laundry gathering visit, she came across my underwear and took it with her. I've been assured it was actually clean, but she took it anyways. Great, not only do I not have my favorite pair of underwear anymore, but A's grandma now has it at her house. A assured me it was no big deal, she would never know it was mine and would probably not even notice it.
Turns out, she did notice it. See, I'm stylish, even when it comes to underwear. She really likes my underwear, even though she doesn't know it's mine. She told A that the new underwear with hotdogs on it is really cute.
I'm very aware of the fact that I will never be able to meet this grandma. With my luck, when I do, I'll be wearing the unders she washed for me and took such a keen interest in. I'll lean forward, my bum will become slightly exposed, she'll see it, and put everything together. I feel so common.

Things Not to Do

2007-08-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. I finally cut my hair. It was long overdue, but something that I wasn't able to do because of the show. When I say I cut my hair, I mean that precisly. I actually did it myself. Probably not a great idea in hindsight, but you live and learn.
At first, I was going to just shave it, but decided to give it a go and see what it looked like if I did it myself. I was quite impressed with myself actually. I'll never become a barber, but my hair cut could pass for a low grade salon cut. I was able to deal with that, even though it wasn't quite up to my standards of beauty.
For some reason, after I was done cutting, I decided to try to shave the back of my neck myself. Yes, I have a hairy neck. Gross, but true. It's not like you can braid the hair or anything, my hairline just extends lower then other's. I'm really good at working with mirrors if there is only one involved, but in order to see the back of my head, I needed two.
I couldn't figure out which way to move for the life of me. Once I finally did, I started to shave it. It actually worked fairly well at first, but it turns out that I have a tremor I've never been aware of before. Just as I was finishing, my hand jerked and I shave too high. I tried to even it out, but no luck. I went to work this morning with a very uneven collar.
Luckily for me, we have clippers at work. After shaving a cat's testicals, one of the girls decided to be nice to me and fix my hair as best she could. I say as best she could because I forgot to mention that in my attempt to fix my hair after the jerk, I ended up with a really high uneven collar line. Turns out there was only so much she could do, and turns out I will never cut my own hair again.

Pictures

2007-08-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

My church is putting together a new directory. That means that everyone goes and gets their pictures taken so everyone can see who everyone is. I was not planning on getting my picture done since I really don't go to church that much anymore, and didn't want to be one of the losers who has their picture taken by themselves. Well, my sister, being the thinker that she is, signed me up for an appointment time, so now I have just over 2 hours to get ready.
At first, I was going to give the thumbs up in the picture and have a goofy smile, but I don't think I'll really end up doing that. I wish I had planned more and had rented a tux for the affair. Unfortunatly, I forgot all about my picture until a few minutes ago. Now, I'm rushing, attempting to make myself presentable(by blogging?) before going over there. Yes, it will take me a good 2 hours to get ready. Deal with it, I'm high maintenance.
The best part of the whole situation is that everyone who gets their picture taken gets a free 8x10. Oooh, I'll have a head shot. Before you all go crazy, fighting over who gets to keep the picture, my sister has already laid claim to it. I guess she deserves it, she did force me into this mess. I hope she hangs it over her fireplace...if only they had a fireplace.

Shopping Woes

2007-08-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

I went to Somerset on Saturday. For those of you not familiar, Somerset is a high end mall. Actually, not a mall, but a collection. I'd never been there before, so I was excited to see the wonders of this magical place.
The problem was, my show opened on Friday. I have to fall in the show, a lot. I know how to do stage falls, but they always look fake when I do them, so I would rather just fall for real. Well, after doing that so many times, my legs have become bruised and sore. Sore to the point that I have trouble walking some times.
There's three levels at the collection. I wanted to kill myself every time I came to a staircase. It was bad enough to have to walk on flat surfaces, but when there are stairs involved, it was unbearable. Thank the lord for escalators.
There were a few times we were in stores that had stairs, and it was all I could do to get up and down them. I pulled through though, like a trooper. And that's my whole story.

I could have saved money on car insurance

2007-08-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm scared of lizards. They move too quickly, and you can't read their eyes. They just kind of creep me out.
Regardless, last week, we were brought a gecko(like on the car insurance commercials, thus the clever title of my post) who was stuck to a sticky mouse trap. I decided to save it.
I'm able to handle lizards when they can't move. I'm just scared it's going to bite me. I got him unstuck from the paper, but he was still pretty gooey. His legs were stuck to the side of his body and he couldn't move. I started to get the goo off of his legs too.
When 3 of his legs were clean, he ran away and hide under something sitting on the counter. There was no way I was going to pick it up at this point, so I called one of the girls I work with and made her do it. We got a cup and put him in it since we didn't have anything else around at the second.
She handed the cup to me, and he jumped out of the cup, right at me, mouth open, like he was going to eat me. Mind you, he was probably about 3 inches long. I had no idea I was even able to scream as high pitched as I did when that happened. I've been made fun of for my girly scream even since then. This is why I don't like lizards. I save their lives, and they still try to eat me.

Fab Abs

2007-08-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one night. Yes, I've been drinking. It's been a long day, and my life sucks. Oh how I hate people right now. I won't even begin to go into that right now though.
At rehearsal tonight, I found out that I have to be topless in at least one scene. That's right, I have 2 weeks to get myself into shape. Just add that to the stress of not knowing what to do for my character in this show.
Funny as it sounds, it isn't. I hate my body more then anything, and would rather stick needles into my eyes that have to show my stomach and chest. I was told a few weeks ago that I would be topless in this scene, but since I'm coming through a trapdoor during the song, I didn't think my entire upper body would be exposed. Well, it is.
After I found this out, I spent time doing crunches in the aisles between the seats, doing cardio, and chair pushups. For the next 2 weeks, I'm going to eat nothing but boiled chicken. I've decided to allow myself to drink whatever I want, because, well, I think I'll need it.
You may think I don't have the will power to pull this off, but come opening night, I'm going to look somewhat presentable.

Car Wash, Yeah!

2007-08-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing says summer, quite like a car wash. Nothing gets my blood boiling like a car wash either. I'm not sure why; I love car washes when Christina sings about them. Fund raiser car washes are another story.
For some reason, every time I drive by a gas station hosting a car wash, it makes me want to scream. I'm not sure if it's the ditsy pre-pubescent girls wearing bikinis, holding cardboard signs on the corner screaming in my car window as I drive by, or the fact that those people get to be outside getting tan when I'm not able. I think it's more the stupid people trying to advertise it though.
Seriously, you see 12 girls, aged 13-15 standing on a corner, holding a cardboard sign. I don't care if you're literate or not, you know there's a car wash going on, or some sort of pedophile's dream. If I get stopped at the light, I really don't need these girls screaming "CAR WASH!!!!" into my window. Every time it happens, I have to fight the urge to give them the finger...and that isn't a lie. It's like satan himself takes over my body, and I become filled with rage.
Yesterday, I was taking my lunch break, and drove home. On my way home, I was unfortunate enough to be stopped at a light by a car wash. Of course the girls yelled car wash at me. I had to fight the urge to show them my hand, and kept looking straight ahead. On my way back to work, I got stopped at the light again. Surprisingly, the girls didn't remember my car, and yelled that they were having a car wash again, before bursting into giggles..."oh my god, I can't believe we just yelled that loud." I ignored them again, because, that's what I do. At that moment, a 50+ year old truck driver drove by and honked at them. They all cheered and squealed in delight. They were getting hit on by a man old enough to be their grandpa! How exciting for them.
I suppressed my urge to vomit, and drove back to work. It made me wonder, why are girls in their early teens so stupid? Also, why do their parents let them stand on street corners in next to nothing like low class call girls? I just don't get it.

I'm Going Mad

2007-07-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

My show opens in less then 3 weeks. Normally at this point, I'm honing my character and tweaking my performance. Not so much this time. I have NO IDEA how to do this character. People give me ideas, but I just can't get them to come through, and it's really frustrating me. I need help, and I need it quick.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of sitting for an hour or so, trying to think of characterizations I want to use, or how I want the character to develop. I've spent the last 2 days thinking about this, and I'm not coming up with any ideas. I think I'm at the point now where I'm so stressed, I am blocking anything productive from coming into my mind. Not good.
I was thinking the other night that I should get high and see how I act(I'm doing Reefer Madness, if I haven't written that in a previous post FYI). I didn't, but it's seeming as though that may be the road I need to take. Not the best decision, but I don't know what else to do. Oh the pains of being a bad actor.

Derby

2007-07-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight marked a summer tradition for me. I went to the demolition derby at the Munger Potato Fest. Yes, every summer, with the exception of last summer(for reasons I don't remember), I go to the demolition derby there. I'm so white trash at heart, I love it.
I'm not sure what it is about derbies; the danger, the mullets, the overpriced 6-packs, but something makes me love them. I wish there was one every weekend. Alas, there isn't, so I'm forced to have only one amazing weekend every summer.
I've come to realize that I suck when it comes to picking the winning car. In fact, if you're driving in a derby, and I pick your car to win, it pretty much guarantees a disqualification of ride in an ambulance.
This year's derby was the most action packed derby I've ever been to. First, one of the cars got stuck on the girder running along side the ring. Then, one of the drivers had to be taken out of his car with the jaws of life, and then, one of the cars flipped upside down. None of these things have ever happened when I've been to a derby before. For three major events to happen all in one night was amazing, and it made me realize I still have at least one life goal to achieve. I need to drive in a demolition derby before I die. I don't care if I don't win, I just want the excitement that goes along with it. I need sponsors though. Call me if you have any extra money. I'll spray paint your name on my car.

I Did Something Stupid

2007-07-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

This week has sucked. Somehow, in the middle of July, I managed to get a cold and the flu. Only in my life. For those who are curious, I never did make it to karaoke on Sunday night. MJ and I stayed in instead. Lucky for me, because instead of having Monday off, I got called at 7:45 and asked if I could come in. Not so much fun when you're sick.
Anyhow, this morning, I was able to swallow as soon as I woke up, which was amazing since every other morning this week, it's taken 3-4 tries every morning since my throat is so swollen and sore. It put me in a good mood, which carried over into my drive to work.

I have a little bit of OCD, and give myself at least a 15 minute cushion when I need to be somewhere. I consider myself late if I don't show up at least 5 minutes early for something. Anyhow, I was sitting in my car, enjoying the frigid weather, when I thought I saw a dog running loose through one of the adjoining parking lots. It went behind trees, and I didn't see it again.

A few more minutes passed, and I figured I should get inside and get to work. I opened, so there was no one else there. As I got out of my car, one of the people who cleans our parking lot and does our lawn service pulled up and told me there was a dog running around in the other parking lot. The other parking lot is a good 200 yards away, and I really didn't have that much time to walk over there.
I asked if it was wearing a collar, and he said yes. I had hoped that it wouldn't have one on and then I wouldn't be able to identify the dog, so I could use that as my excuse to not get it. So much for that.
I hesitated, but was able to swallow, so I decided to go get it. The man must have noticed my hesitation, and offered to drive me over there. I'm not sure how I had such a large scale lapse in judgement, but I got into a car with a stranger. As soon as I did it, I realized I probably shouldn't have. Not that there was anything wrong with this person...okay, there kind of was, and I'm getting to that, but because ever since you're 6 months old, you're always told to never get into cars with strangers.

The guy started to drive me to where the dog was, and told me that it's big and mean. He knew it was mean because it growled at him. I knew it growled at him, not because he said, "the dog growled at me" but because the guy demonstrated what the dog sounded like by growling at me. I responded by moving closer to my door, to which he responded by locking them.

At this point I was feeling a little apprehensive about retrieving the dog. Not only was I likely to be mauled by it, but perhaps this man was going to bite me too. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket, ready to call anyone willing to save me.
We didn't see the dog in front of the store, so he drove around behind the store to look for it. I knew he was going to kill me back there and throw me into one of the drainage ditches. It would be hours before anyone found me, by which point I would probably be water logged and unrecognizable. He broke the awkward silence that followed his growling by telling me the stories he heard while waiting for his trial to begin when he was in court yesterday...he isn't a lawyer. I tried to feign interest, when really, I kept thinking, how did I allow myself into this mess? Part of me wanted to ask what he was on trial for, but another part of me said that I would probably be finding out soon.

We never did find the dog, and he drove me up to the front door and dropped me off, unharmed. I got inside, and realized that I have to be the dumbest person alive. Then I laughed. Mainly because I realized how judgmental and presumptuous I had been. Just because this person growled and me and had been in court the day before, didn't mean he was a bad person. Perhaps he just likes dogs, and was willing to let me get attacked by it, rather then be bit himself.

Just a quick update

2007-07-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

My life hasn't been uber exciting the last few days, so this post won't be too specific to any one thing. Just a chance to catch everyone up on the events of my last few days.

I've been sick the last 2 days with problems you don't want details on. I'm finally able to stay away from the bathroom for more then a few hours at a time. Hurray for my tummy being back to normal.

I went to see Sicko today. It was a really good movie, at least, so I thought. I was the loser who went by himself. How embarrassing. The only bad part of the movie is that my nose wouldn't stop running. I'm not sure why. I don't have a cold, and I don't feel like my allergies are a problem right now. It was just gross.

My grandma is coming into town tonight. I plan to go to the bars later tonight since I don't have to work tomorrow. Let's just say there has been quite the fair share of family drama lately, and this visit may end up being a little intense. I'm already drinking wine in preparation.

Tomorrow, I begin rehearsals for my next show, Reefer Madness. I can't wait. Well, actually, I can. Long story that I probably shouldn't write about on my blog. I feel like such a tease. That's two different stories in one post that I won't give details on. Aw, I'm so considerate to some people.

No Means No

2007-07-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

What happens when no one says no though? Apparently, you can still get into trouble for sexual harassment. That's the lesson I learned yesterday at work. This is by far the most ridiculous thing that has happened to me in a long time.

I'm not saying that there shouldn't be laws against inappropriate comments and other things going on in the work place, I just think my work handled this completely wrong. I know all of you are thinking that I did something to get in trouble for sexual harassment, but you couldn't be more wrong. Actually, one of my coworkers got in trouble for sexually harassing me.

I'm fairly laid back. If I know someone is joking, I don't care what they say to me. I'll get a good laugh out of it too. She and I have a good relationship where we can joke around with each other. She never says anything in front of clients, and I've never complained. However, she was told that if she continues to say things, she may get fired.

Again, I understand that in certain cases, someone may feel bullied into saying that they don't mind that someone said something or did something and won't admit that they are uncomfortable, but this is obviously not the case with me. Also, no one even said anything to me about it before the meeting. I found out the next day from the poor girl who got in trouble. We both laughed when she told me, but that isn't the point. I actually thought she was joking when she told me, and she thought the bosses were joking when they reprimanded her. Who would have thought that this actually isn't a joking matter?

What really bothers me is that we all get along at my job and make comments that verge on being inappropriate. When you're friends with the people outside of work too, sometimes the lines blur a little. I just don't think it's fair for someone to get in trouble for something that everyone there has done at one time or another, and for them to make it look like I complained and that is why they had to say something.

Crashed

2007-07-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

My best friend from high school's little sister got married on Friday. I wasn't invited to the wedding. I wasn't offended, but I was a little surprised. Jamie's family was like my extended family for a few years, and if for no other reason, I wanted to go and see Jamie, who had moved to China a few years ago.

I did what any self respecting person would do in this situation. I crashed the wedding. Well, not completely. See, my sister and her husband were both invited, and RSVP that they would both be there. Eric ended up not being able/wanting to go, so I went in his place. I know, it's kind of shady rationalization, but that's what I used to not feel bad about going to a wedding I wasn't invited to.

Anyhow, after getting there, I felt really bad and stupid. I wondered if my lack of being invited was actually intentional for something I may have done at some point and wasn't aware of. Thank god for the open bar. My sister told me that since the groom's family buys the alcohol, I shouldn't feel bad about drinking it, since it wasn't costing my friend's family anything.
I was by no means drunk, but I was having a good time. At one point, my sister and I left the reception to go outside and smoke. My mom was there too and decided to come out with us. For those who aren't related to me and don't know my mom, she is a goody-goody. She always tries to act like she doesn't ever do anything wrong. As were were walking out, I realized she was still holding her beer. I told her she can't bring it outside. She looked around for somewhere to put it down and I sighed. Sometimes, I just don't understand how she could have birthed me. I told her, you can bring it with you, you just have to hide it.
Outside, we ran into Jamie's cousins, whom I spent quite a bit of time with when I was younger. They were doing shots out of the back of a car. We joined them, and they warned us not to let security catch us, they had already been warned about drinking in the parking lot. A few seconds later, the security person came up to the car. I thought I was going to die laughing. My mom panicked. I seriously think she thought she may be going to jail if she got caught with her beer. Of course no one got into trouble. We were just told to put the alcohol back in the car(that of course seems safe).

We ended up leaving about an hour later. The party continued at my sister's house. My brother was in town for the wedding, and he came over with his wife and his wife's brother. I played beer pong for the first time of my life that night, and I realized that i have a natural talent for it. My brother's wife told me the secret to the game is to distract the other team when they're about to throw. I dropped my pants, but I did it too early, and they didn't mess up. They just laughed at me. We ended up losing, but not by much, which I considered a victory since my brother plays that game all the time.

Predictions

2007-07-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

The end of February, I went to New Orleans. It was a magical trip, at least from what I remember. Anyhow, the last few days, I've been thinking about a specific night from when I was down there.

I don't really believe in fortune tellers, or any of the related spiritual advisers that are lumped in that group. For whatever reason, I decided to waste $20 dollars one night and get my cards done. I had never done it before, but I figured, why not?

I've heard before that people in this profession know what they're going to say about you as soon as you walk into the room. They're able to read your body language, asses your clothes, and listen to your voice and determine where you're from, your social class, and how your mood is by your stance. I walked in and attempted to be as nondescript as I could in everything I did and said, just to see what they would say.
As I expected, my reading was very generic. However, I kept it in mind since everything that was going to happen was going to take place in the next 6 months. I was just curious to see how much of it would come true.
Apparently, I would make lots of money and find true love. Well, I hate to bring down the mood, but it's been 4.5 months, and I'm not really making any more money then before, and love sure as hell hasn't come around me.

Has anyone else ever had their palm read or cards done? I'm just wondering if they always say the same things. Also, was it actually accurate for anyone?

Did I write about this before?

2007-06-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Forgive me if I've bored you with this story before, because I think I may have. Perhaps I didn't, and only meant to at one point in my life. Regardless, I feel it's a story that needs to be shared, even if I do share it twice.
I'm by no means a whore. Okay, maybe a little bit, but not as bad as this story will lead you to believe. However, I've placed myself in odd situations before due to alcohol.

About a year and a half ago, I was kind of dating someone. It was nothing serious, and I was bored with it. Actually, the person really annoyed me, and kept showing up everywhere I went, uninvited. I figured that when I stopped answering the phone, the message would be received, but it wasn't.

Anyhow, I was out at my favorite bar, the Junction, one night with Lisa. I wasn't driving and wasn't working the next day, so I had a good time. I used to have a problem known to many as drunk dialing. I decided to call an ex that night. Lisa told me it wasn't a good idea, but I figured that I knew better and made the call. At some point during the conversation, I told the ex to come out with Lisa and me the next night.

The next night, I was getting ready to leave, and I got a call from the person I was dating/unsuccessfully trying to dump. I said that Lisa and I were going to the bar because I knew it would be a waste of my time to lie since I'm sure I'd be getting checked up later. Stupid me, I gave the invite to join us.
I picked up Lisa and was complaining about the company that was going to be joining us. She started laughing really hard and asked me if I remembered any phone calls I made the night before. That's when I remembered. I realized I was going to be having 2 dates at the same time.

It was beyond awkward for me. Lisa was loving it though. The entire night, I wanted to crawl under the table. That's when I realized that I should not be allowed to use my cell phone after a night at the bar.

K.C.

2007-06-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

I make no apologizes. I love Kelly Clarkson. I know, could I have any worse taste in music? I think she is one of the strongest singers of our time though.
Two years ago, I had the opportunity to see her in concert. I was so excited to see her. Not only because I love her so much, but also because I was going to see Clay Aiken in concert that same week...I'm a little bit of an American Idol fan, I can't help it. Well, that fell through. See Kelly outgrew the small arena tour she was going to do, and canceled her concert in Saginaw MI to reschedule it in Detroit. I can't lie, I was disappointed, but excited for her. Her career was going places.

The hightlight of my summer was going to be when I saw her in concert with Amanda in August. We had our tickets, and undoubtedly were going to be the biggest fans there. Then, the unthinkable happened. Seriously, unthinkable.

Kelly has canceled her tour for this summer. Rumor has it that ticket sales were slow. Now, I don't see how that can be possible. How can someone have the opportunity to see Kelly and not buy a ticket?

I personally blame all of you out there in blog land for ruining my summer. Obviously it wasn't Amanda and my fault for the cancellation. We supported her, we bought tickets. To all the rest of you who made my summer plans fall through, thanks.

I got hurt

2007-06-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

Last night, I endured a little bit of physical pain. I was taking my dog outside to go to the bathroom before I went to bed. I have to keep him on a leash, otherwise he runs away, so I actually have to go outside with him.
There's about 4 steps you have to go up in order to get into my house. Normally, I jump up/down them to save time. Last night, my depth perception must have been a little bit off. No, I was not drunk either, I'm just clumsy.
I made it outside alright. Peanut peed, and we were on our way back it. I jumped up the stairs, but missed.
It wasn't that I didn't jump high enough, but that I didn't jump over far enough. My toes made it onto the platform, but nothing else. As I fell back to the ground, I bent every toe on my left foot all the way backward, hit my right knee on the edge of the stairs, and somehow managed to break my middle finger on my left hand(I don't think it's really broken, but it makes for a more interesting story to say it is. Really, it just hurts right now).
Anyhow, it hurt a lot. I was actually laying on the floor of the garage for a good 15 seconds before I could actually get to my feet. The entire time I was laying there, I was swearing at the top of my lungs. My dog, always one to make sure his owner is okay, kept pawing at the door, waiting for me to get off my ass and let him inside because he knew he would get fed as soon as we were inside.

I finally was able to walk again, but I had scraped all the skin off of my knee, and it was dripping blood. I needed a bandaid. Of course, I didn't have any that were big enough, so I had to piece 5 small ones together to make a big one. Oh the agony.

Anyone Still Reading This?

2007-06-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I've been on hiatus for the last month or two because I've been taking some time to deal with me and some issues that I've been having with things in my life. I feel like my mind is clear again, and I can continue to entertain the world. I know, I just made everyone's night.
Anyhow, I've been told by many people that they think I'm stuck up when they first meet me. I'm not, it's just that I don't like to initiate conversations with people I don't know well. I don't think I'm better then them, I just don't like to bother them. Well, I think I was really rude to someone today at the mall as a result of not wanting to have an awkward conversation.
I was walking through one of the stores, and I heard someone say hi to me. It was a girl who brings her dog to my work and who did hair on the last show I did. We were walking towards eachother, and I said hi back. It didn't look like she was going to stop, so I kept my pace steady. As soon as we were about to pass eachother, she stopped, abruptly. I realized this about 2 steps too late. I did a quick about face and tried to act cool.

We talked for a few seconds, and then there was a pause. I was kind of in a hurry to begin with, and since neither of us had much to say, I decided to end the conversation by saying it was good to see you again. Of course, I said it at the exact same second she asked me a question, trying to spark another conversation. At this point, I was beyond embarrassed. She looked at me like, why are you being such a jerk, and then recovered to say that she would talk to me sometime soon, or something to that effect. I walked away, feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. I have no conversation skills, whatsoever.

Goodbye Ki-Ki

2007-05-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm distraught. My hometown American Idol, LaKisha was voted off tonight. Lakisha hails from Flint, MI. For those not familiar with Michigan geography, Flint is a mere 20 miles from my house. Lakisha is, for all practical purposes of this post, my neighbor.
I loved her and wanted her to win. Not only because she's my quasi neighbor, but also because she has talent, and always seems so grounded. Another reason, Flint has nothing going for it, and she gave them hope.
Flint is a run down city with many problems. It's on the verge of economic collapse and has the highest per capita murder rate in the country. 2007 has been kind to Flint though. Will Farrel just finished filming a movie there this week, and they could take pride in their hometown Idol.

Like I said, filming of the movie is complete, and Ki-Ki no longer is in the public eye. Poor Flint. I guess they'll just have to continue making news the old fashioned way; murders, drug busts, and arson. God love that town.

No Worries

2007-05-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that I haven't updated in almost a month, I am still alive and well. Actually, I've tried to update a few times in the last couple weeks, but my posts won't show up. I'm not really sure why. I guess it hasn't been too big of a deal as my life has been fairly unexciting lately. You haven't really missed out on any good stories. My hope is that this post will actually show up. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I'm been in an odd mood lately. I'm the type of person who doesn't feel the need to date someone to have a complete life. That's good, considering not many people would want to date me. For the last couple of weeks though, I've been feeling really clingy and that I want a relationship. What's really weird is that I don't even want a relationship so that I feel loved, I just want someone that I can love. It's really odd.

I feel like I'm going through some sort of mid-life crisis because of it. Does anyone else ever feel this way, or am I alone on this one?

Books

2007-04-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my niece's birthday party. Last year, I took her to see the live action Dora the Explorer. Not exactly my idea of fun, but she loved it. I found out that Clifford, the big red dog will be coming to the area soon, so I decided to get her tickets to see that this year. I wanted her to have something to open at the party, since last year she didn't quite understand what I was giving her. I went to Barnes and Noble to get her a Clifford book.

I'm somewhat of a regular there. I felt kind of stupid buying a children's book. When I went to check out, the man behind the counter looked at me like maybe I should be buying something a little more age appropriate. Normally, they ask me if I have their book club membership card...or something like that, I'm not sure what it's called. He didn't ask me if I had one today, and didn't ask if I wanted to get one. I think he assumed that since my reading is limited to children's books, I obviously don't buy books often. Maybe I like stories about big red dogs. Leave me alone.

Pussy Patrol

2007-04-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

My boss is spending the week in San Fransisco/Diego/Fernando...some Californian city that starts with the word San for the week. I was conned into watching her cats. I was never actually asked if I could do it, I was volunteered. Normally, watching someone's cats isn't too big of a deal, they are pretty self-sufficient, but hers are different.

There are the two cats who are completely normal, and not a big deal to take care of. The problem is the other 3 that I'm watching. When she got married almost 2 years ago, I watched her cats when she went on her honeymoon. I actually lived at her house for a week because she wanted someone there to play with them and keep them company. In the week that I was there, there was one cat whom I saw only once, and that was as he ran from the room I walked into. I've yet to see this cat since I started feeding them on Saturday. I'm always worried that he somehow managed to sneak outside when I was leaving and I would have no idea about it.

In addition to that cat, there is the 20+ year old cat, who doesn't drink enough water. In order to keep this one from getting dehydrated and dieing, I have to give him a special cat milk every morning. He will take a few drinks from it and then walk away. This morning, I couldn't find him at all, so I had to leave the milk out for him when I went to work. The milk goes bad after it's been sitting out for awhile, so I sincerely hoped he started to drink it as soon as I left and will continue to be healthy for at least a week after she gets home so it won't be my fault if something goes wrong with him.

The last cat is diabetic. He needs insulin twice a day. Giving an insulin shot isn't a big deal for me. I'm trained in that field. The problem is when he doesn't eat. Each day, he's been eating less and less. I'm supposed to continue giving the same amount of insulin though. I think he actually is eating, it's just that he eats the other cat's food, and not the food he's supposed to be eating. His glucose levels are going to be so screwed up when she gets home. I think I'm going to bring him into work tomorrow to check his levels before she gets home so there isn't an issue.

I can't wait for Saturday, when she gets home, and the cats aren't my responsibility anymore. The only problem is, I'm not really sure if she's coming home on Saturday. I think that's what she told me, but I wasn't really paying attention. I sure hope so though. I want to go out Saturday night. I don't feel like being sober so I can take care of the cats.

Why Not?

2007-03-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I'm going to begin to undertake a huge endeavor that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I'm going to start writing a book. I know, how stupid of me, since I'm not really that great of a writer. Ever since starting my blog though, it's been something that I've wanted to do. I figure it will be a good way to release some of my creative energy. Plus, I have all sorts of amazing stories that I've never shared on my blog. So, here's to my new book, the failure it will become, and the lack of ambition I will have in two days from now when I realize it was a stupid idea.

2007-03-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

God has a sense of humor when it comes to my life, but I'm not laughing. I wrote 2 weeks ago about how I need to get out of here and start my life over. I don't know what to do now.

The funny thing is, I have a job offer, which will require me to move. No, I didn't put out any applications. An old employer of mine asked me to come work for him in the southern part of the state. Currently, I'm waiting to find out about rent on the house I would be living in before going down there and finalizing everything.

The problem is that there is someone who has made this decision difficult for me. I'm ready to leave many people behind and never speak to them(pretty much one person, but whatever) again. Why did someone who would be perfect for me have to send me a mildly drunk text telling me about the crush they have on me? Now, I'm starting to second guess what I should do.

If only every circumstance was black and white. Why do there have to be so many grey areas? There are so many other factors coming into play in this decision, and I can't for the life of me figure out what the best decision is going to be for me. I only have a few days to make the decision, which is what is stressing me out. I wasn't prepared to make it this quickly, but I also know that it's something I should do.

I'm scared to move to an area I don't know, leave my family and have to start over making new friends, learning a new job, and give up theatre since there isn't one close by. On the other side, it's an amazing opportunity for me. I just don't know what to do.

Total Recall

2007-03-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

Oh how I hate my job on days like today. I opened this morning, which was bad enough in its self. I started to get sick Friday night, and wasn't really feeling too great this morning.

I was there by myself, when the local newspaper called me to ask if I knew of any pets who were sick from the recent food contamination. I had no idea what the lady was talking about, but I didn't want to look stupid. I told her I didn't. She wanted me to call her back with any names if I heard of anyone. She wanted to do an interview with them. Right, because I can legally give out names of people without their permission.

Anyhow, the day started, and I forgot about the call. Then, we got another call. This time from one of the local TV stations wanting to interview the doctor for the news. She agreed, and I remembered that I wanted to ask what was going on.

For those not familiar, there is a huge recall on certain types of dog and cat food. Most major brands have been affected by it. Apparently, something was put in with the fillers that can cause kidney failure. Not a good thing. Especially when the animals start to die, as has happened with some of them.

Anyhow, the paper ran a story on it today. What was great about it was that they were quick to list all the brands of food, and how deadly it can be, but they didn't print the phone number people were supposed to call with questions. We spent the day talking to every owner of every sick pet in the area today.

At first, I tried to be nice. What bothered me was that everyone who read the paper seemed to pick up on the fact that in a few cases, the mess up turned deadly. What no one noticed is that it has to be canned food or food in pouches. About 90% of the people had nothing to worry about because they either hadn't fed the tainted brands or were feeding hard food. It got really old, really fast. Especially when I had to listen to people describe their pet's diarrhea to me in detail for more times then I care to count, and my job isn't even to answer the phones.

As it turned out, the doctor didn't need to do her interview today. The news was able to find a local woman who's cat was on the verge of death from eating bad food, and decided her story was more informative then going with an educated person who actually could tell people what to look for and what types of food were compromised. What struck me as being the most funny about changing the interview was that there have been 10 confirmed cases in which a pet actually died in the US from this. The odds that this lady's cat was actually going to die from eating this food were slim to none. That doesn't stop the news from spreading its propaganda to the masses though. Whatever makes for good TV.

Dance Fever

2007-03-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

I can't dance, plain and simple. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just a fact of

my life. Every choreographer I've ever worked with has learned this early on, and always sticks me in the back during dance numbers. Why Tom decided to bring me up front is beyond me.

Tomorrow night, Cabaret opens. The last song has a few little dance moves in it. The moves aren't actually difficult, it's just that we've only run it twice with music, and I don't know the song at all, so I'm never sure where to come in. I thought I had it down tonight though.

There I was, up front, unable to see anyone else dancing. I was swinging my pelvis, popping my knees, all while owning the mesh halter shirt I have to wear. Then, I heard the director and choreographer laughing in the back of the theatre. I kept going, thinking to myself, someone must be messing up really bad. The thought never even occurred to me that it was me.

Finally, someone behind me whispered, Scott, we're not supposed to be dancing yet. I felt like such an idiot. I begged the choreographer to move me into the back so I could just follow everyone else. He won't. I asked if we could just cut the song from the show, and they said no. I don't know what to do. All I know for certain, if I mess up tomorrow night, you better believe I'll be doing it in style.

Untitled, as of yet

2007-03-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

My life is falling apart. I've thought this before, but this time, it actually is. Everything just seems to be going wrong and be a huge mess right now. It seems like every good thing that has happened lately has been countered by 3-4 horrible things. In the last few days, every fun/good/exciting thing that has happened to me, has been negated within 24 hours when I learn the truth behind intentions, or find out what really is happening.

I'm stuck here for 3 more weeks, finishing up a show. After that, I'm done. I want to move somewhere where I can get a new job, new friends, and a new life. Yes, that is my new way of dealing with problems, I'm running away from them. Things have become too screwed up for me to have the energy or desire to try to fix them, only to have the problems come back a few weeks later.

So, anyone in a warm climate who knows of apartments for rent and job opportunities for me, let me know.

Betrayal

2007-03-09T21:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I think that I'm too nice. Try not to laugh too hard at that comment. I just wish that I had the guts to say what I feel and actually act on my feelings. As the saying goes though, the good guys always finish last.
Being careful not to divulge too many details of what I'm talking out for fear of the reproctions, I have never felt more betrayed then I did today. The irony of the situation is that I should have known better. Of the two people responsible, my track record with the one has proven that I shouldn't trust the one. Instead, I decided that I would give this person the benefit of the doubt and be friend again. Right, that worked out well.
So, that leads me to tonight. A bottle of wine later, I still can't get over how hurt I am by it. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the person completely stabbed me in the back, won't even recognize my existence today thinking that I'm not intelligent enough to realize what's going on, or actually thinking I could trust that person to be a friend.
Honestly, how many times should you forgive someone before you realize it isn't worth it to keep them in your life anymore? I suppose I've done this about 3 times too many with this person. I wish I was a stronger person who could actually say what I thought to this person. I'm not, so I'll resort to my blog, omitting crucial details and names in order to protect the reputations of all involved.
On a lighter note, I saw a clip today of Joss Stone giving her opinion of Paris Hilton today. She said something to the effect of that when you have nothing better to sell then sex, you may as well sell your sex. Seems completely out of place in this post, huh? Not really.

It's been awhile.

2007-03-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've been home for about a week now, but I've just been trying to catch up on sleep and alcohol withdraw. I realized that I never wrote about the concert I went to the night before I went to New Orleans though. I had meant to, but kind of forgot about it in the excitement of being down south.
I went to see Josh Groban last week. This was my second time seeing him, and let me say, he never disappoints. I wish I had a fraction of his talent.
I was kind of tired when I got there, and wasn't really too excited to see the concert to be perfectly honest. I still had to finish packing, and just wanted to go to bed. The concert started though, and I remembered why I love listening to him sing so much.
Just as exciting, he brought his violinist, Lucia Migarelli, back again. She is by far one of the most talented musicians I've ever heard. Last time I saw him in concert, she played Bohemian Rhapsody on her violin, and it was amazing. She did another song this time, which was equally impressive, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was.
With that said, I'm about to be off to bed.

Day 3

2007-02-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was exciting. I went to my first(and probably my last) crawfish boil. I wasn't sure how I would do with it. I made up my mind before getting here that no matter how gross it seemed, I was going to eat one of them. I almost went back on my word when I got there and saw the live crawfish. I sucked it up like a champ, and ate one. Actually, it was pretty good. I ended up eating a few more, just for the fun of it.
We ended up going on one of the haunted tours last night. It was pretty cool. You got quite the history lesson and learned stories behind a lot of the old buildings in the area. We couldn't have too late of a night because Selena, my brother's girlfriend, had to work early this morning. We stayed on Bourbon St for a few hours though and got our drink on and went shopping for lingerie. I don't think anyone bought any, but I could be mistaken.
I did make a big purchase last night. I bought a lighter for $80. Before you judge me for it, they were asking for $125, but my sister being the heckler she is, got them to come down to $80. It also has a memory card on it, so I can use it with my digital camera. I've been needing a memory card for a long time, so this purchase was actually perfect for me. Hopefully I won't lose it in a bar as soon as I get home.

New Orleans, Part 2

2007-02-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired, I don't feel like updating. For the sake of my faithful readers, I'm willing to write a quick post.
I rode in a taxi for the first time in my life today. I went on a swamp tour, and pretended to be married to my sister. Again, too tired to get into details. I'll have a great post when I actually get home. Until then, I'm going to a crawfish boil tomorrow. Not too sure how I feel about that yet. Goodnight to everyone.

Missed Flights, Richard Simmons, and Bourbon St; New Orleans, Part 1

2007-02-22T21:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, I made it safely to NOLA. I've been having an amazing time, but it was difficult to get here. I checked the weather reports earlier in the week. It looked like Michigan was warming up, so there would be no problems with getting off on time. What I didn't realize, was the warmer weather would bring fog. Our flight was delayed for over an hour.
That delay wouldn't have been too big of a problem, other then we didn't really have much time to make our connecting flight in Memphis. Needless to say, we missed our flight. We had a wonderful time in the Memphis airport, which smells like a combination of barbecue and public toilets. Thank god for airport bars. When we got off our flight, we ran to our terminal to see if we could still make our flight, and who should be running alongside us, but fitness guru, Richard Simmons. Yes, he was in the airport, complaining of the smells while wearing his black spandex shorts and a red bathrobe.
Five hours later, we got on a plane that took us to New Orleans. Today was incredible. We went with my jackass of a brother to his job, so that we would be in the downtown area. From there, we had breakfast at a local restaurant that is famous for its food, but the name escapes me at the moment. The aquarium was our next stop. Of course, we ended up on Bourbon St at 11 this morning.
I love this city. No laws against open containers, strip clubs all over, and above all else, warm weather. I can't wait to see what the next few days have in store for us.

I'm About to be Done With This

2007-02-20T09:08:00.000-08:00

The new blogger is getting on my last nerve. Every time I try to do something, it tells me to sign in with my google account. I've signed in 3 times now. I'm about to quit. I tried to leave a comment on Amanda's blog, and it wouldn't let me because I hadn't activated my account through my email. I went to do it, and the url they gave me had expired, so they had to send me a new one. Now, I'm just tired of being online, so I'm not leaving comments.

In other news, happy fat Tuesday to everyone. So far, I've eaten a salad today. Not really the whole experience that today is supposed to bring. I'll likely be taking a hiatus from my blog for the next few days. I'm going across state tonight to see Josh Groban in concert, and tomorrow, I'll be down in New Orleans. Say a prayer for MJ and me tomorrow at about noon our time. I hate to fly, and have been nervous about it since yesterday.

What the F?

2007-02-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what's going on tonight, but I'm getting pissed. I got online to write a post about how much I love Clint Eastwood. I decided to check my myspace first, got frustrated, came here, and now am all out pissed off. Three posts in one, here we go.
Clint Eastwood; loved his direction/acting in Million Dollar Baby. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. Perhaps because my twin stars in it, I'm not sure. He just has this amazing ability to direct a story and make it seem personal to the viewer.
I rented Flags of our Fathers tonight. It sounded interesting, so why not? I had no idea he directed it until the credits ran at the end. I don't always like war movies, but this one touched me(in a non-sexual way) and made me an emotional mess by the end. Kudos to my new favorite director.
Topic number two is myspace. This actually started last night when I tried to log on. I'm not sure if it's my computer, or myspace itself that is the problem. When I log on, it won't let me get to my homepage. I can search for myself after logging in and then view my profile, find a friend, go to their page, and then send a message. I can't however, get to my homepage to see if I have any new messages, friend requests, bulletins, or profile views. It's killing me having to use all these extra steps to check my mail, etc. Is anyone else having this problem?
My last topic tonight deals with good old blogger. I tried to log in tonight in order to make this new post, and it wouldn't let me unless I updated my account. Obviously, I went through the process, or I wouldn't be able to entertain all of you with this post. I'm worried that I'm going to lose all my previous posts and/or not be able to post comments on other people's blogs anymore. I need a vacation, life is stressing me too much. Then I remember, I'm going on va-cay to New Orleans in 3 days.

Stupid Holidays

2007-02-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who still reads my blog. I hate this holiday more then anything. It's such a commercial holiday that tries to get people to buy cards and flowers. The marketing genius of Hallmark.
Actually, I would like Valentine's Day a lot more, but it just reminds me of how depressing my life is. Alone, but now the world needs to rub it in...I'm actually very light hearted as I write this, I realize that this probably sounds serious, but it isn't.
Life wasn't always this way. A few years ago, I had a stand in Valentine's Day date. Amanda and I shared a few Feb 14ths together, but alas, she has gone and gotten herself engaged. I need someone to fill the void. Does anyone out there want to be my Valentine? It's only a one day a year obligation(I give good presents).

Modeling

2007-02-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

I did a little bit of modeling tonight. Not really. They needed publicity shots for Cabaret, so I got to partake in them.
I got dressed as a Nazi, and had my picture taken in a couple of different poses. I was told that I would be photoshopped into a bunch of Nazi men. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. It was uncomfortable enough to have my picture taken with my hand doing the Nazi salute. Having that turned into hundreds of images of me doing that just doesn't sit well with me. I know that if I ever become famous, these pictures are going to resurface, and ruin my career. That things I do for art.
In completely unrelated news, my hand is getting worse. The pain is intensifying with every minute. I'm wondering if I should go to the emergency room for it. I couldn't sleep last night because of it. I think I'll wait to see if it feels any better in the morning, and them make a decision based on that.

Thumbs Down

2007-02-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

I'm in severe pain right now. Last week, I tried to pick something up, and it poked me under my fingernail. It hurt when it happened, but I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. It started to bruise, and the last 2 days, my thumb has started to swell.
If you've never had swelling under a fingernail, count yourself lucky. The pain goes all the way down my wrist. My entire thumb is swollen right now. It feel like my nail is going to pop off at any second, which would be great, because it would relieve the pressure.
I would write a longer post, but it hurts my thumb every time I hit the spacebar, so I can't. Everyone say a prayer for my thumb tonight. Hopefully the swelling will go down, and I'll be fully functional in the next few days.

Congrats

2007-02-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

I did it tonight. I got engaged! I know most of you are thinking, I didn't even know you were dating anyone. Well, I'm not. Actually, I didn't really get engaged. I made a pact with one of my friends.
We decided that if we weren't married by the time we were 28, we would get married to eachother. Actually, Shannon wanted it to be 30, but I told her I already have a the same arrangement with one of my friends from high school from when we turn 29. We had to do some quick math, and 28 is what we came up with.
Start planning for the wedding of the century. Only 3 years to build up your alcohol tolerance. Our wedding is going to be off the hook.

Vagisil

2007-01-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

For some odd reason, I keep seeing commercials on TV for Vagisil. I've known about Vagisil for a long time, but for some reason, I noticed something odd about it yesterday. Am I alone in thinking the name of a product used on "special" feminine parts shouldn't have VAG in it?
It kind of grosses me out. I think they should rename it. Something like "My Special Flower-isil" would be so much better. I hate it when people say vag or worse yet, vagina. I refuse to say that word. It's so gross.
Everyone, try to think of a new name for Vagisil. Once a more suitable name has been picked, I will personally rally to get the name of it changed. Who's with me?

Congratulations Jennifer Hudson!

2007-01-23T20:22:00.000-08:00

Actually, this post has nothing to do with Jennifer's Oscar nomination for Dreamgirls. I just didn't want to dedicate an entire post to it, so that's all the love I'm giving her.
Today after work, I went to the video store. Big shocker, there wasn't really anything worth renting. I ended up getting Saw 3. It was about as bad as the second one. If only someone had warned me before I wasted my time and money.
Anyhow, most of the people at the video store are on a first name basis with me. I got a new girl tonight when I was checking out though. She looked me up in the computer system, and gave me a weird look. She hesitated for a few minutes before asking if I was really Scott. I told her I was.
She looked at me kind of funny again and told me there is no way they have my age correct in the computer. I got kind of annoyed when she said that. I'm constantly having to tell people that I am indeed as old as I am, even though I look like I'm 12. It gets old, really fast. Anyhow, I decided to be nice and gave her my birthdate so she wouldn't be embarrassed. I'm so glad I didn't get snippy and tell her I'm older then I look, like I wanted to. According to the computer system, I'm 105 years old.

Step, Ball, Change

2007-01-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been an exciting one in the Warnke household. My parents are getting hardwood floors put in. Basically, that means that the kids are all installing it for them. By the kids, I mean my brother in laws, while my sisters and I watch because I have no idea what to do. Power tools scare me, and I tend to make more work for everyone if I try to put the flooring down.
I was reduced to tearing up carpet for the majority of the time. Once my job was completed, we ran into a snag, and work was halted for about an hour, perhaps longer. The entire living room was nothing but the wood sub-floor. I decided to entertain.
I busted out my tap shoes to dance for my family. What I thought was funny, they found annoying. It doesn't help that I don't know how to tap, so I just kept stomping really loud and doing the same steps over and over.
I've decided to build my own dance studio in my house. I need somewhere to practice my tap dancing. That way, the next time someone needs their floor redone, I will be ready to entertain.

Keep Some Distance

2007-01-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

Last night, I did something amazing. I chaperoned a dance for the 7th and 8th graders at my church. As if I wasn't feeling old enough as it is, being a chaperone just pushed me over the edge.
I remember when I used to go to those dances. I thought they were so much fun. No one really danced, except for an occasional slow song, but we thought we were so cool to be out on a Saturday night in a social setting. Drama always ensued, and I was ready to be the moderator for any fights that may break out.
Actually, there was no need for me to be there. I only had to break up one fight, and it wasn't even a fight. Two boys were goofing around kicking each other. It was all in fun, but I had to tell them to stop. I tried to act tough when I told them to knock it off, and they probably thought I was such an ass, but really, I couldn't have cared less if they started doing it again as soon as I walked away. I wonder if that's how the chaperones felt when I was at those dances. Thinking about that makes my head spin though.
I figured that by the end of the night, we would have to turn hoses on some of the couples during the slow dances. If you want to get pregnant, that's fine, but just don't do it when I'm responsible for you. Well, it turns out we had nothing to worry about. I was actually laughing at how the kids danced. If there was a couple slow dancing, they would stand an arms length apart. None of them would look at each other, and normally, there was a third person standing next to them, talking to them so there was a distraction and no real conversations were needed. Aww, young love.
By the second hour of the dance, I was ready to pass out from boredom. My sister and I decided to entertain ourselves and dance. They kept playing old school Britney, Backstreet Boys, and N'sync, songs from our high school days. We wanted to bust a move to them. We both walked out to the dance floor and stopped at the same time. We realized that we don't know how to dance, unless we dance dirty, which probably wouldn't be a good idea. We ended up walking off the floor without dancing.

Dancing Through Life

2007-01-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

Typically, when I make my way to the dance floor, you can rest assured that I've had enough to drink. I hate to dance. Actually, I don't mind dancing, it's just that I don't have any talent when it comes to busting a move, so I sit and watch.
Last night, I went out with my sisters and a few friends. None of us had to work today, so why not? After 1.25 beers, we decided to switch bars. I knew that my sister wanted to go to the other bar to dance, and I wasn't too excited about it. After all, I wasn't drunk enough to dance, and I didn't want to be in a loud bar where you can't talk. I went anyway.
After being there for about 2 minutes, I decided to dance. I'm not really sure why. I had an amazing time though. Shannon and I made up some killer dance routines. Remind you to show them to you the next time you see me. No one else was on the dance floor but us, so we had room to rip it up.
Later in the night, when I actually was to the point that I didn't care anymore, Shannon tried to keep me on the dance floor by telling me that I actually am a good dancer. I laughed at her. I told her I knew what she wanted, and if she wanted me to continue dancing, I needed another beer.

Trashy Whore

2007-01-11T22:43:00.000-08:00

In the last few weeks, I've become the person I've hated. Where have my morals gone? No, I'm not sleeping around. The thing is, every time I go out or meet someone who talks to me during the last few weeks, I think that they are interested. What is wrong with me? I need to realize that a friendly person isn't going to just offer up an invitation to go home. I need to go to bed, but I'm just so confused right now, and so is everyone that was out with me tonight.

New Shoes

2007-01-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

I spend most of my day on my feet. I'm forced to wear work issued shoes, which aren't the most comfortable things in the world. Due to this, I've become accustomed to wearing uncomfortable shoes. It's just part of my everyday routine to wear shoes that hurt. I'm not complaining, it's actually a great thing for me.
On Saturday, I went to the mall. There was a huge sale going on. My favorite store had an amazing pair of shoes for 75% off. I was willing to pay full price for them, so obviously the added bonus of them being on sale made me realize that God indeed wanted me to have the shoes.
The problem was that the pair on display was the last pair in the store. I'm not above wearing the display shoes. Spray a bunch of disinfectant in them, and you're good to go. The problem was that the shoes are 2 sizes smaller then what I wear. I tried them on anyway, and figured that since I've worn shoes more uncomfortable then those before, I would buy them.
After wearing them for a few hours, I no longer can feel my feet because they don't get any circulation, so it really doesn't matter. I wore them today and got my first compliment. I love my fashion sense.
When I wore them tonight, I wore them to audition for Cabaret. I wanted to look good, and I'm always willing to sacrifice my well being for clothing. However, when your audition is also having a dance audition, it's always a good idea to wear shoes that fit.
I came close to killing myself a few times. I'm not a dancer, and never pretend to be. Dancing becomes more difficult when you can't feel your feet. Also, the combination of movement and my rising body temperature, made my feet swell. To be honest, I'm not sure I can get the shoes off right now. Regardless, my feet looked amazing tonight.

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

2007-01-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited. I got my tickets to go to New Orleans last night. In a month and a half, I'll be down south, enjoying the aftermath of Mardi Gras...or however it is spelled, French was never my best subject.
I was actually supposed to be down there for Mardi Gras, but since there were scheduling conflicts, my sister and I are going to get down there the day after it ends. I'm actually okay with that. I think the festivities may have been a bit much, even for me. I can't wait to get down there. I'll get to see my big brother again. Hurray!

No Sticks

2007-01-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

My dad got a new car this past week. Actually, it's a used car, but it's new to him. You know how that goes. Anyhow, my sister went out to lunch with my family yesterday, and she asked him about it. He gave her the keys and told her to try it out. The car was at the house, and so she thought, why not?
The problem is, the car is a stick. Molly kind of knows how to drive one, but hasn't done it in a long time. We decided to go for a ride together.
I got in the car, and she said, "This car is a piece of crap, it won't start." Mind you, I have no idea how to drive a stick, but I knew you have to put the clutch in to start it. I laughed and told her that. She tried again, and again, it didn't start. I looked over and she had the gas pushed all the way down. I couldn't stop laughing.
Finally, she figured out what pedal to use and the car started. She put it in reverse, and the car stalled out. We figured at this point, we probably shouldn't drive the car because she was going to ruin it. Instead of getting out, we decided to have one last go at it.
This time, we backed it up about 3 feet and got it into the middle of the drive way before it stalled. I told her just to leave it where it was and we would leave. She wanted to put it back where it was.
Literally, about 10 minutes later, she managed to move the car the three feet she had driven it, and we left it there. Later last night, Molly called my dad for something and went on and on about how much she loves the new car and how it drives great.

The Day That You Were Born

2007-01-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

When I was a wee lad, my mom used to sing to me. She isn't the best singer in the world, but it never mattered. I still remember her singing to me when I was 3 and 4 years old. Perhaps that is where my love for singing comes from, but probably it isn't.
I hate it when I get a song stuck in my head. It's so annoying to be walking around having the same song repeating over and over in your mind. No matter what you do, you keep hearing it over and over.
For the last few weeks, I've been getting one of the songs my mom used to sing to me stuck in my head. I have no idea why. I haven't heard it recently. It will just pop in my head and stay there for a few hours. What's truly irritating about it is that I don't know the name of the song or who sings it, and I only know three lines of the song. Yes, for hours and hours, all that runs though my head is, "On the day that you were born, the angels got together, and decided to create a dream come true. So they sprinkled star dust(?) in your hair and...." That's where the song stops; abruptly after the word and. I don't know anything other than that. To be honest, I'm not sure if those are even the correct words and if I have the correct tune in my head.
If anyone knows the name of this song, and/or who sings it, let me know(I'm counting on you Amanda). I figure that if I have to have it stuck in my head, I should learn the whole song so that at least it doesn't repeat as frequently.

'07 is Going to be My Year

2007-01-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

I'm worried that people who are involved with this story may end up reading this post, so I have to keep it vague. If you want more details, give me a call or send an email.
By the year's end, things were going well for me. All the drama I had been going through was ending. I decided that this year, I'm going to have an amazing year and just let go of everything that has been bothering me, and start over.
Let me just be clear, the first hour and a half of this year was amazing. No stress or drama. That's how long it lasted though. An hour and a half. Again, can't go into details, but it's funny, in a sick sort of way. Sometimes I think life would just be easier without emotions.

Like a Dream

2007-01-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

I saw Dreamgirls last week. I had been waiting for someone to be willing to go with me. Friday night, I decided I didn't care anymore. I would go by myself if I had to. Luckily, MJ decided she would go with me.
I LOVE Jennifer Hudson. She was one of my favorites during her season of American Idol. It pained me that she was voted off so early. She's got mad talent and proved herself to be a bigger star then the forgettable Fantasia who won that year(incidentally, Fantasia also auditioned for the role of Effie, and obviously was passed over for Jennifer).
I had read the reviews, and was expecting Jennifer to be great. I wasn't prepared for her though. Anyone who has heard her sing before, knows she has an amazing voice, but I wasn't sure she would be able to pull off her role.
She blew me away. Her acting was more then adequate. What really got me was her use of her voice and facial expressions when she sang. She put so much feeling into her songs it was almost unbelievable. In fact, when she sang And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going, I was completely enthralled and couldn't move. The entire audience actually burst into applause at the end of the song. It was unreal.
What to say about Beyonce? I loved to hate her in the movie. I don't know if that's what she was really going for, but her character just made me angry in the movie. How can she do that to her friend? Bitch. Although, her singing and acting just didn't compare to Jennifer.
Like Amanda said on her blog, if you're going to see this movie, you have to see it in the theatre. I'm worried it will lose some of its magic on the small screen.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I know everyone has been upset with my lack of posts the last few weeks. I've just been busy and not in a creative mood. One of my resolutions is to update my blog more this year. More to come with that in the coming days. Hope everyone had a good New Year's Eve.

Small Town Celebrity

2006-12-17T18:52:00.000-08:00

When I first started doing shows, it was fun when people would recognize me. I loved it when people would ask me if I had been in a show. It made me feel important. Now, I hate it when it happens.
Today, I went to Barnes and Noble to get some new books. I hate going to stores this time of year if I don't have to. I couldn't get down any of the aisles, and people kept bumping into me. Finally, I found 2 books that I wanted. I went to buy them.
As I was checking out, the man behind the counter gave me a funny look. It made me a little uncomfortable because I wasn't sure if there was something hanging from my nose. Finally, he said to me, "Weren't you in that show?"
I knew immediately what show he was talking about; Rocky Horror. For whatever reason, I remembered seeing him in the audience one of the nights. I didn't respond, but turned bright red. He then said, "Rocky Horror, right?" I told him I was, and I was really embarrassed that he was asking me about it since my costume was so trashy(I will never live that show down, I'm sure of it). I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
He told me how he loved the show, etc. I said thanks, and my face became more red. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Next time I do a show, someone remind me that my costume needs to completely cover me so I don't run into situations like this again.

The Newbies

2006-12-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

For some reason, getting my oil changed on my car always causes anxiety attacks. There's something about sitting in my car while people work on it that makes my blood pressure rise. I put off getting my oil changed for as long as I possibly can because it's such a horrible experience for me. It's actually humorous since there is no reason for me to feel like this, but I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack every time I'm driving to get it done. I got my oil changed today, and when I got to the mall 10 minutes later to do some Christmas shopping, I was still shaking. It's like I have some odd, inexplicable phobia.
Anyhow, I always want my oil change to go as fast as possible so I can get out of there. When I arrived today, there weren't any other cars waiting, so I figured it would be a quick in and out visit for me. It would have been, but I had a new person working on my car. He was being trained, which was fine with me, but it made it kind of awkward.
His trainer was pretty much walking him through everything as he did it. I guessed I was one of his first cars. I had my window down on my car so they could talk to me and I could pay. When everything was done, the trainer up to my window and stood right next to me. He told the new person to tell me to turn on my car so they could see if my oil gauge was working. After he told him to tell me to turn it off, he told him to tell me to turn my car off.
It was really odd because I obviously heard the trainer telling the guy to tell me what to do. The trainer was standing closer to me then the new guy. I didn't know if I was supposed to act like I hadn't heard the trainer and wait for the new guy to tell me what to do, or just do it when I first heard what was going on. Whatever, I have 3 months before I have to deal with that again.

Discounts, Pictures, and Urban legends Exposed

2006-12-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

I wish I were a Bronner. I want discounts at the world's largest Christmas store, and to have my picture displayed in the entry way of Bronner's Christmas Wonderland. Dietrich Bronner, grandson to Wally Bronner, and one of the managers at the Temple told me tonight he can get me a discount on Christmas ornaments if I want. Score! One problem solved, only one to go.
He also told me that if I got my picture taken with a famous person and he was in the picture too, they would hang it up at Bronners. As luck would have it, Jim Brickman, pianist extrodinare was playing at the Temple tonight and was having a meet and greet after. Christa and I went to find him so I could realize my life long dream of having a picture in Bronner's. Somehow, in the confusion, we lost Dietrich. I'm sure it was an accident on his part.
Anyhow, a month or so ago, I was told a story about a secret slide in the Temple. No one has ever seen it, it's supposedly located behind a locked door that doesn't have a key. The story itself is pretty funny. The alleged slide was used during drunken initiations from the Shriners years ago(the Temple was built/used by the Shriners early on...I'm not really sure what they had to do with the theatre, but they were a big part of it).
Everyone knows where the locked door is. It's in one of the back hallways on the second floor. Legend has it that the slide leads to the stage. Anyone with common sense would say, "Why has no one ever seen the slide if it goes onto the stage?" Well, as the story is told, the slide is actually very short, and there is a big drop at the end of it. Did anyone die using it? Why is it such a secret? What padded their landing? Does it really exist? These were my thoughts when I first heard the story. Then, I realized it can't be true. There is no reason for there to be a slide in a theatre, and if there was, people would know about it.
As Christa and I were passing the door, I asked her if she had heard about the slide behind the door. She said that she not only knew about it, but had seen it. I knew she was lying, no one knows where the key is to unlock the door. We decided to open it anyway.
The door has a bar across it, and is padlocked. However, one of the hinges the bar goes through is loose, and I was able to maneuver it enough to get it open. I about peed myself. There really is a slide in the Temple. It really is short, and it really does lead to the stage. It was blocked off with a wall, so we decided to figure out where the slide actually comes out. We went downstairs into the theatre to "clean." We pretended to sweep so we could find the opening.
Backstage, in the brick wall, there is a section of bricks about 15-20 feet up that are a slightly different color then the rest of the bricks. On the bottom of the patch, you can see hinges. I'm so excited about this. I never really thought the slide existed, and neither did anyone else. What kind of crazy things were the Shriners doing back in the day? I need to find a huge pillow, put it under the slide and try it out for myself. I can't wait to try it.

Kids

2006-12-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

I really don't like little kids. I know, I'm a horrible person, but I can't help it. I grew up in a family with 8 children, so I figure I paid my dues when I grew up and don't want to ever have to take care of someone else's kids if I can help it. The exception of course is my nieces and nephew. When it comes to children I'm not related to, I want nothing to do with them. They are whiney, dependent, and have snot coming out of their noses; things that I don't want to deal with.
Despite how much I can't stand children, I found myself babysitting this afternoon. As a favor to my older sister, I helped her watch about 20 kids at my church today. Even though I go out of my way to ignore kids whenever possible, they love me. I've never understood it.
One thing I will NEVER do under any circumstances is change a diaper for someone I don't know. That is the nastiest thing I can think of. Like I said, when it comes to family members, it's completely different, but not some random person from the streets kid. This was the predicament I was in today.
I had been babysitting for about an hour(about 59 minutes too long for me), when one of the kids wet himself. He had a younger brother and older brother there. I was sitting with my sister and my brother in law when it happened. The older brother told us the middle child needed to be changed. I asked him if he was going to do it. He's about 12, he should be able to. He said no. Sucks for the kid, because I wasn't going to do it.
Anyhow, there were 5 adults there. Of the 5 of us, the younger brother, who can't be more then a year old, brought a clean diaper and wet wipes to me. He tried to hand them to me, pacifier in mouth and all, and I looked at him like he was crazy. When he didn't pick up on my body language, and continued to hold the toiletries out to me, I decided to be a little more direct with my approach. I looked him in the eye, and said no.
He had a confused look on his face after I said this, so I repeated myself. I figured it was time this kid realized the world doesn't always go out of it's way to help him. My sister told me I was a horrible person, so I told her to change the diaper. She refused. And what? It seems I'm not the only one not willing to get hepatitis from a stranger, especially when I'm volunteering my time.

Quotes

2006-12-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

Today, I had the day off, so I did a bunch of Christmas shopping. I was proud of myself. I only bought two things for myself. One of the things was new music for Katie and me to play on Christmas Eve, so it didn't really count.
Anyhow, I also needed to shop around for car insurance. I wasn't really looking too forward to that. One, I didn't want to have to pay a lot for insurance, and two, I have no idea what most of the insurance terms are actually talking about. I was actually pleasantly impressed with Matt, my insurance person who did all the work for me to get me a cheap quote.
The thing about Matt that I liked was his complete disregard for professionalism. He was asking me if I had any accidents, DUI'S, tickets, etc. I told him no to everything(surprisingly, I've managed to keep a clean driving record, despite my inability to follow any sort of traffic laws). He then asked me if I had a something 22. I hesitated, then said no, then said, well maybe. See, I have no idea what the 22 thing that he was asking is.
He laughed and asked me again. Again, I hesitated, then, I told him I have no idea what it is. He laughed and said, if you don't know what it is, you don't have one. For the record, I still don't know what it is. Hopefully I don't really have one. I'm assuming it's something bad, in which case, let's just hope I don't have one and if I do, the insurance company doesn't find out about it.
He continued to take my information. Mid sentence, he stopped and excused himself. I hadn't heard him burp or anything, so I just assumed he looked away from his computer and lost his spot. Nope, he told me he had just hiccuped. Good for you, I just want my quotes. Rather then continue with our phone call like a normal man would, he went into a brief discourse about how he hates it when he hiccups on the phone. He even asked me if I hated it when I did it. Now, I'm sure that at some point in my life, I've had a hiccup when I'm talking to someone, but I don't remember it. Instead, I just said yes. I figured it was easier that way.
He finished by asking me if I wanted him to sign me up for the insurance he had found. I told him I wasn't ready yet, I still needed to check with a few more places. He told me to make sure I call and let him know either way, or he will be calling me every day. Matt, where I come from, that's called stalking, and that isn't legal. Whatever, he found me the cheapest insurance, so I'll probably be calling him tomorrow.

Too Much Time

2006-12-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

For four months straight, I worked almost 80 hours a week between my jobs and shows. Factor in a few hours every night going out with friends, and I was constantly on the go. The last few weeks, things have slowed considerably. It was fun at first, but now I'm just bored.
If I spend one more night renting a movie, sitting in front of the computer, reading, or writing in my journal, I think I may go crazy. I have never felt as unproductive or lazy as I have the last few days.
It isn't that no one wants to go out with me, I just don't feel like going to bars as often as I used to anymore. I'm growing up, what can I say. I've promised my friends to put my sobriety on hold and join them at the bars this week.
I want more though. I need a new hobby. Any suggestions? There aren't any auditions in the near future that look interesting to me, so that's out of the question. I hate cold weather, so winter activities are not an option. Perhaps I will start a club of some sort and hold nightly meetings. Perhaps not. I need some suggestions or else everyone will be subjected to my boring blogs because I no longer do anything exciting.

Christmas Time

2006-12-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

Break out the tinsel and holly, Christmas time is approaching. Tomorrow is the kickoff to the Christmas season for me. No, I'm not going to begin shopping for presents, that's something I do the week before. I've already bought Christmas cards, although they are still sitting in my car, waiting to be filled out. The Christmas preparations don't really begin with me until I break out the trumpet and start practicing carols.
Tomorrow, Katie and I have our first Christmas Carol rehearsal. I haven't touched my trumpet since last Christmas Eve, so it will be fun. Hopefully my lungs and lips will hold up for our rigorous rehearsal tomorrow. I can't lie, the first time we practice each year, we end up playing for about 5 minutes before I'm physically incapable of squeezing my lips tight enough to produce any notes anymore.
Perhaps I should spend some time tonight looking for my trumpet and sheet music. I have no idea where they are. There was talk tonight at dinner that Katie and I may even dress alike on Christmas Eve for our concert. Regardless, I hope to improve my posture this year. Don't think I forgot about the comments you all left on my blog last year saying my posture was horrible while I was playing. I will remind Amanda and Dustin of their promise to buy me a music stand. Still waiting for that one.

Who Is It?

2006-11-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday, my sister has family night with her husband's family. Eric and I were friends growing up, and I know his family very well. I get invited every Thursday, but have yet to attend. My sister and I joke about how his family loves us more then ours since we never get invited to anything with our family.
Anyhow, family night is a big drinking party; this much I know for a fact. The funny part of it is that Eric's mom was also my teacher when I was in the 8th grade. I still call her teach when I see her.
I called Molly tonight when she was there to tell her a funny story. She told me I should go over, but I said no. I was still in my work clothes and had just rented a movie. I couldn't possibly. We talked for a few minutes and then hung up.
A few minutes later, my phone rang again. It was my sister's number, but when I answered it, it wasn't Molly on the other end. It was my old teacher. It was obvious she had been drinking some. She called to tell me I should come over for family night.
I love my life. Only I will get drunk phone calls from my 8th grade teacher. God bless her.

Too Many of Me

2006-11-29T19:41:00.000-08:00

Out of sheer boredom, I did a search on myspace to see if there was anyone else on there who shared my name. There were a few profiles...I didn't pay that much attention to see how many there actually were. What was really odd is that one of the people doesn't really live too far from me.
I kind of makes me feel weird. I don't like knowing that there is someone who goes by my name living in the same state as me. I was going to add him as a friend and tell him he has the same name as me. We would become instant best friends, I'm sure. I didn't though. I feel like he knows too much about me as it is since we share a name. I didn't want to give him cause to try and steal my identity.

Can I Really Do It?

2006-11-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to be nice to strangers. It's not a feeling I get often, but I decided to go with it. My hair was getting long, and I decided I was going to grow my hair long so that I could donate it to Locks For Love.
I knew you had to donate at least 10 inches of hair in order to do it, but I didn't realize just how much hair that is. The last week or so, I've wanted to cut off my hair because it's too long and is bothering me. I just measured it. I'm really bad at gauging length. I thought it would be about 4.5-5 inches by now. It's barely 3 inches.
I held the measuring tape up to my scalp to see just how long my hair would be before I had the minimum amount to donate. Hum, I guess 10 inches will be a little longer then I originally thought. I didn't plan this too well.
Say a prayer that my vanity doesn't win me over and I actually go through with it. I feel the need to do some good in the world.

White Christmas

2006-11-26T19:35:00.000-08:00

After a rough few days, I just wanted to do something to get my mind off of everything and relax today. I had the perfect solution. Watch my all time favorite Christmas movie.
God love the Temple Theatre for showing White Christmas every year. I love that movie. I just wanted to sit in the dark for a couple of hours and drink my hot chocolate laced with peppermint schnapps. Every time I see this movie, I remember why I love it so much. It's a pity that I feel as though I can only watch it during Christmas time.
Anyhow, like I said, I just wanted to get my mind off of everything that's been going on in my life the last few months, but it wasn't happening. I've been an emotional wreck lately. It was bad enough when I started crying at work yesterday, but I couldn't take the movie.
There aren't really any especially touching scenes in the movie, but I started welling up at least 4 times. I kept praying that my sister wouldn't look in my direction when it happened and ask me what the hell was wrong with me...although she knows, so she probably wouldn't have. I think I just need to be sedated or something.

8 Hours

2006-11-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

I decided to do a little experiment with myself this week. I decided that no matter what it took, I would get 8 hours of sleep every night this week. No matter what, I vowed to make it through the entire week before I decided if it was worth it or not.
It isn't as easy as it sounds. I'm a night person. I like to stay up late reading, watching movies, or updating my blog. It takes a lot of self control for me to get in bed by 11.
I was expecting all these great things to happen from all the extra sleep I would be getting. I was wrong. After two full nights of sleep, I feel like crap. It seems like the more sleep I get, the more my body wants. I've been dragging all day long for the last two days, and never seem to fully wake up. What's wrong with me?

I'm Never going to Live this Down

2006-11-20T19:18:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was Lisa and my annual birthday extravaganza. What I don't understand is why I never learn my lesson to not make a fool of myself in public. I'm a glutton for embarrassment.
I was so excited to rock out my knee high, red, pleather, platform boots with my sequence thong and booty shorts. I did my makeup, put on my press on nails, and painted them a lovely shade of red with glitter. That's when I realized my first mistake. I should have put on the fish nets before I put on the nails. Oh well, I lost a few nails in the process, but I managed to get them on.
I realized how skanky my costume was, and was okay with it. When everyone else saw it, they made me doubt myself. Everyone kept saying I was going to get kicked out of the bar since you could see my butt crack, and the bottom of my butt cheeks. I drank some more vodka, and said I would bring a pair of jeans, just in case.
The first people I saw when I got to the bar were my co-workers. I found out today that I actually showed them just how much of my body was exposed before I said, "It's okay if you see my butt, we've worked together long enough that it doesn't matter." I don't remember that, but there is lots to the night I don't remember.
I made a dollar when I was doing karaoke. Some random person put it in my guarder, alongside the flask I had tucked away. I decided I was on a roll, so why not bust out in a dance in front of everyone. In the process of dancing, I broke the bottoms off both of my shoes. Some of my friends came down to help me up the stairs since they thought I wouldn't be able to walk without my shoes in one piece.
Amazingly enough, I managed to walk up a flight of stairs with minimal help without falling. As soon as I got upstairs, I collapsed though. I couldn't get up, and I think I took one of my friends down with me. I sat on the floor of the bar until someone brought me my tennis shoes and changed.
I think lots of other exciting things happened, but I don't really remember. I do know that I love Amanda, but I just wanted her to leave me alone. Long story, but apparently I said that to her. Sorry.
I've heard there is video footage of me singing, but I've yet to see it, and hope to never be forced to watch it. The night would have been better if I had remembered my camera, but I'm dumb. So, everyone who has pictures, send some my way. This was a night I wish I could remember.

Almost Time

2006-11-17T19:47:00.000-08:00

I'm uber excited for the party tomorrow. Yes, I just wrote uber, and I don't think that's how it's even spelled. I got 10 hours of sleep last night and feel great today. Hurray for my health!
I think I may end up being kicked out of the bar tomorrow. My costume is that trashy. The top makes me look skanky enough, but the bottoms are going to cause some problems. They don't quite cover my butt cheeks. Oops. Actually, all they are is a pair of girl's panties. I can't believe I'm going out in public like this.
When I bought them today, I rationalized with myself that I would be wearing fishnets, so it would be okay. Right, because fishnets provide so much coverage. Hopefully I'll be able to get a few drinks in before I get sent home.
Whatever, I'm so ready to get to this party it's ridiculous. I'm going to need some liquid courage before I get there though. Luckily for me, MJ is having a pre-party at her house while we all get ready tomorrow night. I should be good to go by 9.

I Need a Quick Fix

2006-11-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

Just over 46 hours till the big birthday party, and what should happen? I'm coming down with the flu. I woke up sweating like a pig last night. My tummy has been a rumbling all day today, although I have yet to get sick. I've been having spells of feeling light headed on and off today.
What should I do? I'm worried that I'll be sick during the party. Short of being completely incapacitated, I'll be there though. Damn it, I have my costume all planned out...although I need to make some last minute purchases to complete it tomorrow. Maybe I'll get lucky and it will only be a 24 hour bug. I've been feeling worse as the day goes on, which leads me to believe the worst is yet to come. If worse comes to worse, I guess I can always drink orange juice(with lots of vodka mixed in) at the party. At least I'll be getting some vitamins out of it.

Voicemail

2006-11-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I love voicemails. You never know what you're going to get with that. With some people, I know I'm going to laugh every time I get a voice mail. Those normally come from Amanda.
Amanda has had me laughing twice in the last 3 days with her voice mails. On Saturday, she called when I was on the phone with my sister, so I let her go to voicemail. I was making lunch when I checked it, so I put her on speaker phone. Out of nowhere, she asked if I wanted a cock ring for my birthday. I don't think I have ever laughed that hard in my life. The only thing that would have made the moment better would have been if someone had been around and heard the message, but no one was.
Tonight, she left me another message. She wanted to warn me of the mass amounts of alcohol she would be drinking at my party. Then she dropped a huge bomb on me. She said it like it was no big deal, then realized I didn't know about it, but just carried on with her conversation like nothing had happened. God love her.
I called her back, and accidentally hung up the phone before I could leave a message. I called again, and was in the middle of a long message, when her phone cut me off. I never got to finish what I needed to say, but I couldn't call her back a third time. Amanda, call me tomorrow(or tonight if you're still up, I'll be up late).

Abercrombie and Coats

2006-11-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

I have a problem with clothes. Specifically, I have a problem with coats. I own at least 20, not exaggerated. I can't help myself when I see a coat that I like.
Last week, I was at the mall and ended up in Abercrombie and Fitch. I tend to avoid that store because it's so overpriced, and the clothes tend to be bland...don't hate me for my opinion. I was in there, and saw a sweater that I liked a lot on a mannequin. I looked all over the store for it, and couldn't find it. I asked one of the workers and he told me that they didn't have it in the store. It was simply for display. Uhhh, why do you display clothes you aren't selling?
Anyhow, when I was looking for the sweater, I came across a coat that I liked. Here's the problem with coats and my body. I have broad shoulders, long arms, and a non-existent waist. It's hard for me to find coats that fit me well. Despite the fact that I don't need a new coat, I tried it on. It was amazing. It fit me! I looked at the price and decided not to buy it. A huge step for someone who's as much of an impulse buyer as me.
A few days later, I was still thinking about how much I wanted the coat. I decided to go back on Saturday and buy it. I tried it on again, hoping I would notice some huge flaw in it and decide to save my money. I couldn't find anything wrong with it though. In fact, I loved it even more then I remembered. I questioned how I had lived the last few days without it.
I figured there was a good chance the coat had undergone a major price cut in the past 2 days, and checked the price again. Instead of a price tag, there was a tag that said something to the effect of "Property of Abercrombie and Fitch's Display, Not for Sale." I knew from previous experiences not to try to have them sell the coat to me. They won't do it.
I rummaged through the remaining coats in hopes of finding another small. I couldn't find one. The only coat that fit me was not for sale. I hate that store. Everyone that works there is so pretentious and thinks they are better then you. They display clothes that aren't for sale, and don't sell the clothes on the rack.
I would pretend that I'm going to boycott the store, but I won't. Tomorrow, I'm going to go there, rip the price tag off one of the other coats and switch it for the price tag on the display coat. Then, I'll boycott.

25

2006-11-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

I don't know why my computer won't allow me to upload my picture, but I give up. I turned 25 today. Shoot me now. I'm getting too old.
Today was actually pretty low key. I'm saving myself for the big party on Saturday. I'm incredibly excited about it, but I had a little bit of a mishap, which may cause some problems.
I bought some stripper boots to go with my costume(pimps and ho's theme FYI). They have huge heels and platforms. The problem is that they're a little small. I decided to put them on Friday night for a few minutes to see if I could stretch them out a little. They actually stretched some, and I was happy. When I was about to take them off, I somehow managed to break the heel on one of them.
I'm hoping I can super glue it and all will be fine. If not, I'm just going to be a gimpy ho. I can't wait to whore it up on Saturday.

Why, Hello There

2006-11-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

I actually wrote about this when it first happened, but then my computer crashed before I could post it, and I didn't feel like rewriting it again till tonight. Also, I don't feel like uploading pictures, so that's why the last few posts haven't included any. And now, our feature presentation.
On Halloween, a few of us decided to relive our Rocky Horror characters one more time. We went to the bar in costumes just for fun. I was the first to arrive, scantily clad in little more then some crotch hugging short shorts. As I was walking to the bathroom, I overheard someone ask if the cast of Rocky Horror was all coming out that night. Nice to know we're recognizable.
Anyhow, the bar ended up getting crowded. Crowded to the point that you couldn't move. We had arrived early enough to snag a table, but no one could get up from it to get to the bar since it was surrounded by people.
At one point, a couple of my friends asked if I would get them drinks since I was the closest to the bar. I said I would and squeezed through the crowd.
As I was standing in line, I felt something brush my butt. I didn't really think too much of it since it was so crowded. Then, I felt it again. Only this time, it lingered. Again, I figured it was just crowded and someone didn't realize their hand was rubbing my ass, or it was one of my friends joking with me.
I turned around to see a person in a mask. Masks freak me out. I have a huge phobia of them, to the point of running away from my parents screaming in a busy amusement park when I was a kid and they tried to force me to get my picture taken with someone in a giant plush head. Knowing that someone in a mask was touching my nether regions made me incredibly uncomfortable, so I inched forward to get to the bar. I made it about a half a step forward before being stopped by the wall of people in front of me.
At this point, the person grabbed my butt. I lost it. I threw my elbow back as hard as I could and yelled what the hell are you doing. I couldn't bring myself to look at the person as I did it since I was too scared of the mask. Luckily, the person took the hint that my bum isn't public domain(for people in masks at least) and walked away. This just adds to the reasons that people dressed up in costumes freak me out.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

2006-11-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

It's been 10 days since my car was broken into, and I'm still feeling the effects. I had a shard of glass stuck in my finger, that I was finally able to pull out today. The good news is, my finger isn't as painful anymore, so I'll be blogging again.
Aside from the physical pain I've been going through as a result of these assholes, there's also the financially strain as well. I just got my car back yesterday after getting my window replaced. I immediately stopped to buy a new CD player. I thought I would be able to figure out how to install it myself, but I can't. Wires have never been my forte.
My back passenger tire has been losing air since everything happened. I had to put air in every few days in order to get to and from where ever I was going. I forgot to mention that when they were fixing my window. When I was driving home just now, my car kept pulling to the left. I figured it was because my tire was getting low. When I got home, I realized that the tire is completely flat; to the point that I'm not sure how I was able to drive without seeing sparks. We'll just add that to the tally of things that I have to pay for.
I had big plans to get all dressed up tomorrow so I could look nice for my new driver's license picture(my birthday is Sunday, I expect calls and well wishes from everyone), but since my car is out of commission, I doubt I'll be able to make it. I'll have to drive with an expired license and risk getting pulled over and thrown in jail. Don't you just love people who break into your car and screw up your life for weeks to come?

Bastards

2006-10-28T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so pissed right now. I had my show tonight, and decided that since I don't work tomorrow or anything, I would go out and have a good time. There was a Halloween party going on just down the road, so I left my car and went to it.
I was walking back to my car, and noticed broken glass around my drivers side door. Some jackass decided to break into my car and steal my CD player. Luckily, I had locked the door, so they smashed my window. It gets better.
Of course, there was glass all over my seat, so as I was cleaning it off, I cut my thumb. I hoped the assholes who did it were still close by and would decide to try to mug me at that point because I would have killed them. No such luck.
After I cleaned off my seat, I remembered that my check book was in the glove compartment. I checked, and it was still in there with all my checks. At least one good thing out of all of this.
Against my better judgment, I decided to drive home. I was about half way home before I even thought that I should have called the police and filed a claim. Not that the CD player is that big of a deal, but I know it's going to cost me a lot of money to get my window fixed. So much for insurance if I didn't file a claim.
Anyhow, after I got in my car, I turned it on and turned on the headlights. The stupid fuckers messed up my lights on my dashboard when they took out my CD player, so I couldn't see how fast I was driving. I was just waiting for a cop to pull me over for speeding the whole way home.
Of course someone wouldn't have the courtesy to break into my car in the summer. I froze the whole way home. I sure do love Saginaw.

Show Time

2006-10-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

I have a horrible habit of getting injured when I'm doing shows. I've had a significant injury in about half of the shows that I've been in. I was really proud of myself because Rocky Horror went off with out any problems, and nothing had happened during MacBeth. I guess I was getting a little ahead of myself, because tonight, I got hurt.
Those aren't my legs, by the way.
We were choreographing the sword fight scene at the end of the show. We had run through it a few times, and were going to do it again, just to make sure everyone was comfortable. I begin the scene on a platform that's about 3 feet off the ground. I get pushed off of it, into Paul.
Like I said, we had done it a few times already, and there were no problems. This time, I somehow managed to land on Paul's knee. All of my weight(and there's quite a bit more weight then normal after the way I've been eating the last few weeks) and momentum carried my thigh on my right leg straight into his knee.
I couldn't feel my leg for a good 10 minutes after it happened. I was going to go out tonight, but when I got in my car after rehearsal, my leg started twitching and throbbing. I tried to massage it, but that just gave me shooting pains, so I gave up on that.
I kind of hope my leg swells up and I can't walk so I can get a few days off of work. Wouldn't that be great.

New Kids on the Block

2006-10-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

I just read an email from my sister that made me laugh. It seems that former New Kids on the Block member, Jordan Knight will be in town on Friday to sign autographs. Why, I'm not sure. I'm kind of disappointed because I'll be at rehearsal, and think it would be so great to get his autograph. Anyone who lives in the area and is free from 7-9 on Friday, head to Kathleen's, I want an autograph. I'm being sarcastic by the way. However, if someone does feel so inclined to do so, I'll Be Loving You(Forever) 'Cause You got It(The Right Stuff). I'm serious, No More Games. Till my next blog, keep Hangin' Tough.

Uh-Oh

2006-10-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

Most people that know me, know that I'm a picky eater. My pickiness(not sure if that is a real word or not) is not limited to food, but to beverages as well. As a rule, I drink only beer, milk, and water. I've just never been one to indulge in coffee and sodas.
The problem is, every now and then, I decide to drink something new. About a week ago, my friend introduced me to a new juice/smoothie, that is really good. On my way to rehearsal tonight, I decided to buy some since I was in the mood for something different.
The problem is, when your body is used to only 3 types of liquids, it doesn't know how to handle anything new. I drank my berry burst smoothie like it was going out of style. An hour later, I didn't feel too well...use your imagination.
The 303 only has one bathroom. I tried my best to wait till rehearsal was done, but gave up when I realized I was not going to make it. I probably should have just waited. See, the toilet wouldn't flush when I was done.
I'm not really sure why I'm writing about this, since it is really gross, but at the same time, it's kind of funny. Anyhow, I could have been absolutely mortified, but instead, I stood in the bathroom laughing. In a situation like that, what else can you do really?
I figured the reason the toilet wasn't flushing was because someone had used it right before me. I figured that if I waited a few minutes, I could go back in there and flush again. No one would know anything had happened. I left the bathroom and prayed that no one would go in there. As far as I know, no one did, and except for everyone reading my blog, no one will ever know what happened.

Eye Sore

2006-10-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

My life is filled with self loathing, so it shouldn't come as much of a shock when I decide to write about some aspect of myself that I dislike. However, I will have to say that I hate my eye lashes with a passion, which probably seems strange to most people.
It may seem like an odd thing to be concerned about, but my eyelashes suck. They are long; extremely long actually. I liken them to a horse's eyelashes(go look at a horse if you don't know what I mean). Girl's always tell me they wish they had my eyelashes, which is odd, but I take it in stride.
The thing that I hate about my eyelashes is that some of the upper ones grow downward. People constantly tell me I have an eyelash that has fallen out and is hanging in my eye. Actually, that's just the way they are.
I constantly have lines in my sight because I can see the eyelashes that are hanging in front of my eye. It drives me nuts, but there is nothing I can do. Sometimes, they even scratch my eye.
When I was younger, I would pluck those eyelashes, but it hurt really bad and grossed me out, so I stopped. Then, I bought an eyelash curler in hopes of getting them to go the right way. It didn't work. The lashes that grow upward would curl higher, but the ghetto ones never got into the curler and just got smashed further downward in the process.
I had given up hope until a few months ago, when I was introduced to the magical thing called clear mascara. All my lashes were pointed in the same direction for the first time in my life. I was so happy that I could see clearly and didn't have hair poking my eyes. For a few days, I was on cloud nine. Then, people started to ask me if I was wearing eye makeup. I guess my lashes looked too good. I got embarrassed and haven't used it since.
Does anyone have any good solutions for this? I realize this is a problem I could just live with, but I would rather not have to if I could.

Only In My Life

2006-10-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

Once again, I've been neglecting my blog. This past week has kind of sucked. Okay, the last few months in my life have kind of sucked. I'm getting tired of everything that's been going wrong in my life lately. Things seem to be getting better now though. We'll just hope it stays that way. I don't know how much more stress my poor heart can take.
Anyhow, the picture to the left is of my friend Kristyn. She's in a costume for a show she didn't do...long story. I love her to death. A while ago, I let her know I would tutor her in her math class if she needed the help. Mind you, I haven't been in a math class for about 3 years, but I figured I would still remember.
Thursday night, she called me out on my favor I had offered. She called me during the day and told me to be ready to do math at rehearsal that night. Since we're in opposite scenes, we really didn't get to do much together. In response, we did what any normal people would do in this situation. We went to the bar to do math homework. That's right, we were in the middle of a crowded bar trying to figure out how to complete the square and use the quadratic equation.
I don't really think I helped her too much, but it was an experience I'll never forget. People kept asking us if we were really doing math, or if it was just a ploy to be alone. Sadly, we really were doing math.

Make Me Stop

2006-10-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

I just got home from Detroit. Yes, Detroit, land of the Pistons, Tigers, and one of the highest murder rates in the country. Actually, I wasn't really IN Detroit, I went to the airport. Lisa was in New York for the weekend, and I picked her up.
We were having a nice drive back, belting out songs from Footloose, because we're cool like that, when the conversation took a serious turn. She asked me how things were going, and out of nowhere, I just unleashed everything I've been holding in for the last few weeks.
I was supposed to go to New York with her, but because of work, and other things, I couldn't. I was really disappointed in it, especially since I've been feeling like my life is just one big responsibility lately.
As I vented about how overwhelmed I feel with everything that I've been doing lately, I also started to tell her about my fears that things were going to start to affect my personal life too. How long can you go without seeing someone before they take it personally and get bored? I appologized for being the downer in the car, and told her I was done complaining. I wasn't though. For about 2 seconds, there was an awkward silence before I started in on it again.
Lisa took it like a champ, and before we knew it, we were back to singing along with the CD.
Once I voiced my concerns though, I couldn't get them out of my head. I feel like I need to make some changes. Every morning, I wake up and am already overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to do during that day. It seems like an endless cycle, and I'm stressed beyond belief about it. Perhaps I will take a week off of work, and everything else that I have going on, and hide out in bed. Of course, that will never happen. I just need time to do things that I want to do, and be with people I want to be with.

Cricket

2006-09-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

On occasion, I decide to write about my friends on my blog. Since I'm bored, and my friends are out of town/working; which means I'm at home alone on a Saturday night, I decided to write about my good friend Amanda...A.K.A., Cricket.
I've known Amanda for about 5 years now. Not too long in the great scheme of things, but long enough to know that she is a great friend. We met during Grease at the good old Pit. I think I may have written that before.
Amanda is one of those people you can trust. She is the only person, other then me, who knows the password to my blog. Perhaps that is because I know the password to hers too. She's only abused the privilege once, to correct a blog entry I had written about the Red Violin.
The picture above is actually a picture of her on her birthday back in '84. Spectacular, isn't it? She looks just as smashing in present day. She was even crowned "Miss Lake Dardenelle" a few years back.
Amanda always takes time out of her busy schedule to correct my spelling and tell me what weekends I'm allowed to throw birthday parties on, so she will be able to attend. God love her.

ADD

2006-09-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, Lisa told me how to update my profile on myspace, to include fun surveys and cool layouts. I know how to do the surveys, so those will be slowly added to my page, but the process for changing the layouts has completely slipped my mind. I was trying to do change my layout and put a song on my page today, when I realized, not only do I not know what I'm doing, but I must have one of the worst cases of ADD ever.
Here's the thing. Everyone who knows me, knows how impatient I am. I hate to sit around and be idle. I constantly have to be doing something, which would explain why I normally get about 5 hours of sleep each night and work about 19 hour days. When I was looking for layouts and music, I realized that maybe it isn't impatience so much as being physically unable to sit still long enough to finish a task.
I thought I knew how to change my layout. I was trying to do it, but after about 20 seconds, I realized that I didn't feel like looking anymore and just chose one to use. It didn't work, but that isn't important.
I can't for the life of me figure out how to add a song to my profile(Amanda, call me, I'll give you my password and let you do it for me. I'm so over trying to figure it out). I tried for a bit, but I just can't do it anymore. I can't sit around trying to figure it out.
Like most things in my life, I can't complete a task. Don't think this makes me an active person, because I'm not. I simply can't stand waiting around for something. I always think there is something more important I could be doing. Maybe I should be medicated for this...or sedated.

Gas Prices

2006-09-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

There's nothing worse then high gas prices. Luckily, they've been coming down some lately. However, I hate it when you miss the low prices because you don't need gas. This always happens to me.
I filled up my tank a few days ago. Less then an hour later, I drove by the gas station, and gas prices had dropped 12 cents a gallon. That sucks.
I was thinking about filling my gas tank before work today since I was running a little ahead of schedule. I decided I would do it after work. Of course, while I was working, gas prices jumped 14 cents a gallon. How is it possible that I have that bad of luck? This happens to me all the time. I never get the low gas prices.
I guess I won't miss the $2 I would have saved if I had filled my tank earlier in the day, but it still makes me mad that I am never able to get cheap gas. I think the powers that be have some sort of gauge in my car that says when my tank is getting low so they can raise the prices of gas.

English

2006-09-25T19:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not racist. I just need to throw that out there before I write this. I'm actually very impressed when people are able to speak more then one language. However, if English isn't your first language, I feel there are certain jobs you shouldn't hold. Namely, you shouldn't be taking my call at FedEx.
I call FedEx all the time for work. Whenever

we have labwork that we aren't able to run at the clinic, FedEx comes to pick it up and send it to the lab for us. I have their telephone script down, and can answer all their questions for them before they ask me. It's amazing.

Today, I called, and got a man who spoke broken English and couldn't understand me. It was really frustrating for me. First of all, he doesn't need my name. Second, I shouldn't have to spell my last name for you 3 times before you get it correct. Third, when I say, I know it's too late for pick up tonight, you can pick up the package after 7:30 tomorrow, the next thing out of his mouth shouldn't be, I'm sorry it's past your cut off time for pick up tonight. What time will it be available tomorrow?

Saturday Afternoon

2006-09-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

My sister and I are not normal. We went to the mall today just to kill some time and waste money. Of course, we ended up at our favorite clothing store. I wanted jeans, but didn't feel much like looking for them, so I found one of our favorite sales associates and told her what I wanted. I let her do the work. As I was walking to the dressing room, I found another pair that I really liked. I picked them up and made a lewd comment to my sister. The sales girl heard me and asked my sister if I was a whore...true story. I laughed really hard.
I bought the jeans, and my sister was driving me home, when she made the comment that she wants a tattoo. I told her I would get one if she did. That's how it started.
We went to the tattoo place and started looking through books to decide what we wanted. I saw the Chinese...or some oriental language, not sure which, word for loose. I figured I had to get it. It describes me perfectly. MJ decided to get the word for mole; a long story about our childhood.
I wanted to get mine on the underside of my left arm, but I've heard from a lot of people that is one of the most sensitive areas. The artist was making fun of me because I was so scared. He started and I realized that everyone had lied to me. It was the least painful tattoo I've had.
The artist was really funny. Molly and I can be a lot to handle, but he took it in stride and was laughing at us. He told us we were the highlight of his day. No doubt a ploy to get a tip out of us, but we took it as a compliment.
As we finally were driving home, we laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. Only in my family will someone decide to get a tattoo on a whim with their sister. It was a good bonding experience though.

The Children's Table

2006-09-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday, my family gets together at my parent's house for dinner. It's just a chance for everyone to get to see each other and catch up on gossip. Fun times. Since my family is so large, we require two tables for such functions. We normally separate the children at one table, and the adults at another. I tend to end up at the children's table.

Since I'm one of the few left who isn't married, when someone has to sit with the kids, it's normally me. That way two adults don't have to sit there. I love my nieces and nephews, but I'm not one for kids, so sitting at the children's table isn't much fun for me. Luckily, I was able to squeeze in next to Eric tonight at the adult table. As my family was laughing at my plight, my sister reminded me of earlier years, when we were banished to the kid's table.

For holiday dinners, my entire family would be home. Today, my entire immediate family consists of 20 people when you factor in my brother and sister-in-laws, as well as nieces and nephew. You can imagine that many people don't fit at one dining room table, no matter how big it was. When I was getting out of high school and the first few years of college, we couldn't really have a kid's table, since my nieces were too young to eat by themselves. Thus, Molly, Kara, Kyle and I got screwed every holiday and had to sit at a card table by ourselves.

It sounds really funny, but it wasn't. We were excluded from every conversation, had to get up and get food if we wanted it since no one could pass it to us, and were completely ignored. After the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, we decided to enjoy the holidays our way, with liquor.

Like I said, no one paid any attention to what we did, so we would break into the liquor cabinet...okay, the basement, we didn't have a cabinet. While everyone else was having a glass of wine, we were mixing mean drinks and getting trashed. Kyle was between the ages of 12 and 14 the years this happened. Thus, I don't think I've ever celebrated a major holiday with my family while sober. It's my link to rougher times.

Discrimination

2006-09-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

I know that my trials don't compare to most minorities, but I feel I need to write this so you can all be aware of the problem that is

plaguing our country and do your best to stop it. I'm going to start a coalition that demands equal rights for left handed people.

I'm so tired of going to restaurants and having to move my silverware from the right side of the table to the left. Especially when I'm doing something with my left hand when the server walks up to the table and sets the silverware down.

The worst is when I need to sign something. You wouldn't believe how many people refuse to hand a pen to your left hand. Just try it sometime. They'll automatically bring the pen to your right side, and most of the time won't correct themselves when you try to grab it with your left hand.

Here's what should be done. Silverware should be placed in front of a person, below the plate if needed. That way, I don't have to reach across my food with my expensive clothes and risk getting my sleeve in it.

Pens should always be presented to the center of a person. This way, the person can decide which hand to grab it with. It isn't difficult, and it would make me a lot less cranky every time I have to correct people on a daily basis.

Party Planning

2006-09-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that my birthday isn't until midway through November, planning for Lisa and my party has begun. I got a phone call from Amanda last week so she could give me her work schedule and plan the party around it. God love her.

Last year's party was great. It was a costume party that was 80's themed. We were a little worried that we wouldn't be able to top it, but I believe that we have. This year, our party theme is Pimps and Hoes. That's right, a costume party where everyone comes dressed as either a pimp or a hoe. I can't wait.

Invitations will be sent out later, since it's still way too early. I'm a little worried about party favors though. What do you give everyone for a party with this theme? I've been thinking it may be fun to give everyone an STD. What do you think?

Welcome Back

2006-09-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

Although I love my family, I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be born into different circumstances. Would I be less self-conscious/mean/ugly/depressed?
To the chagrin of some of my readers, I'm not going to go into too much detail with this post. All I'll say is that I've been a jackass to some people recently. If I could take things back, I would. Unfortunately, we make mistakes and have to deal with them. So, to those that I've made upset and angry, I'm sorry. I love you all.